


My Heart Sinks to my Feet

by Cavoy95



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 61,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28378845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cavoy95/pseuds/Cavoy95
Summary: An AU story of Luisa and Rose meeting in college. Mostly fluffy.
Relationships: Luisa Alver/Rose Solano
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an early 2000s college AU to bring the ages closer to what Rose and Luisa would be today—so even though cell phones may get mentioned, they aren’t what they are today. 
> 
> I watched the show for the first time a few weeks ago, and fell in love with Roisa. I found myself fast forwarding through everything except for them. So I don’t really know the show all that well because I wasn’t particularly invested in Jane Gloriana Villanueva, et al. I mean, Roisa was just so much more interesting, right? Although I did watch Petra and JR. So I guess maybe I’m just gay. 
> 
> Something I discovered whilst writing this fic: The dictionary has finally included the word apocalypses (as in plural). Maybe that has to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
> 
> Title takes its name from the song by Ra Ra Riot “Can You Tell?”

The first time Rose saw Luisa, she heard bells.

Literally. 

It was noon, and the school bell tower struck 12 times. Rose was walking from the west, and Luisa was walking from the east, and when they were about five feet away from each other, some douchebag on a skateboard moved right in front of Rose, causing her to stumble. The contents of her iced coffee flew out as the lid became dislodged, and Rose watched, dismayed, as her half-consumed venti iced Americano splattered all over the pretty brunette in a white tank top, dark blue jeans and red flip flops. The bells started to ring in that moment, and Rose was mortified beyond all articulation. 

For her part, Luisa did not seem particularly surprised or upset. 

“Oh my God, I am so sorry,” Rose said. She was fuming as she watched the back of the dingus on the skateboard skate away, oblivious to the havoc he caused. 

Luisa waited patiently for the bells to pass before she held her hand out. “Hey. I’m Luisa,” she said with a smile.

Rose got a better look at the girl she just covered in coffee. Luisa peered up at, still smiling. Rose swallowed hard, feeling unfamiliarly flustered. Rose could not resist smiling back. “I’m Rose,” she said, moving her empty cup from her right hand to her left, and then shaking Luisa’s hand. She was even more mortified when she realized her right hand was slightly wet from the spilled coffee, but Luisa didn’t seem to notice or care. 

Luisa gave her a wide, slow smile. “Rose,” she repeated softly. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

Jesus Christ, this girl was just adorable. 

Rose just stood there for a few seconds, unsure what to do and feeling like a lummox. What she really wanted to do was just to stare at Luisa a little longer, but then she remembered herself. She realized she was holding napkins she snagged from the campus coffee shop, so she handed them over to Luisa. It was the least she could do. 

Luisa accepted them and began patting herself dry, but it was hopeless. Luisa looked like she needed Pampers. 

Rose wanted the ground open up, swallow her whole, and then re-form like she’d never existed. 

\--

They chatted for a few minutes, with Rose apologizing over and over again. It wasn’t really in her nature to get flustered like this, so she was totally thrown for a loop. She didn’t know how to act even if Luisa was being so gracious. Rose felt like a total idiot.

As it turned out, they happened to live in the same dorm, and decided to walk back together, Luisa totally ignoring the fact she was drenched in Rose’s iced coffee. A few people stared, but Luisa seemed oblivious.

It was the first Monday after freshman move-in day into the dorms, and classes weren’t due to start for another week to give the freshman time to acclimate, buy textbooks and explore the campus. The atmosphere of the dorm was decidedly festive and loud music blared in all directions. Luisa seemed thrilled when they walked into the dorm.

“What floor?” Luisa asked as they entered the elevator.

“Nine.”

“Hey,” Luisa said with a big grin. “Me too, neighbor.” 

Rose was already in love.

\--

It turned out that they lived directly across the hall from one another.

“Oh,” Luisa said, once they discovered this. “We’re _really_ neighbors,” she noted. “Wow. I guess it was just so crazy yesterday that we didn’t see each other.”

This had to be true because there was no way Rose would have not noticed Luisa yesterday because she would have fallen in love yesterday instead of today.

“I have to clean up and change my clothes, but my roommate and I are going to go to the dining hall for lunch—with your roommate actually,” Luisa said. “You’re going to join us, right?”

How could Rose refuse?

\--

Luisa’s roommate was a tiny Korean-American girl called Erin, who always added about five inches to her height because she had short girl rage. Luisa herself was only about 5’3” and towered above her roommate, but never said anything about her roommate’s obvious delusions. 

Luisa and Erin had apparently instantly liked one another, and so Rose told herself she should like Erin since it was obvious Luisa liked her.

Rose wasn’t planning on getting close to her roommate, Kara, but apparently in the 24 hours since everyone moved in, Kara and Erin had hit it off hit it off. Rose had exchanged pleasantries with Kara the day before, but they’d lapsed into silence pretty early soon after they met, so Rose really hadn’t planned on something like this where she would be hanging out.

\--

Lunch was spent by Rose quietly observing Luisa dominate the conversation. She apparently met half the dorm by this point, and more people kept joining their table. Luisa smiled easily, but didn’t laugh very much, so Rose felt very pleased with herself when she told a stupid joke and Luisa laughed loudly, her laughter coming out as a boisterous HA HA HA HA.

It was kind of a dorky laugh, but it filled Rose with affection. 

Luisa gave her a big smile once she finished laughing. “6:30 is the best time, hands down,” she said, repeating Rose’s joke and shaking her head. “That’s so stupid, but I love it.”

Rose smiled. “I love a stupid joke.”

“Me too.”

\--

Rose was happy when lunch was over—she wanted to get away from the crowd of people. People had always annoyed her, and today was no exception. 

She, Luisa, Erin and Kara left the dining hall to walk back to their room, and got in the elevator with three other guys who tried way too hard to chat them up.

They were walking back to their rooms, when they saw a girl hovering outside Luisa and Erin’s door.

Luisa’s face immediately brightened. “Al!” she shouted. 

The girl _Al_ , Luisa had referred to her as, looked up and smiled as well. 

There was something in the way they looked at one another that made Rose’s heart sink with disappointment. She didn’t know why, but it did. This had never happened to her before. 

She was experiencing a lot of firsts today. 

Luisa linked arms with Al, pulling her close. “I’ll see you guys later,” she told Rose, Erin and Kara before she and Al walked off, giggling, toward the elevators, their heads pressed closely together.

‘Al’ turned out to be Allison, and as Rose got to know her, Rose thought she was a real bitch. 

\--

Rose had always known she was a lesbian, but it was only recently that she stopped wishing she weren’t. She’d had her share of high school hook-ups, but she’d never had a relationship and she certainly had never been in love. 

She’d never felt the pull to someone that she experienced with Luisa, and it was really throwing her for a loop. 

The first few hours she knew Luisa, she’d told herself that Luisa was straight, and therefore unattainable even as her mind replayed every smile and interaction obsessively. Rose was not blessed with gaydar, so she just assumed everyone was straight unless they affirmed they were gay, and even then, she sometimes thought maybe they were just messing with her.

But something in the way Luisa looked at that Allison girl told Rose that Luisa was definitely not all the way straight which meant that maybe, just maybe, it was a little possible that Luisa was attainable. 

Rose wanted to scream into a pillow, but she settled for screaming inwardly. 

It was not as satisfying.

\--

Luisa was vague about her relationship with Allison, explaining that they were friends from high school, but Allison was around a lot that first week. The more Rose saw of Allison, the more she disliked her. Classes weren’t in session yet, so they had nothing but time, and so Rose spent a lot of time with Kara, Luisa and Erin. Allison was frequently present even though she lived in one of the other dorms. 

It wasn’t so much jealousy, although Rose could admit to herself that she was jealous. It was more that Allison wasn’t nice, and she was especially unkind to Luisa, which made absolutely no sense because Luisa was a real sweet pea. 

When they were all hanging out in a group, Allison frequently talked over Luisa or interrupted her. And there was something really mean in the way Allison treated Luisa. 

Like when Luisa was in the middle of telling a silly story about a conversation she’d had the other day over the phone with her little brother who was eight years old. 

“No one wants to hear about some little kid, Luisa,” Allison interrupted, rolling her eyes.

Luisa shut up instantly. “Okay.”

“Um, I’m interested,” Erin interjected. “Rafael sounds a lot like my little sister. Her name is Jane, and she’s a real pain. Since our last name is Yu, I would always tell her that Yu was her middle name and that Pain was her real last name, so she was Jane Yu Pain,” Erin shared with a laugh. “Of course now I miss the little pain. What else did he say, Luisa?”

“I’m interested, too,” Kara said. “He sounds so sweet.”

Luisa grinned at them. “He is, he really is the best little kid.”

“Same,” Rose added. In her mind she thought, ‘I will love anything you love,’ but of course she didn’t say that part out loud. She wasn’t all that interested in little kids either, but she was interested in anything Luisa had to say. Her eyes drifted to Allison who was looking at Luisa and scowling. ‘Except you,’ she thought. ‘I hate you.’ Then she looked back at Luisa. “We all want to hear.”

Luisa smiled at her and went back to her story.

Allison did things like that all the time, and Rose always wanted to say something about it, but she’d only known Luisa for a few days, and she didn’t feel like it was her place. If she said something about it, she had no idea how Luisa would react, but she knew it was unlikely to be positive, and Rose wasn’t willing to risk their burgeoning friendship. 

But she thought it was really screwed up that they had only known each other a few days, and she had so many examples of the way Allison was awful to Luisa. 

\--

That first Friday and Saturday night was pure insanity all around campus and all around the fraternity and sorority houses. Rose didn’t really feel like going out, but she got roped into going by Luisa, Erin and Kara. Allison was going to be joining them, but not until a bit later, so Rose planned to enjoy the limited Allison-free time.

Luisa’s outfit for the evening left little to the imagination, and Rose felt her mouth go dry at the sight. She wanted to kiss that girl senseless. 

When Allison finally met up with them, the smile on Luisa’s face was so huge, Rose was _almost_ glad she was there because she liked seeing Luisa happy. 

\--

She wasn’t try to spy on them, but she couldn’t help but observe them, which is how she happened to catch them in the middle of a fight, 

They didn’t see her, but Rose watched as Allison yanked Luisa off to the side in the midst of the raging frat party.

“Stop being crazy.” Allison hissed.

Rose had no idea what prompted that, because Luisa just seemed like she was having fun, but being called crazy obviously hit a nerve judging by the wounded look on Luisa’s face. 

Rose wasn’t sure exactly what happened after that because Allison marched off in a huff, and Luisa ran off after her. Rose hoped Luisa told Allison off, but she was pretty sure that’s not at all what happened. Rose lost sight of Luisa for a while after that, but the next time Rose saw Luisa, Luisa was doing a keg stand with some guys from the dorm, and Allison was nowhere in sight.

Rose tried to keep an eye on Luisa, but the girl just constantly kept moving. She was like that when she was sober, too, but inebriated Luisa had a boundless reservoir of energy. Every time Rose saw her, Luisa had a new drink in her hand, but she seemed like she was holding her liquor pretty well. Rose wanted to tie their wrists together so that Luisa couldn’t keep wiggling away, but alas, it just wasn’t meant to be.

She found Erin who was talking to some people from one of her classes, and they were soon joined by Kara.

“Have you seen Luisa?” Erin asked.

Kara sighed. “No! I swear, that girl is a magician or something. One minute she’s here, and then poof, she disappears.”

Rose glanced around. “Yeah, same.”

“Ugh! Right? And she is so short, she just sort of disappears, fucking Houdini shit.” Erin said.

“ _You’re_ short,” Kara told her.

Erin scowled. “I’m a perfectly average five foot six,” she said.

“You’re maybe four foot eleven,” Kara said.

Erin glared at her. “Whatever! That is not the point. We have to find Houdini. We’re like Navy SEALS, we’ll never leave a man behind. We’ll meet back right here in 15 minutes, okay?”

“I think those are the Rangers,” Kara pointed out.

“Move it,” Erin said.

The three separated into separate directions. Rose walked around searching for her missing friend. It was true that Luisa was short, and therefore, easily misplaced. 

She was starting to get anxious, thinking about all the date rape lectures she had to sit through from orientation. She was upset they hadn’t created a better plan for staying together, and she was especially upset with herself for losing track of Luisa.

Almost 15 minutes had passed, and Rose started to head back hoping that Erin and Kara had tracked Luisa down. 

Allison suddenly appeared in front of Rose with Luisa in tow. Luisa was definitely drunk—giggling and swaying. “Hey, can you take her?”

She shoved Luisa toward Rose—it wasn’t very gentle, and Luisa stumbled into Rose. Rose wrapped her arms around Luisa to steady her. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

Luisa smiled drunkenly. “I’m great.”

Rose looked up at Allison, but the other girl was already walking away. Rose watched as Allison joined up with another girl, put her arm around her and walked away.

Rose was outraged and wanted to run after Allison for abandoning Luisa so callously, but she knew it could have been worse, and she was just so glad to have found her. Allison could be dealt with later. 

“Come on,” Rose said. “Let’s go home.” 

Luisa was way too drunk to stay out. 

Rose put a steadying arm around Luisa. 

“Where did Ali go?” Luisa asked, confused.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She led Luisa to Kara and Erin who both gave Rose relieved smiles.

“Oh good!” Erin exclaimed.

“Thank God!” Kara said 

“We’re going home,” Rose announced. “Are you coming?”

Erin and Kara looked at one another. “Um, are you going to be okay getting back yourself with her?” Kara asked.

“Yeah,” Rose said. “You guys want to stay? It’s no big deal.”

“We’ll stay a little longer,” Erin said. “We’ll see you guys at home, okay?”

“Okay.”

\--

The walk home seemed to sober Luisa up ever so slightly. She wasn’t being difficult, and the walk was short. 

Rose helped Luisa into her room. Luisa kicked off her shoes which went flying in different directions across the room. She flopped backwards into bed, pulling Rose with her.

“It was fun tonight,” Luisa said, her eyes shut. 

Rose settled Luisa into bed, and then adjusted her position so she was sitting next to Luisa at the edge of the bed. She couldn’t exactly agree that it was fun, but it was nice even looking at Luisa, so she couldn’t say the night was a total loss. 

“Sure,” she said, patting Luisa’s arm.

Luisa cocked open one eye and smiled crookedly. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Rose swallowed. “You can tell me anything.”

“I love Allison,” Luisa sighed. “We’re together. Kind of. It’s complicated.” She opened both her eyes to gauge Rose’s reaction. 

“I know,” Rose said quietly. She thought back to Allison pushing Luisa to her, not that Rose had minded having Luisa in her arms. But she had minded when she watched Allison go off with another girl. She didn’t know for sure that Allison was cheating, but she also didn’t think there was any real explanation. 

Luisa smiled, clearly relieved. “But she doesn’t want anyone to know because of what happened when we were in high school.” Luisa’s eyes were sad and serious.

“What happened in high school?”

Luisa smiled cryptically. “It’s a secret.” She reached for Rose’s hand and clutched it close to her chest. 

Rose chuckled. “I thought we were sharing secrets,” she teased. 

Luisa’s eyes were serious. “It’s a secret. I don’t want to make her angry again. But she’s mad at me anyway,” she sighed. “And I know she pawned me off on you so she could be with someone else,” she said quietly.

Rose swallowed hard. “You weren’t pawned off on me,” she refuted quietly, because she couldn’t refute the rest of it. “I don’t mind at all.”

Luisa smiled at Rose. “I just know we’re going to be really good friends, Rose,” she said sincerely. She grinned and released Rose’s hand to poke at Rose’s thigh. “Now you tell me a secret.”

Rose didn’t have secrets so much as she had thoughts she felt she could never express. She wanted to tell Luisa, ‘this will sound crazy, but I think I’m falling in love with you,’ but instead she chose to say, “my favorite color is blue.”

Luisa laughed. “Of course,” she said. “Like your eyes. You have really pretty eyes.”

Rose lowered her eyes, embarrassed. “Thanks.”

“You know who I love?” Luisa asked.

“Who?” Rose said, suppressing a sigh because she knew Luisa was going to say ‘Allison.’

“Dolly Parton,”

Rose couldn’t help but laugh, because it was just so unexpected. “Wait, what?”

“I went to Dollywood with my dad and brother this summer, after graduation,” Luisa said. “I love her.”

Rose grinned. “I’m a fan.”

Luisa’s face brightened and she pulled closer to Rose, resting her head in Rose’s lap. “You are?”

Rose swallowed hard at the sudden pressure of Luisa’s body on hers. Unthinkingly, she ran her fingers through Luisa’s hair. “I prefer Dolly’s original of ‘I Will Always Love You,’ over Whitney’s cover.”

Luisa’s face brightened. “I am so glad that you know it’s Dolly’s song.” Luisa gave her a sad smile. “You listen to Dolly’s version when you’re still heartbroken. You listen to Whitney’s version when you’re ready to move on.”

“You listened to Dolly’s version a lot more, huh?” Rose asked gently.

“That I have,” Luisa agreed gravely. 

Rose’s eyes drifted to the photo of Luisa and her little brother on Luisa’s nightstand. She reached for it. 

“What’s this from?”

“My quinceañera.” 

Rose peered closer at the date at the bottom of the photo

“Wait, this was like, last year.”

Luisa smiled mischievously. “Shhh, that’s another secret.”

“You’re 16?” Rose felt queasy. 

Fuck. She had it bad for a minor. Rose had turned 18 a month ago, 

Luisa sighed. “Yeah. But it’s a secret.”

“How are you only 16?”

Luisa looked confused. “Because I was born 16 years ago?”

Rose was both amused and exasperated. “I meant, why are you in college already?”

Luisa shrugged. “I have a 150 IQ.” She smiled wryly. “Not that it ever did me any good.”

Rose smiled crookedly. “Well, you met me. You probably wouldn’t have met me if you were still in high school, and you said you think we are going to be very good friends. So there’s some good.”

Luisa beamed at her. “That is very true.”

Rose sat with Luisa until Erin and Kara got home, and then she took a shower and went to bed. 

‘Fuck, she thought. She wasn’t trying to get arrested. This whole week, Rose tried to write Luisa off as a pretty little idiot in a fruitless effort to squash her crush, but it turned out the pretty little idiot was actually a pretty little genius. And goddammit, Rose just liked her more. Everything Luisa did and said just ended up charming her. 

She was trying not to, but she kept replaying the night in her head, and thinking about Luisa telling her ‘you have really pretty eyes.’ What did it mean? Did Luisa think she had pretty eyes? Was she saying merely as an observation, or did she mean it as a compliment? Was there something more to it than just an observation? Did Luisa hold hands with all her friends? Rose sighed. This was ridiculous. She couldn’t be thrown into a tailspin by a girl who was barely old enough to have a driver’s license.

Rose rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow.

This was just so unacceptable. 

\--

By the end of that first week, Luisa was the most popular girl on the floor, if not the entire dorm. She was hard to resist. 

Rose should have found her obnoxious—she was the kind of girl who got piggy back rides from the guys whilst yelling “onward, noble steed!” She had befriended everyone. Luisa gave new dimension to “social butterfly.” Rose should have loathed her, but instead, she found herself wanting Luisa’s attention the way everyone else did.

There were a few things Rose knew about Luisa after nearly a week of knowing her—Luisa was an unrepentant and un-ironic Dolly Parton fan, she could toss back alcohol better than most guys, and she practically vibrated with excess energy—it was clear that she had a difficult time staying still. She always seemed to be moving or running off to something. 

\--

The first official week of school made the party atmosphere in the dorm die down, much to Rose’s relief. She wasn’t so much a party pooper, as she was a hater of people.

But when Luisa asked her if she wanted to come over to her room to watch TV at 3:30pm on Wednesday, Rose agreed to it a little too quickly. 

The TV that Luisa brought with her was small, and there was not a lot of space in the tiny little room Luisa shared with Erin, so Luisa and Rose sat side by side on Luisa’s bed as they flipped through the channels. The screen was about the size of a sheet of 8 ½ x 11 paper. 

It was the calmest Rose had seen Luisa who was usually like a hummingbird. It felt nice, even though it was a little awkward. They really hadn’t spent this kind of one-on-one time where they were both sober.

They finally settled on an episode of _Dragnet_ , a show neither of them had ever seen before. It was very dated, from 1967, but it was also kind of neat to see a glimpse of life from back then.

“Wow,” Luisa commented. “This show is incredibly dated and we’re only,” Luisa glanced at her watch. “Five minutes in.”

Rose agreed. “It is.” She paused. “It’s a really old-fashioned view of marijuana.”

Luisa grinned. “My goodness. Are you a _pothead_?”

Rose snickered. “Far from it,” she said. “I just don’t think it’s _hell_ , the way this show says. Why? Are _you_ a pothead?” she teased.

Luisa smiled crookedly. “I’m not opposed, but I’d prefer a drink over a bong.” She poked Rose’s shoulder. “Do you have something?” she asked teasingly, “surrender your alcohol!”

Rose laughed. “I have nothing.”

Luisa smiled. “Same. For now.”

“I also refuse to contribute to the delinquency of a minor.”

“Ugh,” Luisa groaned. “And when it comes to that, you are also a minor,” Luisa pointed out.

“Yeah, but you’re an actual minor.”

“Ugh.”

They turned their attention back to _Dragnet_ , where Joe Friday was pontificating about the dangers of marijuana and drugs.

Rose snorted. “He called her ‘lady.’”

“You got a problem with that, lady?” Luisa teased. 

The episode went on, and Luisa cracked up. “He called that guy ‘fella,’” she said, laughing so hard she slapped the bed.

“You got a problem with that, fella?” Rose asked, grinning.

Luisa laughed. “No, lady, I don’t.”

“I don’t have a problem with it either, fella.”

The two of them mocked nearly every line of the episode until the character of policewoman Dorothy Miller appeared on screen. 

Policewoman Dorothy Miller was a _fox_. 

The episode took a turn, and Luisa stopped mocking the episode until it got corny all over again. Luisa shook her head. “This show is so bad, but I can’t stop watching. It’s just terrible.”

“I know,” Rose laughed. It was pretty bad, though it must have been pretty good by 1967 standards. Rose hated it, but she also enjoyed hate-watching it with Luisa.

The episode was approaching its conclusion.

“Holy shit!” Luisa gasped. 

“Oh my God!” Rose exclaimed.

They looked at one another, eyes wide. The end of the episode was totally unexpected as a toddler was found drowned in the bathtub because her mother had clearly forgotten her in the bathtub whilst high on marijuana. Rose was more taken aback that such a thing was a storyline in 1967 than the actual death.

They were quiet for a moment and then burst out laughing. 

“This show is so bad,” Luisa groaned. “I mean, come on, that kid was 2 years old, and she was huge. Maybe she could not have gotten out of the bath tub by herself, and that is a big maybe, but she was old enough to sit up and hold her head up, and old enough to cry. She’d old enough to talk, for God’s sake. They should have done this storyline with a much younger child to take developmental milestones into consideration. When my brother, Rafael, was that age, he was climbing on furniture.”

Rose was amused. She also had a tendency to focus on details. “Developmental milestones, huh?” she asked “I don’t think they consulted any pediatricians, but they probably should have. TV shows nowadays probably would. Do you want to watch the next episode?” Rose asked, as the opening credits for the next episode began. 

“Of course I do.”

\--

On the following Wednesday, they once again sat on Luisa’s bed watching _Dragnet_ on Luisa’s tiny TV. This time, they crammed in closer to one another than they had the week before. 

Luisa was close enough that Rose could smell Luisa’s shampoo and conditioner. She was very aware of everything about her—that Luisa used some kind of citrusy body wash, because every now and then, Rose caught a whiff of satsuma. The way her eyes crinkled up when she smiled, the cute little dimple on the left side of her chin. Everything about her was just adorable. 

Rose knew she was fixated and obsessed, and she was trying not to be, but she had never felt like this about anyone or anything, and she really didn’t know what to do with herself. Luisa just made her so nervous, which meant she should have wanted to stay away, but Rose just wanted to take any opportunity to be around her. 

What she wanted to do was just to go for it—make her move, shoot her shot. And maybe in some other circumstance, Rose liked to believe she would try. But Luisa was a goddamn kid, and that fact alone made her off limits. She also lived right across the hall—Rose saw her almost every day, even when they were both busy or in a rush, they chatted for a few minutes, at least. If she were rebuffed, it would just be so awkward, and Luisa had something going on with Allison anyway. Rose personally thought Luisa could do better, but Luisa seemed pretty into that Allison, so what could Rose do but just watch and be her friend? But more than anything else, Rose knew she just wasn’t brave enough to do anything about it.

\--

Wednesdays afternoon from 3:30pm-4:30pm watching _Dragnet_ reruns became their new tradition. Rose thanked whatever force in the universe it was that allowed their schedules to line up that way.

Erin happened to come home during the middle of one of the episodes and immediately groaned once she saw what they were watching.

“Ugh, not this show again,” Erin declared, her face wrinkling in disdain.

“Aw, come on,” Luisa said. “Give it a chance, join us.”

Rose wanted Erin to decline, but she made every attempt to keep that thought to herself. 

Erin waved her hand dismissively. “No thanks, I just came to pick this up,” she said, holding a textbook before leaving.

Luisa pouted. “How come no one wants to play with us?”

Rose patted Luisa’s arm. “They just aren’t as cool as us.”

Luisa grinned. “You got that right, lady,” she said in a fair imitation of Joe Friday.

Rose smiled back. “I know it, fella,” she replied, her imitation slightly better. 

\--

Wednesdays at 8pm, Luisa liked to go to a ballroom dance class that the Swing and Ballroom Dance Club hosted in one of the university gyms.

Luisa managed to wrangle quite a few people from the dorm to go with her.

It took a few weeks, but Luisa managed to wear Rose down. In truth, it was way out of her comfort zone. She’d wanted to agree right away when Luisa first asked because she wanted to spend more time with Luisa, but she had been too self-conscious. Luisa still persisted, and Rose finally just agreed because she just couldn’t say no to Luisa. 

It had the effect that they spent most of the day together on Wednesdays. They’d get home from class around 3:30pm, watch _Dragnet_ for an hour before they’d study from 4:30pm to 7:30pm when they would walk together to the gym, and then spend an hour together in the ballroom dance class. A lot of times there weren’t enough guys, so she’d pair up with Luisa, and Luisa would say, “lady, would you do a fella a favor and dance with me?” and Rose would fall crazier in love.

Luisa would always lead, claiming she was the fella. Rose could not say she loved ballroom dancing, but she loved doing it with Luisa. 

After ballroom dance, they’d walk back to the dorm, eat dinner together at the dining hall and then walk back to their rooms. Sometimes, they’d hang out again after dinner, and Rose always liked those nights best, but she had no idea how to turns those nights into a guarantee since it usually depended on Luisa’s whims and Rose just wasn’t brave enough to initiate. 

Rose had no idea what to do. She’d never liked someone so much that she wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. She was not particularly a social person, and she’d always vaguely suspected there was something wrong with her because she really didn’t care for people. She didn’t really care about them either. She had friends, of course—popularity had never been a problem for her, but she never experienced wanting to spend time with someone so badly before that it was actually kind of painful. 

It was driving her crazy.

\--

Since she saw so much of Luisa, she also saw quite a bit of Allison, although the couple usually elected to go off privately.

Her opinion of Allison only went down over time, but Rose continued to hold her tongue. She loathed the way Allison treated Luisa, but Rose didn’t think she could say anything. Not yet anyway. 

\--

By midterms, Luisa and Rose were comfortable enough around each other that they were curling up in Luisa’s bed to continue with their Wednesday tradition of watching _Dragnet_. Or rather, Luisa was comfortable enough to initiate it, and Rose just went along with it, because there was no way Rose could have initiated it. 

“Hey, lady,” Luisa said, poking Rose’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, fella?”

“I have a hankering for Cuban food. Let’s skip ballroom dance today, and go get Cuban food for dinner. I know a place.”

Jesus Christ, what did it mean that Luisa was asking her to dinner at some place other than the dining hall? What did it mean! This was going to be yet another thing that she obsessed about at night, and replay for days and weeks. Maybe even the rest of her life with the way things were going.

Rose agreed to it instantly. 

\--  
Dinner was family style, which apparently meant that Luisa would take half of Rose’s ropa vieja, and hand over half her Cubano sandwich to Rose, and then cajole Rose into splitting a plate of tostones and papa rellenas. Having shared quite a few meals with Luisa over the past few weeks, Rose knew that Luisa’s eyes were bigger than her stomach, but she just went along with it. 

When the check came, Rose had every intention of treating Luisa to dinner, but Luisa grabbed the check and handed her credit card over to the server so quickly, that Rose was still left wondering what just happened as the server walked away.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rose protested, flummoxed. “How much was my half?”

“I asked you,” Luisa said emphatically. “Of course I’ll pay.”

“But—”

“A fella always pays for a dinner, lady. Anyway, I asked you.”

Rose was pleasantly surprised that there was a live band that started playing a mixture of salsa and pop hits.

Neither of them knew how to dance salsa, and for a while, they were content to watch the other patrons who did. But then the band started to play a song, the opening bars to which Rose recognized, but couldn’t quite place.

Luisa’s eyes brightened, and she grabbed Rose’s hand.

“I love this song. Dance with me,” she urged, pulling Rose along.

Rose obliged and followed Luisa to the dance floor, swallowing as Luisa’s arms encircled her waist. Rose could only stare at Luisa who gazed back at her, smiling. This girl made Rose’s brain do somersaults. 

Rose then remembered this was a Beatles song, and once the band started singing, the lyrics came back to her. They danced for a few moments, Luisa humming the song under her breath. 

“In this world there’s nothing I would rather do,” Luisa started to sing along softly, “Cause I’m happy just to dance with you. Just to dance with you, is everything I need.”

Oh God, she even sang so pretty. Rose was going to die, she was just so charmed. What else could she do, but join in.

“Before this dance is through, I think I’ll love you too, I’m so happy when you dance with me,” Rose sang the next line.

Luisa grinned. “If somebody tries to take my place, let’s pretend we just can’t see his face.” 

Rose wasn’t sure what the hell was going on, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to ruin it by being her normal self. In this moment, she didn’t care how goofy she looked. “In this world there’s nothing I’d rather do, ‘cause I’m happy just to dance with you,” Rose sang, spinning Luisa around. 

Luisa giggled. “Just to dance with you, is everything I need, before this dance is through, I think I’ll love you too, I’m so happy when you dance with me.” 

“If somebody tries to take my place, let’s pretend we just can’t see his face,” Rose sang. 

“In this world there’s nothing I’d rather do, I discovered I’m in love with you.”

Impetuously Luisa grabbed Rose into a tight hug, and they held one another for a moment as they swayed and the song ended. Luisa nuzzled Rose’s neck. “We should do this once a month,” she whispered.

“Definitely.”

Rose thought she was definitely going to die. 

And she thought those ballroom dance classes had come in handy. 

\--

They stayed until they were sweaty and breathless, and could not stop giggling. 

They were still giggling as they returned to the dorm. Rose followed Luisa into her room where Erin was studying. 

“Hi guys,” she greeted. “Luisa, Allison came by earlier looking for you.”

The smile on Luisa’s face diminished. “Oh,” she said. “Okay. I’ll catch up with her tomorrow.”

Erin caught the way Luisa’s expression dimmed, and raised an eyebrow. “She seemed kind of upset,” she said neutrally. “Maybe catch up with her the day after tomorrow, and have her come over here. Like, we’ll all be here and depending on what time it is, maybe we can all go to lunch or dinner or whatever.”

Luisa shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ll find her tomorrow. I’ll call her later, thanks.”

“She was asking where you were.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her that I didn’t know because I really didn’t know.” 

Rose fought a smile, and Luisa laughed. “Okay, thanks.” 

Luisa turned her attention to Rose. “Thanks for coming with me.” She smiled. “I had a really good time.” 

Rose smiled. “Me too. Thank you for dinner.”  
\--

That night as tried to fall asleep, Rose just kept replaying the night in her head, and wondered what every interaction could possibly mean. She did this all the time when it came to Luisa. Was Luisa just being affectionate and friendly? She was definitely affectionate and friendly, so did she just pair off with other people like she did with Rose? Did she have some comparable Wednesday tradition with other people? Was she just trying to get back at Allison? Make Allison jealous? What did it mean that Luisa said they should do this once a month—did she mean just the two of them? Or did she mean in a group? Was this a test run for a larger group activity that Luisa was planning? Did Luisa sing at all her friends? Did it mean anything? Did Luisa treat all her friends to dinner? Did it mean anything that she insisted on paying? Her thoughts were swirling, overwhelming her. 

But she knew one thing for certain—she knew she wished tonight was a date, and she wished that Luisa would wish the same. But she doubted Luisa did. 

\--

After taking her last midterm, Luisa caught Allison cheating on her. 

Apparently there had been quite a few girls since the term began five weeks ago. 

Rather than going to a party to celebrate the end of midterms, Rose, Luisa, Kara and Erin stayed in, hanging out in Luisa and Erin’s dorm room in a pile on the ground, eating snacks and drinking Boone’s Farm. Erin had her computer on and was playing MP3s off her WinAmp program. 

Luisa never quite came out to Erin and Kara, but it became common knowledge that Luisa and Allison were a couple, and it was never a big deal. Rose kept her sexuality to herself. She knew everyone would be fine with it, but she also thought that she if told everyone that she was gay, everyone would immediately know how infatuated she was with Luisa, and Rose really needed to keep that to herself. There was few things more pathetic than unrequited love, but it was particularly pathetic when everyone knew you were in love with someone who didn’t love you back. 

Luisa wasn’t talking about Allison, and her mood wasn’t overtly dark, but she was definitely not herself and was much quieter than usual—focusing on drinking rather than being social. 

The others knew to avoid the topic directly and just focused on discussing the minutiae of the day. 

“I just think it is batty that I see the same people every day walking to and from class, and I probably see them more than I see people who actually live in this dorm, and like, I could recognize them anywhere, and they could recognize me anywhere, but it’s not like we’re friends. But like, we smile at each other, and sometimes when I don’t see someone I usually do, I get kind of worried about them, like, are they okay? And next quarter the whole thing will start all over again with a new crop of people, and like, after four years here, who knows how many people like that we’ll come across,” Kara said. “Will that ever happen again in our lives? I mean, if you’re commuting to work at the same time every day, you’ll probably be around the same cars all the time, but since you can’t see their faces, you’ll never know, unless they have a really memorable license plate or memorable car or whatever.”

Erin stared at her silently for a long moment. “Dude, not to be rude, but did you smoke something before we started drinking? Because you can’t possibly be drunk enough off these,” Erin held up a bottle of Boone’s Farm fuzzy navel, “to talk like that.”

Kara threw popcorn at her. “No! I’m just saying.”

Luisa and Rose laughed at the outraged expression on Kara’s face.

By the end of the night, they’d gone through 8 bottles of Boone’s Farm so-called wine, and put all the bottles into a black trash bag, giggling as the bottles clanked together. None of them were particularly drunk from the weak wine, but they all had a good buzz.

“I’ll throw it out tomorrow,” Luisa promised, stowing the bag under her desk, just in case the RA happened to come by.

Their night started to wind down as they could hear the other residents start to come home. They turned down the music, and Erin flopped face first onto her bed, pulling Kara down with her. “Come here,” Erin said, cuddling into her. “It’s late and dangerous and so far for you and Rose to walk. Rose, you sleep in Luisa’s bed with her.”

“We live across the hall, you psychopath,” Kara said, but she laughed and obliged.

Luisa pushed Rose onto her bed and onto her back and then laid down next to her, and wiggled into a good position. The motion making every synapse in Rose’s brain misfire. The bed was too small for them to comfortably lay on their backs side-by-side, so they each curled up on their sides, facing away from each other. 

“I don’t want you to go home yet?” Luisa asked sweetly.

BZERBITZERIT went Rose’s brain. She couldn’t find the words right away, so she just nodded.

“You can sleep here, we’ll have breakfast,” Luisa said.

“Okay,” Rose agreed softly.

Luisa and Rose were silent, but Kara and Erin were chatting quietly. Rose was glad that Luisa’s desk obscured her and Luisa from view 

At some point, whatever someone was trying to forget always came back to haunt them, and that moment seemed to come for Luisa as she was curled on her side, staring at her wall.

Quietly, Luisa began to sniffle, and Rose was aware that Luisa had begun to cry. Rose knew that Luisa was probably thinking about Allison who did not come up as a subject tonight even if her presence had definitely been in the room. 

Rose bit her lip. She couldn’t just let Luisa cry like this while they were back-to-back, so she shifted onto her other side and began to gently rub Luisa’s back in an effort to acknowledge that she did not want Luisa to be in pain. Luisa turned around so they were facing each other and pulled Rose into a tight hug, her forehead resting on one of Rose’s shoulders. Rose continued to rub Luisa’s back.

“It’ll be okay,” Rose whispered, because she had no idea what else to say.

Luisa didn’t say anything, but she held onto Rose until she fell asleep. 

\--

The next morning, they got up and got breakfast at the dining hall. Afterward, Luisa disappeared presumably to see Allison. Rose felt on edge the whole day and she went to bed disappointed when she didn’t get to see Luisa again.

\--

Whatever happened between Luisa and Allison, it wasn’t over because she was still around. Whether she was a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend, she was still wildly unlikable.  
\--

Even if Allison and Luisa were still together, Rose got Luisa on Wednesdays. No matter how busy they got, Wednesday afternoons were devoted to _Dragnet_ and studying, and then ballroom dancing. 

But just as Luisa promised, one Wednesday a month was devoted to Rose and the Cuban restaurant she had come to think of as theirs. 

One particular night, the band started playing Dolly Parton’s ‘You’re the Only One,’ and Luisa shrieked. “Come on,” she demanded dragging Rose toward the dancefloor while Rose had a mouthful of a ham croquette. Rose swallowed hastily, almost choking on it as she allowed herself to be pulled by the hurricane known as Luisa.

“You’re the only one, you’re the only one, take me back to where we started from,” Luisa sang along. “This is one of my favorite songs,” Luisa informed.

It was one of Rose’s favorites, too. “And let’s make it now, like we made it then, this ol’ heart ain’t gonna break your heart again,” Rose sang.

“You’re a good singer,” Luisa said, resting her cheek on Rose’s shoulder. “You know what we should do? Karaoke. You, me, Kara and Erin, and maybe anyone else who wants to come along.”

Rose could not think of anything she wanted to do less than karaoke, but suddenly, it sounded very appealing if Luisa was going to be there. “Yeah,” Rose said, “sounds fun.”

“But this will always just be us,” Luisa said. 

Rose swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

Luisa was pressed up so closely against her, her arms around Rose’s waist, and Rose just shut her eyes and let herself enjoy this because she knew it wasn’t going to last much longer.

The song was over and Luisa pulled Rose back to their table so their food wouldn’t get cold. 

The food somehow tasted better when Rose resumed eating.

When they finished eating, the server brought the check and Luisa reached for it.

“No!” Rose said, “let me get this this time.”

“No, thank you.” Luisa said sweetly, handing her credit card to the server.

“Luisa!”

Luisa shrugged. 

“Come on!”

Luisa smiled. “I told you. I’m the fella, and you’re my lady,” she said. “Of course I’m going to pay.”

Rose had no clue how to respond to that.

The server brought back the check, and said something in Spanish to Luisa that Rose could only half-understand. Something about Thursdays and Saturdays being better nights for music and dancing. Luisa thanked her, but didn’t comment any further.

“Would you rather do this on Thursdays?” Rose asked, because she knew Luisa was social and enjoyed people watching, too. Luisa really seemed to thrive in those types of situations. 

“No,” Luisa said. “I like our Wednesdays just fine.”

\--

Midterms came and went, but the problem with the quarter system was that as soon as midterms were over, it was practically time for finals again. Finals meant the quarter was coming to an end and that Christmas was coming. 

Rose was not a fan of Christmas, and was not looking forward to it. Christmas always meant her parents argued over the time she spent with each of them. She actually hated every major holiday because of it. Her parents had a bitter divorce when she was five, followed up with a bitter custody battle. She’d known for years that both her parents were assholes to each other. They were both fine with her, but they were just awful to one another and if either had been willing to compromise even a little, her life would have been a lot easier.

She was glad she had turned 18 over the summer so that her parents could finally stop dragging each other to court over her. Her parents’ battles in court had been so contentious, she’d been appointed a guardian ad litem, and she was glad that part of her life was finally over. She didn’t understand why they hated each other so much, both had remarried years ago, and therefore, presumably moved on, so why did they have to keeping making it so hard? She knew she was going to have to put up with it for the rest of her life, but at least court was over. 

Thanksgiving had been a disaster that she still hadn’t put behind her, and she wasn’t looking forward to Christmas. 

If it were up to her, she’d just stay in the dorm the whole winter break, but the dorm was closing and both her parents would give her hell if she tried. She was putting off going home as long as possible.

She, Rose, Erin and Kara had participated in a Secret Santa. She’d gotten Erin, who was extremely easy to shop for because she preferred gift cards. She got small gifts for Kara and Lisa as well, and she realized that everyone had done the same—purchased gifts for everyone. 

She hated Christmas, but she was trying not to show it because Luisa had spearheaded a movement to decorate the entire dorm as a Winter Wonderland, so it was obvious Luisa _loved_ Christmas. That was no surprise. Rose that it was fitting that a Grinch like her would be crushing so hard on a girl who loved Christmas that much. 

She’d found the Dolly Parton Pez dispenser and knew that she had to buy it. Luisa squealed when she opened it and clutched it to her chest. She also immediately ate the Pez candy and demanded the others try it at as well. It tasted like chalk, but all Rose could think was that there were worse things she could put in her mouth for love. 

Luisa had gotten her a mug with Joe Friday’s face emblazoned on it. Rose couldn’t stop laughing when she saw it. The show was ridiculous, but it had truly brought them closer together. Wednesdays were always the highlight of her week. 

“So you’ll always remember you’re my lady, and I’m your fella,” Luisa said with a smile. 

\--

She and Luisa were the last ones in the dorm, at least on their floor. They were both leaving Sunday morning, but most of the other residents had trickled out throughout the week as they finished finals.

They were hanging out in Rose’s room on Saturday and Rose had a hankering for pho, not that the weather got particularly chilly in Florida, but the nights bordered just on cool enough for hot soup. Luisa suggested to go to Miss Saigon’s. Rose agreed readily agreed, but when they got there, Rose was dismayed by how crowded it was.

“How many? Two?” the host asked.

“Yes,” Luisa said. “But we’re just going to get take-out, could we see some menus, please?”

The host handed two menus over and turned to the next patron.

“You don’t want to eat here?” Rose asked.

“I don’t care,” Luisa said. “But I know you don’t like it when places are really crowded, so I thought you might like to just take it back to the dorm.”

Rose couldn’t fight the smile. “I actually would prefer that,” she said, touched by Luisa’s thoughtfulness. “Thank you.”

\--

Since their dorm floor was practically empty, they ate side by side in the communal living room.

“Are you looking forward to Christmas?” Luisa asked. 

Rose sighed. 

Luisa looked like she was trying to fight a smile. “Rose, are you a _Grinch_?” she asked.

Rose laughed. “A little,” she admitted. She sighed. “My parents are divorced, and it was ugly. Thanksgiving was a disaster, and I’m not looking forward to Christmas. The only good thing about this year is that I turned 18 over the summer, so it’s the first year in a long time that my parents aren’t throwing the custody orders in each other’s faces.” 

Luisa bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like a Grinch. That must be so hard. What happened over Thanksgiving? I had no idea it was bad, you never said anything…”

Rose sighed again and shook her head at the memory. “I mean, it’s always the same. The meal always takes longer to cook than people think, and I spent the morning and afternoon at my dad’s. We ate at like, 4, even though we were supposed to eat at 2. By the time I got to my mom’s, everyone was mad that they had to wait so long for me. My mom called my dad, they yelled at each other, so then my stepmom was mad, and then my stepdad was mad, and my step siblings were mad. I am literally the redheaded stepchild.” Rose sighed. “And I have to do it all again on Christmas Eve and Christmas.”

“I’m sorry,” Luisa said softly. She reached out and squeezed Rose’s arm. “That is awful, and you shouldn’t be in that position.”

Rose smiled wryly. “Thanks. Thanks for letting me vent…what are your Christmas plans going to be?”

Luisa shrugged. “I’m not sure. My dad travels a lot, and it’s a crapshoot with him. Sometimes he’s around and sometimes he’s not. Raf and I always spend the day together though. I’m going to take him to see Santa tomorrow once I get home.”

“What about your mom?”

Luisa’s eyes were sad. “My mom died,” she said softly.

‘Shit,’ Rose thought. Her hand reached out. “Luisa, I’m so sor—”

“It’s okay,” Luisa said, putting her hand out and grasping Rose’s hand. 

Rose swallowed hard as their fingers intertwined. Girls held hands all the time, but this felt so different. 

“It was a long time ago,” she said. “Anyway, my dad is between wives at the moment,” she cracked a small smile. “He’s gone through four wives since my mom died when I was six. If my dad is around, we’ll have dinner and open presents, but we don’t have any significant traditions. I always take Rafael shopping for Dad’s present, but this year, his nanny took him. I’ll still take him to see Santa though.”

Rose felt awful for bringing up the subject of Luisa’s mother because even if Luisa didn’t give any outward indication of being upset, Rose just sensed that Luisa wasn’t really okay. But Rose didn’t want to push things, so Rose decided just to shut up.

They turned on the dorm TV and watched _Home Alone_ while they finished eating, but as much as Rose wanted to spend a little more time with Luisa, they eventually had to call it a night. 

That night while Rose tried to sleep, she thought about the time the server at their restaurant told the best nights for music and dancing were Thursdays and Saturdays, but that Luisa had told her that it was okay. Rose wondered if that was because Luisa knew that Rose would like it more if it was less crowded. She wondered if it meant anything that Luisa was so thoughtful, or if Luisa was just a thoughtful person. Rose had a hard time sleeping—her body buzzed with excess energy. Was this what it felt like to be Luisa? Is that why she always seemed to be in movement? Rose itched to get out of bed and walk just a few feet across the hall to where Luisa was sleeping. 

So close, yet so far. 

\--

Luisa came by Sunday morning before she left. “I just wanted to say bye,” Luisa said, peering up at Rose. “And, um, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I’ll see you next year.” Luisa handed Rose the gift she was holding. “It’s um, really small. But um… here,” she said. 

Rose took it. “But you already got me something!”

“I know, but I was just…well, just…yeah.”

“Hold on,” Rose said. “I have something else for you, too.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to—”

“Just take it, fella,” Rose teased. She left the door open and Luisa stepped inside. Rose went to her desk and picked up the gift bag and brought it to Luisa. “Merry Christmas.”

Luisa swallowed visibly and accepted the gift before pulling Rose into a hug. “Thanks, lady,” she said. “Um, should we open them?”

“Sure,” Rose said.

“You first.”

Rose opened the gift bag and pulled out a box which contained a snow globe. Rose peered at it. The house in the snow globe looked very familiar. It looked just like the Von Trapp house. “Wait, is this from _The Sound of Music_?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Luisa said. “I remember when we had to do those ice breaker exercises when we all first moved into the dorm that you said that _The Sound of Music_ was your favorite movie. I know you said you were just kidding, and that it was actually _Speed_ , but I got the feeling that _The Sound of Music_ was actually your favorite movie.”

Rose laughed. “Yeah, it actually is,” she admitted. The truth was that her parents had watched _The Sound of Music_ with her pre-divorce, and it had been one of the better days of her life. She pulled the snow globe out of the box and admired it for a moment, before shaking it. The movie always reminded her of a time in her life that was much simpler. She shook the snow globe again, covering the Von Trapp home in snow. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Luisa.”

Luisa beamed at her. “Do you really like it?”

“I love it.” Rose set it on her desk for safe keeping. “Uh, your turn.”

Luisa pulled the gift out and grinned. “Wait. You got me a _snow globe_?”

Rose laughed. “Well, it’s more of an ornament that doubles as a snow globe, but yeah. Crazy, huh?”

Luisa grinned. “I love _A Charlie Brown Christmas_ ,” she said. “Raf and I watch it every year.”

Rose cracked a small smile. “I had a feeling you liked it.”

“You got me pegged, and I guess I kinda like it,” Luisa admitted. She smiled. “I’m going to take it home and show Rafael.” Luisa reached for Rose and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured. She took a few steps back. “Call me if you get bored or whatever. I’ll see you next year.”

“You too,” Rose said softly.

And then Luisa was gone.

\--

Rose spent the morning and part of the afternoon of Christmas Eve with her mother, stepfather and her three terrible stepsisters, bemoaning her fate as the literal redheaded stepchild. She spent the afternoon and evening of Christmas Eve with her father, stepmother and two terrible stepbrothers, once again bemoaning her fate as the literal redheaded step child. On top of being the redheaded stepchild, she was younger than her stepsisters, Sarah and Connie, but older than her stepsister, Alicia. She was also older than her stepbrother, Justin, but younger than her stepbrother Martin, so she had to be a redheaded _middle_ stepchild. 

She stayed the night at her father’s to spend Christmas morning and part of the afternoon with his family before going back to her mother’s to spend the rest of Christmas there. She couldn’t help but pick up on everyone’s annoyance that family activities had to keep being delayed for her. She didn’t even care about any of it, but her parents were the ones that made it into a bigger ordeal than necessary. Rose hoped one day she’d have her own drama-free Christmas tradition. 

She wished she could have stayed at the dorms.

She wondered what Luisa was doing. She was tempted to call, but she didn’t. She just felt like it would be awkward, even if talking to Luisa would have been the highlight of her holiday.

As the days passed, Rose was still incapable of making the call first, so she just waited and hoped Luisa would call.

And then she actually did! 

It was the 30th of December and Luisa called after 9pm because that was when the minutes were free. 

Rose lit up when her cell phone rang and Luisa’s name was on the caller ID.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” Luisa greeted, sounding as chipper as always. “How was your Christmas?”

Rose didn’t feel like getting into it. “It was okay, but I’m glad it’s over. You?”

“Same,” Luisa sighed. “But it’s good to talk to you. I’ve missed you.”

Rose felt her heart skip a beat. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“What am I going to do to go three weeks without watching _Dragnet_ with you?” 

Rose laughed, “I’m sure you can survive without _Dragnet_ , Luisa.”

“I was talking about you.”

“Oh.”

“Hold on,” Luisa said. Even though it was muffled, Rose could hear Luisa speaking. “Raf, I’m on the phone, I’ll come find you in a little bit, okay?”

Rose could hear a little boy respond. 

“But I want you to sing it to me now.” 

“Raf, come on.”

“Please, Luisa?”

“Rafael!”

“Please!”

Rose bit her lip in amusement. This was hilarious.

“Ugh, fine!” Luisa said. “Skinnamarinky dinky dink, skinnamarinky doo, I love you. I love you in the morning—” 

“You’re not doing the dance!”

“Raf!”

“Come on!”

“Raf!” Luisa exclaimed. “Ugh.” Luisa was suddenly back. “Rose, let me call you back”

“Sure,” Rose said with a laugh, though she actually wanted to hear Luisa sing ‘Skinnamarink.’ “I saw Sharon, Lois and Bram live when I was a kid. I think I cried.”

“I don’t know if you’re mocking me, but we can talk about it in a few.”

\--

Luisa called back about an hour later. Rose had been waiting.

“Hey,” Luisa said. “I wasn’t sure I should call because it’s getting kind of late, but…”

“I’m glad you called,” Rose said. 

“Okay, cool,” Luisa said, sounding relieved.

“Your little brother is so cute,” Rose said.

Luisa snorted. “Not really,” she said, but the fondness in her voice was unmistakable. “Do you have any big New Year’s Eve plans?”

“No,” Rose said. She’d had a few invitations, but in a rare event, everyone at her mother and father’s houses had plans, which meant she could not only be alone, but she could be left alone. There was no way she was going to pass up being alone at home to go out all night. “You?”

“No,” Luisa said. “There’s obviously a big event at the hotel, but my dad had to take a trip to Croatia on Christmas morning, and he won’t be back until after I go back to school, so I’m going to stay with Rafael.”

“Hotel?”

“Oh, I don’t think I ever told you, but my dad owns the Maracay Group hotels, so we just live at the Maracay.”

Rose knew that Luisa lived in Key West, but she did not know she lived in a hotel. Or that Luisa’s father owned that particular chain. “You live in a hotel? Like Eloise from the book?”

“I’ve never actually read the book,” Luisa said. 

“How does that work?”

“Rafael and I share a suite, and my dad has his own suite on the same floor.”

“Wow,” Rose said, “was it always like that?”

“For as long as I can remember, yeah. Um…if you don’t have plans, do you want to come here and hang out?” Luisa asked. “You can stay with me and Rafael in our suite, or I can get you your own room.”

“Really?” Rose asked. “But don’t you maybe want to spend it with Allison since you’re both home?”

“Ehhh…” Luisa sounded evasive. “It’s actually a lot harder to see her when we are home than when we’re at school. I can get a driver to pick you up—you’re only about an hour away. You’re in Marathon, right?”

“Yeah,” Rose said, and she started to feel excited at the prospect of spending the holiday with Luisa. “You really want me to come?”

“Of course I do, I love spending time with you.”

They quickly made plans, and Rose went to sleep that night, giddy. She’d rather be alone than spend the holiday with her family or her friends from home, but she would _definitely_ rather be with Luisa than alone.  
\--

The next afternoon, a black town car pulled up in front of Rose’s mother’s house. Rose picked up her bag, yelled out a goodbye, and walked out of the front door. She stumbled slightly when she saw Luisa get out of the backseat, walk toward her, and gently take Rose’s overnight bag from her hands.

“I thought it might be awkward for you to have to ride in the back with a stranger for, like, an hour. So here I am,” Luisa said. She pulled Rose into a hug. 

“Thank you,” Rose said sincerely. She actually _had_ been dreading spending an hour in a car with a total stranger. 

\--

The ride to the hotel was uneventful, but Rose felt anxious and giddy. She willed herself not to bounce her leg up and down, and she ended up talking with her hands a lot more than normal. 

When they pulled up to the hotel, Rose just had to admire it for a moment. 

It was truly a beautiful hotel. 

Luisa carried her bag up to her suite despite Rose’s protests.

The suite was beautiful, but lacking in anything truly personal. It was, indeed, a hotel suite. Even Luisa’s room looked like something out of a magazine, although it was more personal than the rest of the suite because of the pictures Luisa had scattered throughout the room. 

Luisa set Rose’s bag down. “Do you want to meet my brother? Or do you want to unpack?”

“I would love to meet Rafael.”

Luisa grinned and linked their arms together. “Come on.” They walked out of Luisa’s room towards Rafael’s room. “Rafael, I’m coming in!” she bellowed as she opened Rafael’s door.

Rafael’s bedroom was a mess—toys and clothes everywhere. Rafael was sitting on the floor playing with Spiderman and Superman action figures.

“Hi Luisa!”

“Rafael, I want you to meet my friend, Rose,” Luisa said. “She’s going to hang out with us tonight and tomorrow.”

“Hi Rose!”

“Hi Rafael,” Rose said, getting onto her knees next to Rafael. “Who do you think would win in a fight? Spiderman or Superman?”

Rafael looked at her like she was crazy. “Of course Superman would. Superman is an alien from Krypton. Spiderman has powers, but not like Superman.”

“Who do you think would win in a fight, Batman or Spiderman?”

Rafael looked contemplative. “Batman,” he said after a moment. “Who do you think would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?”

“Superman,” Rose said. “Superman is an alien from Krypton,” she said, repeating Rafael’s earlier words. “Batman doesn’t even really have powers. He just has cool gadgets.”

Rafael pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah, me too,” he said. “Who do you think would win in a fight, a grizzly bear or a gorilla?”

“Oh geez, Raf,” Luisa laughed. “Clean up your room, okay? Then we’ll get ice cream.”

“Okay!”

Rose and Luisa left the room, and Luisa gazed at Rose with unconcealed affection. “You were good with him.”

“He’s cute,” Rose said with a smile. “So who _do_ you think would win in a fight? A grizzly bear or a gorilla?”

“How is that even a question?” Luisa asked. “Of course it’s the grizzly bear.”

Rose privately agreed, but she couldn’t help antagonize Luisa a little, because when Luisa got outraged over something inconsequential, she did this adorably hilarious arm flap that was truly endearing.

“I don’t know,” Rose said, biting back a smile. “I think the gorilla has a good chance.”

“What?!” Luisa demanded.

There went the arm flap.

“I like gorillas,” Rose said with a shrug. “They are very human-like, but better because they aren’t people.”

“That is not a good enough reason, my little misanthrope. Gorillas only have their bite and their strength going for them in a fight with a grizzly bear. A grizzly has those incredible claws in addition to their bite and their strength!”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought, huh?”

“Yes! Say I’m right.”

The girl just loved to be right. 

“But you asked me what I thought, and I told you. Now you are asking me to say you’re right?” Rose was trying to hold back her laughter. She really enjoyed riling Luisa up like this. 

“Yes!” Luisa said, flapping her arms hilariously once again.

Rose burst into laughter. “Okay,” she admitted, she had her fill of antagonizing Luisa. “You’re right.”

Luisa gave her a big grin. “Was that so hard? I love being right.”

She sure did. 

Rose smiled back. “Okay,” she agreed. “You can always be right.”

Once Rafael finished tidying up his room, Luisa took Rafael and Rose to get ice cream. Rose thought that Luisa would just get the driver to take them, but she was surprised when Luisa said she would be driving, and even more surprised when she saw Luisa’s car. Freshman at their school weren’t allowed to bring their cars because of the lack of parking on campus, so they’d never really taken a drive before. 

Luisa drove a 1964 Studebaker that apparently had belonged to her grandfather, and then her father. It had definitely seen better days.

“We call it the Crap Bucket,” Rafael supplied helpfully.

“Raf! Don’t use that word.”

“Bucket?”

“You know the word I mean,” Luisa said, eyes narrow.

“The?”

Luisa sighed. “Rafael,” she warned, and there went the arm flap.

“It?”

“Raf!”

“Okay, okay, Luisa. Geez.”

Rose bit back a smile. Rafael apparently also liked to antagonize his sister.

“It’s a crap bucket,” Luisa said. “But I love it.”

Rose got into the front seat. Rafael got into the back. Luisa turned around in the driver’s seat. “Rafael, is your seatbelt on?”

“Yes!”

“Rose?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good.” Luisa said.

The drive was only about ten minutes, but Rose wanted to kiss the ground when they got to their destination. Luisa was a terrible driver, and was bad at parking. Rafael seemed unruffled, clearly accustomed to it. Rose had to uncurl her fingers from her thighs. She finally found a single flaw in this girl.

Rafael ran ahead into the ice cream shop.

“So, when Rafael is old enough to drive, who is going to teach him?” Rose asked out of both concern and curiosity. She really hoped Luisa was not going to be the one to teach him. 

“My dad will probably hire a driving school. Why?”

“No reason, just asking. The same one that taught you?”

“No, I think they went out of business. It was kind of weird.”

Not that weird. 

Rose nodded. That was good all around. They reached the entrance, and she held the door open for Luisa.

Luisa looked at her suspiciously as she entered. “What?”

“Nothing,” Rose said innocently. “I was just thinking about what I was going to get. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Vanilla, but they have a coffee with cream and sugar flavor here that I love.”

Rafael was already waiting in line, and they joined him. Luisa ruffled his hair. “Raf, you want chocolate chocolate cake?”

“Yes, please.

“Okay. Rose?”

Rose looked up at the menu. This wasn’t an ice cream shop with the regular flavors. “I want to try the sweet cream biscuit with peach jam” she decided.

Once they got their ice creams, they sat in a line on one of the benches outside, everyone just enjoying their ice cream for a moment. 

“Wow,” Rose said. “This is really good. How is yours?”

“It’s good,” Luisa said. “If you really like it, we can buy a couple pints, and you can take some home. I have a little cooler we can use.”

“Maybe,” Rose said. “If I do get some, will you share some with me tonight?”

“Yes, sure,” Luisa said. Luisa passed Rose her cup. “Do you want to try it?”

“Sure,” Rose said, taking a spoonful, “Do you want to try mine?” she asked, passing Luisa her cup. 

“Yes, thanks,” Luisa said, trying it. “It’s really good. We should definitely get some to share tonight.”

Rafael shoved his cone close to Rose’s face. “Do you want to try mine?”

“Oh, it’s okay, Rafael, you can have it to yourself,” Rose said kindly. “Do you want to try mine?” she asked.

Luisa handed her spoon to Rafael. “Take a small bite,” she said. “Not one of your little horsey bites.”

Rafael rolled his eyes, but took the spoon and took a small bite of Rose’s ice cream before passing the spoon back to Luisa. “It’s good,” he said. “But Luisa, aren’t you allergic to peaches?”

Rose looked at Luisa, alarmed. “You’re allergic to peaches?”

Luisa waved her hand dismissively, although her face was suddenly a dark red. “It’s a really mild allergy. I’m fine.”

Rose bit her lip, worried. “Uh, not to alarm you, but your face is really red. Are you sure you’re not having a reaction.”

Luisa got even redder. “I’m not… really. It’s okay. It’s really mild.”

“Are you sure?” Rose looked at Luisa intently 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really,” she insisted. “I eat peaches all the time. This was nothing.”

Rose felt uncertain, but she let it go. Luisa’s face did go back to its normal color shortly after that. Rose didn’t feel like buying the ice cream in a pint after discovering Luisa was allergic to peaches, but she’d had her fill, so it was okay.

On their way back to the car, Rose saw Luisa pinch Rafael on the arm, which made Rafael cry until Luisa hastily pulled a Twix mini out of her purse and pass it to him. Rose’s lips quirked into a smile. She didn’t have a relationship like that with her stepsiblings, so it was nice to see Luisa have a good relationship with her brother.  
\--

When they got to the hotel, there was organized chaos as the General Manager oversaw the set-up for the New Year’s Eve event.

Luisa, Rose and Rafael bypassed all that as they entered the elevator to go up to the suite.

Rafael followed Luisa and Rose into Luisa’s bedroom and immediately threw himself on the bed. Luisa turned on her stereo and put on some music. Rose half-expected Dolly Parton, but it was Squeeze. Rose looked around the room and saw the small Christmas tree on Luisa’s desk. Peering closely, Rose smiled when she saw that the Charlie Brown snow globe ornament was on Luisa’s little tree.

Luisa and Rose sat on the settee and watched Rafael make a mess of Luisa’s bed which had been made before Rafael tossed himself on it. 

“So I know we have a couple more hours, but Rafael and I usually just have room service bring up our dinner,” Luisa explained. “But if you want, we can eat in the dining room.”

“Room service would be great.”

Luisa smiled. “Great.”

\--

After dinner, Luisa, Rose and Rafael watched the Dick Clark New Year’s Eve special in the living room. Rafael fell asleep around 10:30pm, and Luisa excused herself to pick him up and take him to his room.

“For a little shrimp, he is so heavy, I think this is probably going to be one of the last times I can do that,” Luisa commented.

“Maybe it’s all the sugar he had today,” Rose joked

Luisa smiled. “Maybe.”

Earlier in the afternoon, Luisa pilfered a couple bottles of champagne, which she now uncorked and poured into glasses. She handed Rose a glass. 

“Thanks,” Rose said. 

“Thank you for coming here,” Luisa said. “This is way more fun than I thought I would have tonight.”

“Me too,” Rose said. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Luisa gave her a small smile. “Cheers,” she said. She held out her glass.

Rose clinked her glass against Luisa’s. “Cheers.”

\--

It was already 11:30pm when Rose finally remembered that one of the traditions for New Year’s Eve was the New Year’s kiss. She’d never had a New Year’s Eve kiss before, and never thought much about it. But now, together with the girl she had been crushing on for so many months, a kiss was all she could think about. 

Rose knew it could never happen—Luisa was with someone else, even if they could not be together at this very moment and Rose thought given a choice between her and Allison to spend tonight with, Luisa would have chosen Allison. She was just a second choice, an afterthought. The thought made her sad even as she cuddled up with Luisa to count down to the New Year. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about Luisa’s lips. She got so flustered, she gulped down an entire glass of champagne and then refilled her glass and gulped down another glass. She and Luisa were already on their second bottle of champagne, and she felt overheated and woozy. Luisa seemed fine, and Rose wondered how much of this was just all in her head—Luisa didn’t seem like she was flustered or anxious. She seemed like she always was, but Rose was a mess of feelings. 

At 11:50pm, Rafael woke up and padded back into the living room. Luisa gestured to him, and he quickly scrambled to the couch and snuggled between Luisa and Rose.

“Ten!”

“Nine!”

“Eight!”

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!”

“Four!”

“Three!

“Two!”

“One! Happy New Year!”

As ‘Auld Lang Syne’ played on TV, Rose and Luisa each kissed one of Rafael’s cheeks. This was as close to a New Year’s kiss she was going to get tonight. 

“Ugh,” Rafael said, wiping at his face. “I’m going to bed.”

Rose and Luisa watched Rafael leave and giggled. 

Luisa turned to Rose. “Happy New Year, Rose.”

“Happy New Year, Luisa.”

They stared at one another for a long moment. Rose was terrified--Luisa was just so close. Something in the air just felt different, and it happened very suddenly. 

Luisa swallowed hard and reached for Rose’s hand, squeezing it. She gave Rose a little smile. “You know, it’s Wednesday now,” she said. “I know that you’re going home later, but why don’t you stay until we watch _Dragnet_?”

Rose laughed. “Okay.”

And just as quickly, whatever formed in the air between them, dissipated.  
\--

At some point in the night, they had obviously gone to bed, but Rose wasn’t exactly sure because Luisa had popped open a third bottle of champagne, so they had more passed out than gone to sleep. Rose woke up at 7am with Luisa snuggled up to her. Although Luisa had a king-size bed, when Rose woke up, Luisa’s body was pressed up against hers. Rose kept her eyes closed and just let herself believe for a moment she had everything she wanted.

The fantasy did not last long because her bladder was pleading with her to get out of bed, although Rose was pleading back to just give her a little longer. 

When she could not take it anymore, Rose got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She decided she might as well wash her face and brush her teeth, and when she got back, Luisa was already awake and stretching in bed. 

“Hi,” Luisa said, seeing Rose and smiling.

“Hi,” Rose said.

“How did you sleep?”

“Great,” Rose said. “Your bed is amazing. I don’t know how you went from this to the dorm.”

Luisa smiled. “The dorm has you right across the hall. This bed can’t compare.”

Rose floundered for a response, but couldn’t manage to make one. It didn’t matter though because Luisa got out of bed and went to the bathroom, shutting it behind her.

Rose flopped face first into the bed she’d shared with Luisa and screamed into a pillow. It smelled like Luisa, and Rose screamed again. 

\--

Rose ate breakfast in bed with Rafael and Luisa, but afterward, Rafael went to his room to watch a movie with the children of some of the employees who were stuck working on New Year’s Day with no child care, so Rose was left alone with Luisa again. 

Luisa had music playing on her stereo, and they laid across one another in Luisa’s bed listening to music, not talking. 

Luisa hummed softly along to nearly all the songs, and Rose lay there with her eyes closed, comfortable. She thought this was as close to perfect New Year’s Day as she ever had.

\--

The rest of the day went by too quickly-- they lounged around until lunch, swam in the hotel’s pool, and after they were showered, Luisa showed Rose around the rest of the hotel. 

“This is one of the reception halls,” Luisa said. “A lot of weddings are booked here.” Luisa pulled Rose into the room and shut the door. 

Luisa pulled a small remote from her pants pocket. “I thought since it was Wednesday, we should keep a little bit of routine,” she said. She pressed a button, and music began to play. It sounded a bit like Danny Kaye’s ‘Inchworm,’ which they used quite a bit in their ballroom dance class. 

“All right,” Rose said. “But let me lead for once, will ya, fella?” she asked. “I outweigh you.” 

It was easier for her to lead since she was taller and outweighed Luisa, so when Luisa leaned back as they danced, it created a better balance point. Rose had been trying to point this out for weeks, but Luisa was obstinate. 

“All right, lady, since you’re my guest.”

Rose held out her hand, which Luisa took. Rose’s hand went to Luisa’s back while Luisa’s hand rested Rose’s shoulder and they began to waltz. Rose was really supposed to be keeping her eyes on her surroundings to make sure she wasn’t going to lead them into any people or walls, but the space was so vast and they were alone, so there really was no danger of that. Rose couldn’t keep her eyes off Luisa’s face, and Luisa’s gaze was so intense, Rose just couldn’t look away until it started to snow. 

Rose looked up. “Wait, is it snowing?”

“It’s the fake snow from the party last night,” Luisa said. “I put it on a timer. My dad’s GM said I could do it as long as I cleaned it up.”

“This is amazing,” Rose said softly as the snow fell all around them. 

Luisa grinned at her. “I’m just glad you liked it.”

\--

Contrary to popular songs that talked about how a person could have danced all night, Rose definitely could not have danced all night, so when the music stopped after a few songs, Rose was honestly relieved.

Luisa glanced at her watch. “So, I have to clean up—”

“I’ll help you,” Rose said instantly. 

“No, it’s okay,” Luisa said. “I can do it.”

“But this place is huge!”

“No, really, it’s okay,” Luisa insisted. “Anyway, I thought maybe after swimming and dancing today, you might want a massage, so I booked you a session with one of the masseuses. Karina is amazing, truly, and she’ll massage you in my room. I’ll stay here and clean up, and Raf is watching a movie, so you’ll have privacy.”

Rose had never had a massage before, at least, not a real one. She didn’t like people, and she didn’t like people touching her, but this was something nice and thoughtful Luisa had done for her, and she couldn’t say no. Rose bit her lip. “Okay.”

“Just enjoy it,” Luisa encouraged. “By the time your massage is done, I’ll be done cleaning up, and then we can watch _Dragnet_.”

Luisa was a hurricane, and in a hurricane, you had to go with the wind.

“Okay.”

\--

The first few minutes of the massage were incredibly awkward—Rose had no idea what to do, but Karina the masseuse assured her to just undress to her comfort level and Rose just went along.

The massage itself was amazing, and Rose knew she must have fallen asleep at some point, because in no time at all, the massage was done, her skin was soft and she felt incredibly relaxed. She had no idea how much tension she’d been carrying in her shoulders until she felt them relaxed.

Then she remembered she had no idea what to do now. Did she pay? Did she tip?

Karina saw the look on Rose’s face, and laughed. “Ms. Alver handled everything,” she assured. “Have a good rest of your day now. Happy New Year” she said, as she packed up her equipment, and leaving Rose in a fluffy white robe.

Luisa entered the bedroom a few minutes later. “Um, are you decent?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Rose said. “Luisa, thank you. That was incredible.”

Luisa smiled. “Karina is a really good masseuse. Finish getting dressed and we’ll watch _Dragnet_ and catch up with ol’ Joe Friday and Bill Gannon.”

“Okay,” Rose said. “Here? Or in the living room?”

“Let’s hang here,” Luisa said, 

“Okay.” Rose went into the bathroom and came out wearing her pajamas. She joined Luisa on the bed. 

The episode already started. Watching TV on Luisa’s huge bed on the large screen TV in her bedroom was world’s away from watching TV on Luisa’s twin-sized dorm bed her tiny TV, but somehow, it just couldn’t compare. Maybe because Luisa was just too far away.

\--

Rose had initially planned on going home at 4:30pm, after _Dragnet_ , but she wasn’t quite ready to leave, and Luisa didn’t seem quite ready to have her go either. Rose called her mom to let her know she would be coming home later than anticipated, and she was glad it went to the answering machine so she could leave a message. 

She had an early dinner with Luisa, just the two of them, and they watched a few episodes of _The Twilight Zone_ marathon before they both knew they had to call quits. 

Luisa carried Rose’s bag to the awaiting town car. “I’ll go with you,” Luisa said.

Rose smiled. “No, it’s okay,” she said. She would love Luisa to accompany her, but she didn’t want Luisa to have to waste an hour just to ride with her, and then waste an hour just to come back here. “I don’t want you to waste your time,” she said. She pulled Luisa into a hug. “Happy New Year, Luisa,” she said softly. “Thank you for an amazing day.”

Luisa held onto her. “Spending time with you could never be a waste,” she murmured. “I’ll go with you.”

But if Luisa came with her, it would mean Rose would have to watch Luisa leave which would be much harder for her now after these incredible two days. No, Rose would have to be the one to go. It was already too tempting to be around Luisa. 

Rose discreetly sniffed Luisa’s hair. “Take a break,” she said. “I know cleaning that huge room must have been tiring, and you wouldn’t even let me help,” she scolded. “Take a rest. I’ll feel bad if you come with me.”

Luisa squeezed her. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll see you when we get back to school. Thanks for making my New Year’s so great.”

“Thank _you_ ,” Rose said. She gave Luisa one final squeeze before she got into the backseat of the awaiting car.

Once the door shut, she heaved a huge sigh and stared at Luisa as the car drove away. She shut her eyes, leaned back in the seat and thought about every second of the last two days. 

This had done nothing to curb her crush. If anything, she’d fallen deeper in love. She thought about the fake snow falling and how that was as close to magical and cinematic as anything she’d ever experienced in her life. Why couldn’t she just have what she wanted?

Her holiday with Luisa sustained her over the next week while she had to endure the snide comments her parents made about each other and the snippy comments both sets of her stepsiblings made toward her. She would normally fixate too much on them, but this time, she would allow herself to zone out, thinking about waltzing with Luisa in fake snow or getting ice cream with Luisa and her little brother. She still couldn’t wait to get back to school, but now home was a little easier to endure.

Every night at 9:01pm when the cell phone minutes were free for both their cell phone plans, one of them would call the other. Luisa explained it wasn’t really about the money in the sense that her father wouldn’t be able to pay, but he would definitely notice if she ran up the phone bill too high. It wasn’t so much about the money for Rose either, although she’d catch hell if she ran it up too much. But it was easier to conceal it from her family to talk at 9pm when they were much more likely to just leave her alone and give her some privacy so she could share secrets with Luisa well into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose was happy to be back at the dorm—a huge part of it was that she was happy to be away from her family, but an even bigger part was that she was going to be able to see Luisa again.

Rose got back to the dorm before Kara did, and immediately opened the windows to air it out. It didn’t smell terrible, but it was definitely a little musty. She also kept their door open to help air it out, and noticed that most of the people returning were doing the same. 

She was in the middle of unpacking when she heard Luisa call out to her from the doorway. She must have just gotten back, too.

“Rose!”

Rose looked toward the door and grinned. “Hi!” she said.

They moved toward one another and Luisa pulled Rose into a hug.

Rose gazed at Luisa. “Did you get a tan? It looks good.” She smiled unconsciously as she looked at Luisa. 

Luisa smiled, “I did, yes. Thank you.” She bit her lip. “Um, you look good, too.”

Rose felt her cheeks get hot. “Thanks.”

“I brought you some of that peach ice cream,” Luisa said. “I had them pack it in dry ice. I’ll bring it by in a few minutes, okay? Maybe we can share it.”

“You’re allergic,” Rose pointed out.

“You’re worth it,” Luisa said quickly. “I mean, it’s really good. It’s worth it.”

Rose was genuinely perplexed. “What could be worth risking an allergic reaction?”

“When the allergic reaction really isn’t that bad?”

Rose fought a smile. “You don’t have to risk death for me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t die,” Luisa said confidently. “At worst, my throat might close up a little.”

“Mmm. I’m not going to share my ice cream with you.”

“But I would share anything with you.”

“I would share anything with you, too, Luisa. Except peaches.”

Luisa pouted, but then she gave Rose a small smile. “I guess I should be grateful you’re looking out for me.”

“You really should.”

Luisa went to her room and came back a few minutes later carrying a box. She handed it to Rose. “It’s only two pints because I know you guys don’t have a lot of room in your mini fridge, and I didn’t want you to take up all the freezer space in case Kara was bringing something back.”

Rose smiled at Luisa’s thoughtfulness and took the box from Luisa. “Thanks,” she said sincerely. “And I will share with you if you’re sure you’ll be okay. Did you even get something for yourself?”

Luisa waved her away. “I actually had plenty. I took Raf almost every other day. He’s a sugar fiend.”

Luisa returned to her room, and the two girls continued to unpacking. Rose finished unpacking first and wandered to Luisa’s room where she was still putting things away. Rose felt her heart flutter when she saw that the Charlie Brown Christmas ornament she had given Luisa was now on her desk which meant that not only had Luisa taken it home with her, but she had brought it back. 

Rose flung herself onto Luisa’s bed to wait for Luisa to finish up. Luisa must have just changed the sheets on her bed because they smelled fresh and recently laundered. Rose had done the same, but she preferred whatever detergent Luisa used. It just smelled so clean, and she knew she would forever associate this scent with Luisa. 

“Did you bring your entire closet?” Rose teased watching Luisa unpack her bag and re-fill her wardrobe and dresser. 

Luisa blushed. “I didn’t bring that much!” 

“You’re definitely an overpacker,” Rose observed. 

Luisa frowned. “And you’re not?”

“No,” Rose said. “I’m a minimalist.”

Luisa huffed. “I just like being prepared,” she said, her arm flapping before putting clothes into her drawers. “I’d like to live in your world where disasters don’t happen.”

“Clothing disasters?” Rose teased. She had to smile at Luisa’s little arm flap. It was so easy to rile her up.

Rose thought that if they actually lived in a world of her design, she would be a billionaire, and every woman would be a polyglot lesbian clad in leather. And Luisa would love her. 

Luisa pouted. “If the apocalypse happens and you don’t have enough clean clothes, don’t expect me to share.”

“I couldn’t wear your clothes anyway,” Rose said. “I’d look like the Hulk.”

Luisa’s lips twisted. “Well, you could wear my underwear! So when you run out of clean underwear during the apocalypse, don’t come crying to me. I won’t let you. I’ll hoard them.”

Rose was momentarily thrown for a loop at the thought of sharing underwear with Luisa, but she forced herself to speak. “It wasn’t so long ago you said you would share anything with me. It was maybe 20 minutes ago,” she teased.

“That was before you mocked me like this. Now I’m going to be territorial, Rose Ruvelle.”

“So you’d really allow me to go without clean underwear?”

“Yes. Yes, I would. And I would take great joy in telling you that I told you so.”

“In this apocalyptic scenario where I’m jealous of your surplus of clean underwear, are we bunkering down together?”

“Of course we are, how else are you going to be jealous, and how else will I rub it in your face?”

“So then my hygiene would affect you? In an olfactory sense.”

Luisa was silent for a moment and then scowled. “Don’t try to trick me with your tricky logic!”

“I was just asking.”

Luisa looked so sullen, Rose couldn’t help laugh. “Oh, come on. Cheer up. Let’s go to the beach, okay? You like people watching at the beach, and you always laugh when seagulls steal food. We’ll pack some snacks and make a day of it. We’ll grab some stuff from the dining hall. It’ll be the last hurrah before classes start Monday.”

Luisa brightened. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Luisa said. “You are forgiven. I’ll share my underwear with you.”

Rose’s throat went dry, and she had to swallow. “Thanks,” she managed to force out.

Luisa gave her a wide, oblivious smile. Rose wanted to bury her face in her hands.

\--

There were many days in her life that felt too long, but this day by the beach with Luisa just felt too short even while she was living through it.

Rose reclined on the beach blanket, shielded by the beach umbrella that Luisa set up like a pro in under a minute. With her floppy hat partially obscuring her face, and her sunglasses covering up her eyes, no one would know that she was staring at Luisa, except she could not resist a smile when Luisa started to juggle three of the tangerines that they brought in their bag.

“You’re good,” Rose said after a full minute of watching Luisa juggle.

Luisa smiled. “I was in the juggling club in high school,” she said proudly as she continued to juggle.

Rose snorted. She could believe that. Luisa went through a ton of hobbies, and was always up to something. Rose chalked it up to being a baby genius who always needed a challenge. She didn’t necessarily have the attention span to keep up with it, but Rose was not surprised that Luisa knew how to juggle. 

“Gimme one of those,” Rose demanded.

All three tangerines dropped into Luisa’s hands, and she tossed one to Rose. Rose caught it one-handed and began peeling it, slipping a piece into her mouth.

Luisa flopped onto the blanket next to her. “Share.” Luisa opened her mouth. 

Rose smiled and held out a sliver. She expected Luisa to take it with her hands, but instead Luisa took it in her mouth.

The sight made Rose’s swallow unconsciously, but Luisa didn’t seem to notice and she rolled onto her back and began to throw the other two tangerines in the air, catching one in each hand. 

“This is a really pretty day” Luisa commented staring up at the sky. She smiled a slow, lazy smile.

Rose swallowed hard. “It is,” she agreed, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Luisa’s face. 

Luisa finally settled down, gently tossing the tangerines back into the bag and laid down next to Rose. Her feet continued to wiggle because Luisa could never quite seem to settle down. Rose found it endearing, even if she would have found that endless energy annoying in someone else. 

Rose was happy just to lie there with her, even though she wished she could find a way to make this day go just a little slower. She stared up at the blue sky, watching wispy white clouds slowly move away. She never really had an appreciation for nature, other than to concede that it could be very pretty. But right now, she just wanted to keep staring up at the sky and reach for Luisa’s hand. The breeze felt so comfortable that Rose found herself getting sleepy.

Rose realized she was dozing and half-asleep a few minutes later when she woke up due to Luisa’s very faint snoring. Rose snorted in amusement. Erin was right—Luisa did snore. 

She took a moment to gaze at Luisa’s face. Rose thought Luisa was just so cute. Every time Rose saw Luisa, she still felt that flustered attraction like the first time she saw her. 

Rose watched as a slow smile spread across Luisa’s face and then heard Luisa mumble something unintelligible. Then her feet wiggled. Rose’s lips quirked into a smile. She was just so goddamn cute. 

Rose rolled onto her back and sighed. She closed her eyes and thought about the upcoming quarter. She wasn’t super excited about it, but she was ready, more or less. 

The new quarter meant a change in schedule, and unfortunately, an end to _Dragnet_ Wednesdays. Rose had tried to factor that when she made her schedule, but she had prerequisite course she absolutely had to take on Wednesdays from 2:30-4:30pm. She cursed the universe, but Luisa apparently had the same issue and was now in a Lab from until 6pm on Wednesdays. If Rose could shake her fist at the universe, she would. 

She and Luisa had studied their schedules, but found that they just didn’t line up this quarter the way it had last quarter. ‘Better luck next time,’ Rose thought with a soft sigh. She wasn’t going to miss the show, but she was going to miss spending time with Luisa. She didn’t know what she would do without spending one day a week with her pretty little genius.

\--

She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Luisa was gently shaking her awake. 

Rose smiled crookedly, but refused to open her eyes. She just felt too good. The weather was warm even though it was January. That was one of the few perks of living in Florida. The ocean smelled nice. There was a little breeze in the area, and between the umbrella, her hat and her sunglasses, she had just the right amount of sun exposure. And she was with a girl she was falling in love with, even if it was unrequited. “I’m sleeping.”

Luisa gently pulled off Rose’s sunglasses. “No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, I am, my eyes are closed.”

Luisa squeezed Rose’s nose which made Rose open her eyes immediately.

“Oh, hey Rose, you’re awake,” Luisa said casually. 

Rose laughed and rubbed her nose. “What is it, fella?”

Luisa grinned. “I know a good place to get fish tacos. Do you want to have dinner with me?”

‘I always want to have dinner with you,’ Rose thought. But instead of saying so, she shrugged. “Sure.”

They walked around for a while until it was time for dinner. The fish tacos were delicious, and afterward they headed back to the dorm. Rose felt that familiar sense of melancholy after her time Luisa was coming to an end, wishing that it could last a little longer. It was Saturday and classes would start again on Monday, which meant that she was back to reality. 

Luisa, Rose, Kara and Erin had all made the Dean’s List the last quarter. Luisa proudly held up the school newspaper which listed all the names because of the four of them, Luisa had the highest GPA. It was one of the first glimpses Rose had of Luisa’s competitive streak being aimed towards her. 

\--

The ballroom dance classes were now swing lessons on Wednesdays. There was no way Rose was going to participate even if Luisa asked because Rose remembered thinking the swing dance commercials for GAP khakis were totally douchey when swing had a resurgence about four years ago. She was not going to participate now. Not even if Luisa asked. No way. Rose would do almost anything for her pretty little genius, but she wasn’t going to do that. 

\--

Rose found herself grumpily in the gymnasium meeting Luisa for the swing dance class and cursing Luisa’s persuasive prowess. She’d underestimated her own reaction to Luisa’s begging eyes. Rose thought Luisa really should consider becoming a lawyer, but Rose knew Luisa had her sight set on being a doctor. Maybe that was a blessing—Luisa’s intelligence and persuasive ability with that deceptively innocent face was a deadly combination. 

Rose plastered a big smile on her face for Luisa’s sake, but was relieved when Luisa pulled her aside.

“Are you smiling like that because you are really enjoying this, or are you trying to scare people from approaching you, because you kind of look scary.”

Rose looked at her quizzically “What?”

“You kind of have this…uh, gleam in your eye.”

Rose wanted to face palm. That’s what she got for trying to put on a brave face. “I think I’m trying to scare people away, why?”

“Because these people are nuts, and I’m hungry. Do you want to get out of here? Have you eaten? I’ll buy you pizza. But no pineapple, Rose. That is disgusting. Pineapples on pizza are for psychopaths, Rose.”

It was one of the few points of contention between them. Rose liked pineapple on her pizza, and Luisa absolutely did not. 

“I’d really be more of a sociopath if anything,” Rose mused. “But yeah, let’s get out of here. We can compromise—mushroom, sausage and green bell pepper.”

Luisa stuck her hand out. “Deal.”

Rose shook her hand. “Deal.”

“But I stick by my opinion—people who like pineapples on pizza are psychopaths.”

Rose smiled. “I appreciate that alliteration,” she said. 

Luisa smiled back. “How cute, charming chum.”

Rose rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help find that endearing. “Okay, okay.”

“Alvers also appreciation alliteration.”

Rose sighed. “Luisa.”

“Rose rewards repetition.”

“No, Rose does not.”

“Contrite chums choose—”

“Luisa.”

Luisa laughed. “Okay, okay.”

\--

The following week, Rose found herself wishing she had stuck with swing dancing, because Luisa found something else to try that was definitely not sanctioned by the university, but was close enough to campus that it was easily accessible which meant that Rose couldn’t try to say that it was too far away. 

Trampoline dodgeball. A woman’s league, apparently, because Luisa said “I will not play with boys. They take it too seriously and they get violent.”

Even at the time, the little competitive gleam in Luisa’s eyes told Rose that this was a mistake. But Luisa was just such a sweet pea, and she was only 16 years old for God’s sake, how bad could it be? 

Luisa was a hypercompetitive lunatic. 

Rose had to shake her head. The things she did when she had a crush. 

Luisa managed to pull Erin and Kara into it, which is how Rose discovered that Luisa and Erin were scarily competitive. 

“It’s short girl rage,” Kara whispered. “They both have a lot of short girl rage. You just have to stay out of the way.”

The gleeful way Luisa pointed at her competitors before taking them out, and then the wild way she would dodge the balls coming her way with no regard for her own safety was truly frightening. A few times Rose witnessed Luisa throwing her body in such a way that she was sure Luisa would be injured, and every single time, Luisa would be triumphant, holding her fist aloft in victory. 

Once, she threw the ball so hard at Erin that it beaned the other girl hard in the chest. Erin went flying and then bounced several times as she landed on the trampolines.

“Ow!” Erin shrieked. “You hit my boobs on purpose!”

“Ha!” Luisa yelled. “Suck it, Erin! Get outta here!”

Kara, who was on the opposing team, deliberately moved in the trajectory of one of Luisa’s teammates throws. 

Rose was already out of the game by then, and sitting next to a sulking Erin who was still occasionally rubbing the sting out of her chest and glaring daggers at Luisa. 

“You did that on purpose,” Rose accused Kara. 

“Of course I did,” Kara said. “She is goddamn lunatic.”

“She tried to knock my tits off!” Erin griped. 

“Do you see that crazy glint in her eyes?” Kara asked. “She was gunning for me. The only reason she isn’t gunning for you is you’re on the same team. But trust me, if you saw her face, you’d make sure to get out, too. Jesus Christ, she is bellicose for a 16 year old. Kids these days, Jesus.”

“Wait, you know she’s 16?”

“Of course I know,” Kara said. “Erin and I went to the movies with her once, and she got carded. They almost wouldn’t let us in to see the movie because Erin and I didn’t have our IDs on us, and they didn’t believe that we would be hanging out with her. They thought we were all still in high school. It was ridiculous.”

“That is hilarious,” Rose said. “Why has no one ever told me this?”

“Because she was embarrassed,” Kara said. “And she didn’t want us to tell you because she thought you wouldn’t want to hang out with her.”

“She asked us to cram it, so we did,” Erin added.

Kara shook her head. “It makes sense though that some 16 year old genius would be a psycho like this. You don’t go to college at 16 without being a little intense. It’s like how you know all astronauts have to secretly be totally crazy. I bet astronauts are unbearable to live with.” 

They all winced as they watched Luisa bean an opponent in the solar plexus with the ball. Luisa whooped and punched the air, jumping up and down in victory. “I crush my opponents!” she cried.

“Oh my God, Erin,” Kara said. “You live with Genghis Khan, you better sleep with one eye open tonight and for forever more. You could be 65, and there will her 63 year old self be, probably looking exactly the same and ready to hit you with a dodgeball, and you’ll have to try and grab your cane to defend yourself.”

“Why am I in a cane and she looks exactly the same? I will have you know that Asian doesn’t raisin.”

“Luisa will look exactly the same because hypercompetitive lunatics like her don’t let themselves age. Her cryogenically frozen head will still be launching dodgeballs at the graves of your great great grandchildren. ”

“Ugh,” Erin said. “You got that right.” Her eyes followed Luisa for a moment. “I’m genuinely afraid of her right now. It’s always the sweet ones that would cut you, like, over a game of Candyland. Why couldn’t she have gotten into yoga or transcendental meditation?”

“What the hell is yoga?” Kara demanded. 

“Like, putting your body into weird positions and breathing and shit.”

“Don’t people, like, fart the entire class because their bodies gets too relaxed?” Kara asked. 

“I don’t know, but I’d rather smell a fart than get slammed in the head by a dodgeball thrown by a 16 year old genius laughing her fucking head off afterward. She is enjoying this way too much. I bet she was a warlord in another life.”

“I’d rather get hit in the head,” Kara said. “What about you, Rose?”

“What?” Rose had mostly tuned out the conversation in favor of watching Luisa play. 

“Would you rather smell a fart in a yoga class or get slammed in the head by a dodgeball thrown by Luisa fucking Alver? Keep in mind she might knock your head off or give you a concussion.” 

Rose really had to think about that because Luisa was clearly playing for keeps. 

“Neither,” Rose said. “I think I’d rather risk hitting Luisa with the ball.”

“Oooh,” Erin and Kara said together.

“Even though you’re on the same team?” Erin asked, “because if you did that, she would literally murder you.”

“I’d risk it.”

“Christ, you’re brave,” Kara said. “She is unmerciful. Fucking Genghis Khan.”

Rose watched Luisa fondly. “She would never really hurt anyone.”

They all winced as another woman went flying due to one of Luisa’s throws. 

“I think the woman who just got knocked back into the Cretaceous era would disagree,” Erin said dryly. “She is scary and that’s that. Genghis Khan is right.”

The game ended and Luisa’s team won (of course). Luisa skipped over to them, grinning ear from ear. “I had a lovely time,” Luisa said sweetly. And she was once again the Luisa they all knew. “How about you guys?”

“See?” Erin whispered. “Scary.”

“We had a great time,” Rose said. 

“I only wish our victory had been quicker,” Luisa said.

“Marauders are so hard to please.” Erin whispered. 

“What?” Luisa asked, looking adorably confused.

Erin smile was placating. “Nothing, just wanted to commend you leading your team to victory.”

Luisa’s smile was cocky. “Thank you. I like to win.”

What did it say about Rose that this scary competitive side to Luisa did nothing to diminish her crush, but only made it flourish? Nothing good, Rose thought. ‘I am into some weird shit,’ Rose thought. She hoped this was as weird as it got.

\--

School resuming also meant Rose had to resume seeing Allison. 

Allison was a uniquely terrible person, and Rose was steady in her hatred of the girl who had broken Luisa’s heart too many times to count and with a frequency that was too dependable.

Rose hated her, and the enmity was mutual. Rose was also fairly certain that Allison knew how she felt about Luisa, and that made Rose hate her more. 

Sometimes, Rose played it out in her head. Imagined Allison and Luisa lying in bed, talking and laughing the way Rose assumed that all couples did. She pictured Allison telling Luisa, “Rose is in love with you, you know,” and she pictured Luisa laughing loudly, the way she always did when she found something ridiculous.

The thought kept her awake at night. 

She wanted to ask Luisa why she allowed herself to be subjected to this kind of treatment, but Rose knew the answer would be that Luisa loved Allison, and she just couldn’t stand to hear Luisa actually say out loud how much she loved Allison. 

So Rose watched as Allison treated Luisa like shit on a predictable basis, watched as Luisa drank herself into a stupor and cried that it was the last time she would allow Allison to break her heart again, but it _never_ was. Rose always knew that Luisa didn’t mean it, and even if she did mean it in that moment, she didn’t have the willpower to follow through. 

Rose wanted to ask Luisa what she thought it meant that her closest friends would be willing to walk on their hands and knees through glass for her, but none of them would pee on Allison if she were on fire. All of Luisa’s friends hated Allison. 

“I don’t know,” Erin said. “Allison is a real cunt, but you have to assume that Luisa must like that if she’s so willing to take it.”

Rose had to sigh. There had to be truth in that. 

\--

One Wednesday morning about a week after midterms, Luisa appeared in Rose’s doorway.

“Play hooky with me,” Luisa said. “I’ve missed _Dragnet_ days with you.”

Rose had gone to public school and her education had been free, but she was actually paying for college, or rather, she and her parents were paying for college, so she had calculated roughly how much each class cost her, and it wasn’t an insignificant sum. With that in mind, she generally did not miss class. Still she found herself agreeing right away because it was Luisa who was asking.

Rose smiled back. “Me too. What did you have in mind? _Dragnet_ isn’t on until 3:30, and it’s only 8am. If I’m going to play hooky, it better be good.”

Luisa grinned mischievously. “There’s a little carnival,” she said. “Today’s the first day. Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Rose said. “But let me get dressed.”

“It opens at 10, so I thought we could get bagels at this place I know on the way. We should save room for all the food they’re going to have there.”

“You’re making me so fat.”

Luisa shrugged dismissively. “More to love.”

\--

As they walked around the fair, Rose started to recognize the familiar competitive glint in Luisa’s eyes as they passed some of the games.

Luisa was kicked out of the dodgeball league once one of the other competitors discovered that Luisa was only 16 and had never checked the box on her application form that averred she was 18 years old or over. 

She probably never would have gotten caught, but one of her fiercest competitors was an equally hypercompetitive lunatic called Amy Santiago, who was a senior at their school. Amy’s boyfriend, Jake, also a senior, worked part-time at the recreation center that hosted them, and he’d looked up Luisa’s application on Amy’s insistence. 

Luisa’s age had been discovered, and she was kicked out of the league with the promise she could come back once she turned 18. 

Luisa had been outraged, and the memory of Luisa emphatically pointing her finger at a smug Amy and Jake and indignantly calling them “saboteurs,” still made Rose smile. Luisa had been upset at the time, but she’d just looked so cute. 

At this very moment, Luisa looked schemey. If she were in a movie, she would be tenting her fingers at the moment with an evil expression. Instead, Luisa looked at Rose and waved a jaunty finger. “Oh, Rose,” she said in a sing-song. “I bet—”

“Nope,” Rose said. She knew Luisa was going to suggest a competition, and Rose wasn’t going to do it. Mostly because she knew she’d never win.

Luisa’s lower lip jutted out. “But you don’t know what I was going to say.”

“You were going to challenge me to something, and I’m not going to do it. I surrender.”

Luisa’s posture suddenly changed, and she was standing straighter. “Are you saying you know I’d win?” she asked cockily. 

“I don’t know if you’d win fair and square, but you’d win,” Rose joked with a straight face.

Luisa was outraged. “Are you saying I’m a cheater?”

“I saw you peeking at Erin’s cards when you guys were playing Go Fish.”

“Erin cheats!”

“Let’s just keep things friendly, okay?”

“Oh, okay,” Luisa grumbled.

Rose’s actual plan was to win Luisa a menagerie of stuffed animals, but she couldn’t even begin to try to fulfill that plan if Luisa was actively competing against her.

The first game they played was a shooting game which Rose had excelled at. She knocked down all the bottles, and chose the stuffed llama that Luisa had been eyeing. 

“Here,” she said, handing the llama over to Luisa because she didn’t have the willpower to wait until they were leaving to give it to her. 

Luisa’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yes,” Rose said. “I think he’d like you better.”

Luisa took it and hugged it. “His name is Rovelle.”

“Why Rovelle?”

Luisa raised an eyebrow. “Ro for Rose and velle for Ruvelle, duh.”

Rose’s cheeks turned a deep red. “Oh, thanks.”

“You can visit him whenever you like,” Luisa said. “Gosh, you were really good at that shooting game. Have you shot guns before? I mean, this _is_ Florida.”

“No,” Rose said. “But maybe I’m a natural at it. I should try shooting a real gun. I mean, this is Florida, after all,” she teased.

Luisa gave her a small smile. “I’m not really a fan of the real thing, but if you want to try it out, I’ll go with you,” she offered. 

“I’d never make you do something you don’t want to do,” Rose said sincerely. 

Luisa stared at her for a moment and then looked away. “My turn. I want to win something for you,” she declared. 

Now Luisa was wearing another familiar expression—her determined face. Luisa seemed to live by the rules of work hard/play hard, and even though it didn’t always seem like she was making an effort at school, her grades said otherwise. Luisa always wanted to do her best. 

Luisa looked very focused as she aimed the water rifles at the bottles. She leaned forward and pulled the trigger—and hit every bottle. 

Luisa let out a little whoop as the last bottle was knocked down, and punched the air victoriously. “Yes!” she cheered. She turned to Rose, beaming from ear to ear. “Okay, now you choose!”

Rose chose a little blue elephant, but she floundered when she had to think of a name because she’d never be able to look at it without thinking about Luisa. Luckily, Luisa left her off the hook.

By the time they decided to take a break for lunch, Rose had additionally won Luisa a stuffed otter and stuffed panda whereas Luisa had won Rose a stuffed pug, whale, koala and a hat with Florida emblazoned on it. Rose put the hat on right away because she really could have used one since it was so sunny. 

On the way to the food stalls, they saw a caricature artist and stopped at Luisa’s insistence. Rose had prior experiences with caricature artists at a school carnival and at her homophobic cousin, Herbert’s wedding, and she did not enjoy it. They had made her face look like one big freckle, but she could never deny Luisa anything. 

“I want you to make me look like Joe Friday and her like Bill Gannon,” Luisa told the artist.

“The guys from _Dragnet_?”

“Yes!”

“Uh, I don’t think that’ll work,” the artist said. “How about the two of you on waterskies? Or better yet, a tandem bike.”

“As long as you put me in front,” Luisa said with a nod.

The guy looked at Rose. “Buddy, you got your work cut out for you.”

“You got that right,” Rose said fondly. 

Luisa was totally oblivious to the interaction because she was digging through her wallet to pay the guy. “Can you make two? One for me, and one for her,” Luisa said. 

“Sure thing, kid.”

The artist looked at Rose and winked. Rose flushed and looked away. 

Once he was done with both portraits, he presented to them with flourish. Rose had to admit he made her look pretty good, and she was happy with the product.

“You look so good,” Luisa said, admiring the caricatures. “Not that it would be hard,” she added. She grinned at the artist. “Thank you!”

Rose was still blushing as they walked away. 

As they walked to the food stall, Rose plucked the wallet out of Luisa’s purse. 

“Hey!”

“You’ve been paying for everything, so I’m paying for the food.”

“But—”

“Cram it, fella.”

Rose knew that Luisa’s eyes were bigger than her stomach, and that she would want to try nearly everything. Having recently gone to a buffet with Luisa where she got exactly one or two bites of everything, Rose knew that she was in for it. It wasn’t about the money at all, it was about the fact that she would probably need an Alka Seltzer once they were done eating, and she wasn’t even really sure what Alka Seltzer did, or what it was for. 

She was right, more or less.

She still had no idea what the function of Alka Seltzer was, but by the time Rose and Luisa returned to the dorm carrying their prizes and their caricatures, Rose thought she would have to be rolled into her bedroom. She could not remember being so full in her life. 

She and Luisa collapsed onto Luisa’s bed and turned on _Dragnet_ more for background noise at this point, because there was no way Rose could focus on it.

“Sorry,” Luisa said, spooning Rose. She put her arm over Rose’s belly and gently began to rub soft circles. 

“I knew one day you’d make me blow up like Violet Beauregarde one day, Luisa Alver,” Rose groaned. But Luisa rubbing her stomach felt nice. 

“I’m sorry,” Luisa said softly with a small laugh. “Are you still my lady?” she asked lightly. 

“Always,” Rose murmured, swallowing hard. “At least as long as you’re my fella.” She sighed. “But the next time you want to go to a carnival, we’re inviting more people, so there’s more people to finish all the food. Because otherwise I’m going to have to assume you’re trying to turn me into foie gras.”

Luisa rested her chin on Rose’s shoulder. “Okay, deal.”

As Luisa continued to rub Rose’s stomach, Rose thought about how nearly everything she’d ever done just because Luisa wanted her to, had been worth it. 

The worst part of this was that she wanted to be mad. She wanted to be mad at herself for having such a huge crush on this girl, but having zero bravery to do anything about it. She wanted to be mad at Luisa for being so goddamn appealing, but also being so oblivious that she wasn’t picking up on any of the hints Rose was dropping, even if she knew that she was deliberately trying to be subtle so that Luisa _wouldn’t_ pick up on it. She was mad because she’d never felt like this about anyone in her entire life, and Luisa kept doing and saying things that only made this crush stronger and harder to get over. Rose wanted to be mad, but the worst part of it was that she wasn’t mad. She was sad she couldn’t have more, but she was happy just to have this much, and that made her mad most of all. She’d always thought it was easier to have nothing at all than not enough, but with Luisa, she was willing to take whatever she could get. 

\--

Luisa’s birthday was coming up, and while Rose knew that Luisa didn’t really like to celebrate it, she didn’t want it to go unacknowledged. Finals and Spring Break were also around the corner, so things were going to be busy. She and Luisa were going to have dinner with Erin and Kara at some teppanyaki place that Luisa wanted to try, but Rose wanted to do something special for Luisa’s birthday.

They were studying together on a bright Saturday morning in the last week of March.

“So, your birthday is next weekend,” Rose said. 

“Yes, it is,” Luisa acknowledged. 

“I know you said you didn’t want to do anything big, which is cool, but I’d really like to take you out for your birthday.”

“Oh, but we’re going out with Erin and Kara, that’s enough.”

“It’s really not, Luisa. I’d really like to treat you to dinner, if that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be on your actual birthday, I mean, I’m sure Allison will take you out. But—”

“Allison never remembers my birthday,” Luisa said. “And honestly, even if she did, I think I’d rather spend it with you anyway. I’d really love to go to dinner with you. Thank you.”

“Do you have a place where you want to go?”

“Anywhere with you is good,” Luisa said. “You know what I like. Surprise me.”

Oh, goddammit. Choosing something for someone else was just so goddamn hard. 

\--

Rose began making a list immediately.

Teppanyaki was out because they were already doing that with Kara and Erin. So that kind of meant that sushi and yakitori were out. Cuban was out because that was just a part of their routine, and Rose wanted to do something special. Luisa liked pho, but it wasn’t really a birthday meal. Rose briefly considered Korean barbeque but quickly rejected it because she thought Luisa may be annoyed if her clothes ended up smelling like Korean barbeque when they finished eating since the smoke did end up getting pretty entrenched. Rose also briefly considered Brazilian, but if they ate that, Rose knew she actually would end up exploding because Luisa would want to try everything. 

After a lot of consideration, Rose ultimately decided on Peruvian because a new Peruvian restaurant had opened up, and Luisa had once mentioned she’d wanted to try it in passing. Rose thought it was actually perfect, because it had a combination of traditional entrees like lomo saltado, but also had a lot small bite appetizers that they could order, so Luisa could have a little of everything. 

Rose groaned and rubbed her face. Never before had she put so much effort into finding a place to eat, but she wanted to ensure Luisa’s birthday was special even if the birthday girl herself didn’t seem to want to make a big deal.

\--

Rose, Luisa and their respective roommates had their dinner on a Friday, but Saturday was Luisa’s actual birthday. 

Rose was filled with nervous energy. She considered Luisa to be a good friend, but Rose sometimes had no idea how to act around her. Things could be so natural and comfortable, and just flow so well—Rose never really experienced that with anyone before. But then there were times when Rose felt awkward and had no idea what to do or say. 

“How does it feel to be an almost adult?” Rose teased once they were seated at the restaurant.

Luisa huffed playfully. “Hey!”

Rose’s smile was wry. “Now you’re _almost_ legally accountable for all your actions.”

Luisa smiled. “You mean I can do whatever I want and nothing will happen?”

“They might take it easier on you,” Rose suggested helpfully.

“Sounds fun.”

“Just remember that if it’s really bad, you can still be tried as an adult. This is Florida, you know.”

Luisa smiled cockily. “I’d get away with it.”

Rose narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know, I am not sure you would have what it takes to be a criminal mastermind.”

“Oh, and you do?” Luisa asked.

“Yes,” Rose said. “I think I would.” She pretended to look at Luisa appraisingly. “The best you could do is maybe a petty thug sidekick. Your weapon would be dodgeballs.”

“I could be a criminal mastermind!” Luisa cried, outraged, her arms flapping indignantly

Rose knew this was Luisa’s competitive streak talking, especially with that arm flap. “Okay, Al Capone.”

“Capone got caught. I wouldn’t. I’d be like…D.B. Cooper.”

“He only pulled off one crime.”

“That we know of.”

“He’s probably dead.”

“I think he made it.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“I think you’re treating me very unkindly on my birthday.”

Rose couldn’t suppress her smile. “Sorry, but I think telling you that you would make a good criminal mastermind is just asking for too much, birthday or not.”

“Well, at least admit that I would be better at it than you.”

“If I admit it, it’ll only be because it’s your birthday. It won’t be a real victory.”

“Surrendering to me is still a victory, Rose.”

Rose tried not to smile. Why did she like this pretty little genius so much? Rose waved her white napkin. “Okay,” she said. “You win. I surrender.”

Luisa grinned at her, and Rose knew that was nothing she could ever deny her. 

\--

The food was delicious, but what pleased Rose that most was that Luisa seemed to really enjoy it, and she was glad she had chosen this place. Luisa had thanked her about 20 times throughout the meal, but Rose just wanted Luisa to be happy, and she was glad Luisa liked the food. 

Rose paid the bill over Luisa’s protests. 

“You don’t pay on your birthday, Luisa.”

Luisa still looked like she wanted to argue, but Rose wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Okay,” Rose said, “I’ll let you kick in some money if you admit that I would not only make a good criminal mastermind, but I would be a better one than you, and you also admit that you would make a bad one.”

Luisa looked appalled. “I’ll never admit it. I won’t let you win.”

“Okay, then. You can’t pay.”

“But you’d already surrendered to me earlier!”

“It was a ploy. Now I’m double crossing you.”

Luisa gasped. “I never saw it coming.”

“You’re never supposed to see a good double cross coming. That’s why I’m the better criminal mastermind.”

Luisa clutched her heart. “And on my birthday.”

“I know,” Rose said warmly. “I should have waited until tomorrow to tell you.” She reached out to grasp Luisa’s hand and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. 

Luisa gently slapped Rose’s hand. “I’ll get you one day for this, Rose Ruvelle.”

“Happy Birthday, Luisa Alver. Welcome to almost being an adult, it’s time to face the cold, harsh reality that you would make a poor criminal mastermind.”

Luisa reached across the table and put her hand on Rose’s arm. “In all seriousness, thank you,” she said. “This is one of my best birthdays in a really long time.”

Rose squeezed Luisa’s hand. “You deserve it.”

\--

“Oh god,” Luisa groused, linking arms with Rose as they left the restaurant and leaning into her. They had definitely over eaten because the food was just too good. “I think you will have to roll me to my room. Can you just roll me like a barrel?”

Rose wrapped her arm around Luisa and pulled her close. “Now you know how I feel any time I go out to eat with you.”

Luisa laughed and leaned in closer to Rose. “You like it,” she teased.

Rose chuckled. “I do,” she agreed. She loved it, in fact.

They were so full that they needed to walk around. The restaurant was located on a pier, and given that it was a Saturday night, it was crowded and bursting with energy. There were street performers everywhere, which normally wasn’t a selling point for Rose, but some of them were actually really good. 

Luisa stopped to watch a young woman who was singing a Dolly Parton song. 

“Of course,” Rose said fondly. “What is it with you and Dolly anyway?”

“Dolly grew up dirt poor in a one room house with her twelve siblings and she’s just the best. If she can be a megastar with her own theme park, I can get over almost anything life throws at me,” Luisa declared.

Rose nodded. Okay then. “Indeed,” she said.

The busker started to sing ‘Beyond the Sea,’ and they stayed until she finished the song. Both Rose and Luisa threw some money into the singer’s case before they continued their walk. 

“Don’t you think people who can do that are so brave?” Luisa said. 

“Yes,” Rose said. “I could never.”

Luisa smiled crookedly and hip-bumped Rose. “You don’t seem like you lack confidence.”

“It’s all an act,” Rose said, although she didn’t think she behaved in any particular way that would give off the impression of confidence. “I’m a mess. I never know what I’m doing, and on any given day, on a scale from 1-10, I’m maybe a 7 in terms of anxiety.”

Luisa chuckled gently. “Well, you definitely don’t give off that impression. You always seem so confident, and like you know exactly what you are doing.” she said. “But me too. I’m crazy.”

“No, you aren’t,” Rose refuted quietly. She thought back to the fight she witnessed between Luisa and Allison, when Allison told Luisa to ‘stop acting crazy,’ and the wounded look on Luisa’s face. “You aren’t,” she repeated emphatically. 

Luisa bit her lip. “It runs in my family,” she admitted softly. “My mother was mentally ill.” Luisa cleared her throat. “I don’t know exactly what she had. I mean, I don’t know her diagnosis because my dad never told me, so I don’t know if she had schizophrenia or anything like that, but when I think back to when she was still alive, I know she wasn’t well. She killed herself when I was six, and that means she must have been crazy, right? I mean, people who aren’t crazy just don’t kill themselves.” Luisa heaved a heavy sigh. “And crazy runs in families. Like, it’s not just a matter of nurture, it’s actually genetic, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it from happening. It’s just one day, you’re reasonably okay, and the next day you’re jumping off a bridge.”

A lump that felt like it was the size of a softball formed in Rose’s throat. She found it difficult to swallow. “I don’t think that’s what it means,” Rose said gently. “I don’t think people who kill themselves are crazy.” She pulled Luisa close and held her as they walked. She wished they weren’t having a conversation so serious when it was so crowded and she couldn’t look at Luisa. But maybe it was easier for Luisa to talk about this if they weren’t looking at each other. The fear in Luisa’s voice that she would end up like her mother was palpable. “Sometimes people are just in so much pain that they think it’s the only way out, but it doesn’t mean they’re crazy. It means they’re in pain, and everyone has pain. And even if there is a genetic connection with mental illness, it doesn’t mean that it will happen to you. And even if you did have a mental illness, it doesn’t mean there is anything is wrong with that. There are a lot of people who live with mental illness. I mean, _A Beautiful Mind_ not only won all kids of awards, but John Nash is a genius who won a Nobel Prize and made it through.”

“Sometimes I feel crazy,” Luisa said quietly. “And I’m worried that I will go crazy. A lot of onsets for mental illness comes later for women. I’m worried that everything will be fine for a while and then I’ll get older and just lose it. The older I get, the more I’m worried that the clock is ticking and I’ll go crazy like my mother.”

Rose swallowed hard at the obvious pain and fear in Luisa’s voice. She wished she could have a crystal ball to see into the future to assure Luisa that everything would be okay. But Rose knew that there were no guarantees in life, and plenty of brilliant people do, indeed, get their lives derailed by mental illness. Luisa was too smart to fall for something like ‘everything will be okay,’ when it came to something like this. 

“I mean, right now, you’re normal crazy. You’re crazy like I’m crazy. You’re dodgeball crazy, but you’re not unwell. You aren’t going to hurt yourself or anyone else. Now is all that matters. We can’t worry like that about the future.”

Luisa stopped walking and faced Rose putting her hands on the sides of Rose’s arm, her eyes serious. “If you ever think that I am crazy—like, actually going crazy, I want you to tell me no matter what. Even if at the time, I’m too ill to know you’re doing it for my own good. Even if I get angry with you, I want you to tell me if I’m crazy. Will you do that?”

Rose stared down into Luisa’s eyes and cupped the sides of Luisa’s face. “Yes, Luisa. I will. I promise you. I will absolutely tell you no matter what.”

Luisa hesitated. “And you won’t ever…like, call me crazy if you’re just annoyed with me? If you think I’m being crazy, I want to know. But I want you to be serious about it. I mean, you can say I’m crazy if you’re just kidding around, but you won’t ever tell me I’m being crazy if I’m not, and you’re annoyed or mad at me or something?”

“I would _never_ ,” Rose swore. She tilted Luisa’s head up ever so slightly so she could make better eye contact. “I would never, _ever_ do something like to you.” Rose released Luisa’s face and crossed her heart. “I promise. You’re my fella,” she said with a small smile. “I could never do that to you.”

Luisa smiled up at her. “You are such a good friend to me,” she murmured. She stepped forward to wrap her arms around Rose. She squeezed Rose tightly. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Rose stroked Luisa’s hair. “Back atcha,” she said softly. 

If she were a little braver, this was the moment Rose knew she could have declared her feelings. But she wasn’t braver, and Luisa was very clear she thought of Rose as a friend. 

When she returned to the dorm with Luisa, Rose felt a sense of melancholy start to take over, although she took great pains not to show it. 

Rose and Luisa paused in the hallway outside their rooms.

“Thank you for everything,” Luisa murmured. “For tonight, for yesterday, for my present…it has been a really long time since I’ve wanted to celebrate my birthday, but I can’t think of anyone I would have rather wanted to be with tonight than you.”

Rose smiled. “I’m glad.”

Luisa swallowed visibly, and she stepped forward to hug Rose. Luisa paused for a moment before she brought her lips close to Rose’s face and lingered there for a moment. 

Rose’s breath caught. 

Luisa’s lips brushed against Rose’s cheek. “Good night,” she whispered.

Rose’s mouth was dry. She licked her lips. “Good night.”

And then Luisa went into her room, and Rose went into hers. 

Rose closed her door and leaned up against it, glad that Kara was gone and she could be alone. She threw herself on her bed and put her hand to her heart where it was hammering in her chest. She covered her face with her pillow and thought about every moment of the night from the very beginning.

\--

The rest of the quarter passed unremarkably. Finals came and went, and everyone went home for Spring Break. 

Rose spoke with Luisa almost every night, and even made a few plans to meet up, but it just never happened.

Spring Break was only a week, but it went way too fast and Rose wasn’t necessarily looking forward to school starting all over again. The bright side was that she’d talked to Luisa about their schedule, and even if they couldn’t quite pair up on Wednesdays to watch _Dragnet_ again, they _did_ have aligning free time on Thursdays, so she was looking forward to that.

Rose returned to school later than normal—later on Sunday evening rather than early Saturday morning. Kara was already home and greeted Rose at the door. 

“Did you hear?” Kara asked, her green eyes sparkling. 

“What?”

“Luisa broke up with Allison.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right,” she scoffed. 

“No, really.” Kara said. “Allison visited Luisa over break, and Allison called Rafael a brat. Luisa broke up with her, and now she won’t take any of her calls and won’t come to the door. You missed it. Allison came over and Luisa refused to see her and started hitting the door. Then Allison said if Luisa didn’t come to the door to see her, the next thing she would hit was Luisa’s face. So then Dave came out of his room and told Allison if she didn’t fuck off, he was going to call campus security.”

Rose was horrified. “Allison threatened to hit Luisa?” She felt rage bubbling up in her chest. Her fists clenched.

“Yeah!”

“Is Luisa okay? Allison didn’t hurt her, did she?”

“I think she’s okay. She didn’t seem, like, surprised by Allison’s behavior. I mean, it’s not surprising because Allison is a real twat. But Luisa’s fine. She never even saw Allison. Luisa hid, and I told Allison to take a hike into the ocean.”

Rose suppressed a smile at the image, but only for a moment. “Allison called Rafael a brat?” Rose questioned. 

“Yeah, I guess. They were yelling at each other, but Luisa still wouldn’t come to the door. Luisa was pissed! I guess Allison made Rafael cry, and that’s what compelled Luisa to finally dump her ass. I guess the fight started back home or whatever, and then Allison picked it up again here. Anyway. This seems different. Luisa wasn’t crying like she normally does when she says it’s over with Allison. She was stone cold. It was a little scary. Fucking Genghis Khan for real. But you can’t piss someone like that off—once they’re done, they’re done, y’know?”

“Wow,” Rose said. She shook her head. Rafael was the most important person in Luisa’s life. Any idiot would know that. 

“What a piece of shit bully. Add that to being a piece of shit cheater, and Luisa is way better off.”

Rose was suddenly caught off guard by music blaring from Luisa and Erin’s room.

“Is that from the Wizard of Oz?” Rose asked, recognizing the music. 

Kara’s lips quirked into a smile. “Yes,” she said. “Erin has been prepared for this, but she thought it would never come.”

“I mean, it’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?” Rose asked.

“I think it’s exactly right,” Kara said. “Ding dong the witch is dead!”

The music got louder and then there was singing. Rose opened the door to see that Luisa and Erin’s door was open, and Erin was now prancing down the hall. 

“And the coroner pronounced her--- dead! And through the town the joyous news went running!” Erin sang. Erin jumped and clicked her heels together.

Luisa was standing at her doorway, leaning on the door jamb, looked unamused. 

“Come on, Lulu,” Kara cajoled. “She’s an idiot, but she’s our idiot.”

Luisa made a face, but didn’t respond. Then she saw Rose and her face brightened. She gave a tiny wave.

Rose smiled and waved back, and then gestured to a dancing/singing Erin with her chin, rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Luisa rolled her eyes, and made a face.

Erin was dancing and singing her way back to her room and jumped to land in front of Luisa. 

Erin squeezed Luisa’s cheeks together. “Ding dong! The merry-o, sing it high, sing it low! Let them knew the wicked witch is dead!” She flung her arms out in flourish. The people roaming the halls in that moment began to clap, and Erin took a bow. 

Erin was tone deaf, and didn’t know it, but she did have a sense of showmanship. 

She flung her arm around Luisa. “This is truly the best news.” She saw that Rose was finally home. “Oh, hey, Rose,” she said with a smile. “Have you heard the divine news?”

Luisa swatted at Erin’s arm. “Don’t you think you are being overdramatic?”

“For once, Luisa,” Kara quickly interjected, “she is absolutely not. This is just the best news.”

Luisa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Hi Rose,” she greeted again, ignoring Kara and Erin completely. “Wanna get a churro with me?”

“Oh, so we’re not invited?” Kara joked. “Thanks. See if I ever share anything with you ever again.”

“I’ll get a churro with you,” Rose said ignoring her roommate. 

Luisa went to her room to grab her bag and then re-joined Rose. The two girls left the dorm in silence.

Once they were outside the building, Rose finally spoke. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Luisa said. “I’m fine. I think it was a long time coming. When I really think about it, it’s been a long time since we’ve even really been together. I was just dragging it out. I know she can be abrasive, but she could be different with me, and when someone like that shows you a different side than they do to everyone else, you just love them more. 

“I get that,” Rose said.

Luisa laughed ruefully. “I should have known inviting her over would be a disaster, it always is when we see each other when we’re home. But I guess I was hoping that it could be different this time. I didn’t expect her to be mean to Rafael though. Like my dad says, family is everything. It’s not so much that she called him a brat, because he can be a brat sometimes. It’s that she didn’t care that he cried and she wouldn’t apologize for hurting his feelings. He’s just a little kid. That’s not okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Rose agreed. Something had been bothering Rose for a while, and she finally just had to ask. “Has she ever….” Rose swallowed hard. “Hurt you? Like hit you, I mean. I heard she threatened you today.”

Luisa frowned. “No, of course not. She’s threatened, but she never went through with it. She’s kind of all talk.”

Rose was relieved, but she still wanted to punch Allison in the face all the same. 

“You know it’s not okay for someone to threaten to do that, right?” Rose asked gently. “It’s not okay for them to hit and it’s not okay for someone to threaten to hit.”

Luisa looked at her. “I know.” She smiled. “Thank you for being such a good friend to me, Rose. You really are the best.” 

Rose knew intellectually that crushes were called crushes because they were crushing. But this was something more, and Rose just felt sad to have such strong feelings for someone who simply didn’t return them and just seemed so oblivious to them. Rose knew that Luisa was oblivious, because if Luisa did have an inkling about her feelings towards her, Rose knew that Luisa would have at least put her out of her misery by now. Luisa would never be so cruel as to keep her dangling.

And now Luisa was finally single, and that just made Rose’s crush grow even more.


	3. Chapter 3

Luisa first fell in love with Allison Cabral during a study session for 9th grade Geometry. 

Most of the other kids in class, even in the school treated her like a little kid. She knew she was younger than the other students, but it wasn’t _that_ much younger, and she appreciated it when she was treated as an equal. 

Allison always treated her as a peer, not a little kid, and she was just so pretty.

Luisa’s infatuation with Allison wasn’t a feeling that she was comfortable with, but she wasn’t exactly uncomfortable with it either. It was just something she’d become aware of, and she knew enough to keep it to herself, but not enough that it bothered her. Yet.

Luisa was twelve to Allison’s fourteen, and Allison was popular but caustic, so Luisa would have kept her attraction to Allison a secret to her grave because although Luisa had always been confident in the knowledge that she was smart, she lacked confidence in almost every other conceivable area of her life. But then one day when they were working on proofs, Allison reached out to hold her hand, and then the next week, Allison kissed her. 

It was easy to keep their relationship a secret. Luisa’s father was rarely home, and even when he was, he wasn’t the kind of father who asked a lot of questions or provided much supervision. She didn’t get into any serious trouble, and she knew that if she told her father about Allison, he would put a stop to it. So, she just didn’t tell him, and he was none the wiser. He was pleased that she had a high IQ and excelled in school, so he could brag about it, and he didn’t care what she did with her time. She knew as long as she stayed off his radar, he really didn’t care what she did. 

Since she was always ahead in school, her friends were always older, and she knew that this often created problems for her. But they weren’t so serious that it ever came to her father’s attention, so she didn’t think it was a big deal 

Allison’s parents also traveled a great deal for work, and so she and Allison were both unsupervised and had a ton of alone time. The only thing she was conscious of was when she had to take care of Rafael, who had been only four years old when Luisa and Allison first started dating. 

Other than needing to take Rafael into account, Luisa and Allison essentially had unlimited and unmonitored access to one another. 

At the time, it had felt wonderful. But when Luisa looked back on it, she’d gotten in way over her head.

\--

Luisa had always felt things a little too intensely. Something would happen that other people seemed to have no problem shaking off, and she would be reduced to tears and then dwell on it in perpetuity. She’d known from an early age that it wasn’t normal to be like that, but she also had no idea how else to be.

With no one around to stop them, Luisa and Allison just fell deeper in love. At least, Luisa fell in love with Allison. Allison said she loved her, but Luisa was never really secure in that. 

Luisa fantasized about marrying Allison once they were older, and she really believed that’s where they were headed. 

One day toward the end of their freshman year, Allison’s father had unexpectedly come home and caught them in Allison’s bed. They’d had sex before, but it wasn’t something they did regularly. If he had come home on some other day, the worst he would have caught them doing was slacking off on homework and playing music a little too loudly. But on this particular day, the music was too loud and they were a little too enamored with another to hear the garage door opening, or hear Mr. Cabral’s voice calling out to Allison or Mr. Cabral’s heavy footsteps. 

The reaction was swift.

Allison’s father called her mother, who came home immediately. Luisa’s father was out of the country at the time, but he’d gotten the message pretty quickly, and she knew from the look on his face when he got home a week later that she was in trouble. 

One of the qualities that Luisa appreciated in Allison was that she could be spontaneous and unpredictable, so she was always a challenge that kept Luisa on her toes. But she was completely blindsided by the way Allison put everything between them on _her_. Luisa wasn’t even sure how one person could be to blame for a relationship when it took two to tango, so to speak. 

But all Luisa knew was that Allison was blaming her for everything. She definitely didn’t see _that_ coming. 

Allison’s parents called a meeting with the school the next day. Luisa had to sit in the assistant principal’s office with Allison and her parents while they made a request that the school ensure she and Allison remain separated on school premises. Luisa sat there in silence, not that they asked for her input. Luisa didn’t blame her father for not showing up to the meeting, he was at one of their hotels in California, but it was still frightening to be in there alone. Even though he’d expressed how disappointed and ashamed he was when she’d talked to him on the phone the day before, it would have still been better to have him there than be alone. 

Luisa wasn’t sure if the other kids found out because someone overheard the meeting, or if Allison actively told people. All she knew was that other people knew, and that everyone looked at her like she was a predator, and Allison was a victim. Luisa learned that no matter how alone a person could feel, she could always feel _more_ alone. 

\--

Her father said if people found out she was “that way,” he would be too ashamed to ever show his face again and to keep it under wraps. That was new for her--- he’d never been ashamed of her. Never even hinted that he would be ashamed. He’d always been proud of her, proud that she was smart, proud of her talents. She never even knew he could be ashamed of her. He always veered between proud and uninterested that his shame was new.

She wished she still had her mother, because even though her memories of her mother were few in number, they were mostly positive. She thought her mother would understand, or at the very least, that her mother wouldn’t be ashamed of her. Luisa knew no one had a shred of sympathy for the idea of a poor little rich girl, but Luisa still felt very alone.

She still had friends at school, so her experience wasn’t completely miserable. But without Allison, her heart was obviously broken.

Allison didn’t speak to her for the rest of the three years of school and Luisa nursed hurt feelings and a broken heart the entire time. 

Luisa thought for sure it was a mistake, that Allison would find a way to call her, slip a note in her locker, anything. At the very least, explain why Allison had put it all on her. 

But she didn’t.

Luisa felt it was unreal—she didn’t think Allison could do this to her, wouldn’t leave her to deal with this herself, like she was the only one in this. 

But she had.

For a time, she thought maybe she was crazy and imagined everything in her head. But she had notes and pictures and all the little things teenaged girls exchanged with one another when they were in love. Luisa had a Mickey Mouse t-shirt that belonged to Allison from a family vacation to Disney World. This relationship could not have been solely created in her mind, but sometimes it felt that way because of the way Allison had so thoroughly left her behind. 

She tried to tell herself Allison was only doing this out of a sense of self-preservation. As disappointed as her father said he was, after the sting of his disappointment and shame in her passed, Luisa suspected he would come around. He had gay friends and he wasn’t a total homophobe. But Allison’s parents were assholes. 

Luisa felt lonely even as she threw herself into school, extracurriculars and hobbies. She threw herself into activities outside of school in which she could meet people who weren’t still assholes in high school. Growing up in the hotel industry, moving all around the world, and always being ahead in school, Luisa had never really been friends with people her own age. She’d always been friends with kids slightly older, or people much older, and when Luisa would look back on this, she would consider that maybe this is what started her path down to trouble, because as smart as she was, she’d always been an idiot in other ways. 

\--

Then one day, during the height of college application season, there was a note slipped into her locker. 

‘I’m applying here,’ the note read with a college brochure paper clipped to it.

Luisa was done with her application by 6pm that night.

A few months later, Allison left another note in her locker “I got in.”

There was no question that Luisa would get in—she would have gotten in anywhere. And in fact, before Allison slipped that note and brochure into her locker, Luisa was more focused on applying to schools out of state so she could get the hell out of Key West and start over some place else. But once Allison reached out, there was no question where Luisa would go. And anyway, the truth was, Luisa didn’t want to go somewhere too far from her brother. Her father would have allowed her to go anywhere that was prestigious enough even if he didn’t fully trust her yet. But he was happy that she selected a college that was within state and only a few hours away.   
\--

Foolishly, Luisa thought once she and Allison got to college, they could start all over again, but she was wrong. 

It’d been years since she’d had a conversation with Allison. Allison always ignored her at school and didn’t seem to care about her, but Luisa still watched her. She thought she knew Allison, but the more time passed, the more Luisa realized she was wrong. 

She was aware that Allison wasn’t always the nicest person, but there was a different side to her, too. Luisa thought Allison’s caustic attitude and constant infidelity were just the prices she had to pay to be with someone who possessed all of Allison’s good qualities—the beauty, the brains, the talent and the humor.

Luisa didn’t really expect college to open her mind—she was self-centered enough to believe that college could be intellectually challenging, but it wouldn’t be _that_ challenging. At least not for her. 

What she hadn’t counted on was that it could open her eyes up to so many other things, and after a while, she really couldn’t look at Allison quite the same way.

When it came to Allison, she always thought that saying ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best’ was fitting. Luisa loved Allison at her best, so she accepted some of Allison’s worst behaviors because she assumed that was the price _everyone_ paid for love.

Then she started to meet people who may not always be on their best behavior, but their worst behavior was never malicious or cruel. 

When Allison called Rafael a brat, it wasn’t the word itself. It was the staunch refusal to see that she’d hurt Rafael’s feelings, and that Allison just didn’t care about Rafael or that he was the most important person in Luisa’s life. 

What Luisa started to see that even at her best, Allison was pretty shitty, and her bad days outnumbered her good days, and that people who lived by the motto ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best,’ were pretty terrible because Luisa had come to believe that people should actively try to be better than their worst, especially when they were aware of what their worst qualities were.

When Luisa finally ended things with Allison, it had been a long time coming. Her commitment to the relationship had been half-hearted at best for months, and she finally saw things clearly. She was still sad when it was over, but she felt relieved, too.   
\--

The first time Luisa met Rose, Rose accidentally threw her coffee on her.

Luisa could admit that she probably would have been a lot more annoyed to be drenched with coffee if Rose hadn’t been the most attractive person she’d ever seen. Any irritation slipped away when she saw the redhead holding an empty coffee cup and apologizing profusely. 

She thought Rose was so pretty, it was _unreal_ , and she couldn’t help smiling like a dope while Rose continued to apologize over and over again. She didn’t care she was covered in coffee, she just wanted to stare a little longer at Rose’s exquisitely perfect face.

Walking next to Rose en route to their dorm that first day they ever met, Luisa was filled with nervous energy. She just couldn’t believe that real people actually looked like Rose. If she’d ever been uncertain if she was gay, the thoughts she had when she looked at Rose the first time made it pretty obvious that she was a lesbian.

\--

Rose was unfairly pretty, but she was also smart, sweet and funny. Luisa immediately felt a kinship with her.

Rose was thoughtful with her in a way that Luisa had never experienced, and most importantly, Rose was consistent. She was never mean just because something didn’t go her way, and she didn’t lash out at Luisa just because she was having a bad day. Rose was always sweet and good to her, no matter what.

Spending time with Rose made Luisa realize enduring someone’s bad behavior wasn’t the cost of occasionally getting someone’s good side. 

Rose was a human being who had her bad days, but she never made Luisa feel like she had to suffer for them. Sometimes it was hard for Luisa to believe that someone like Rose wanted to be friends with her, and Luisa couldn’t help but want to spend as much time around her as possible. 

One of the highlights of her freshman year were the Wednesdays she spent watching _Dragnet_ with Rose. The show itself was nothing special, even though Luisa had to admit that she’d actually really liked certain episodes. She liked making fun of it with Rose, and she liked that she had little in-jokes with Rose. Sometimes, they’d walk somewhere and Rose would say “this is the university—the University of Miami. A lot of people go here, and some of them are real douchey, and sometimes that’s my problem. I carry a student ID. It was Friday, November 15. It was warm. We received a notification that classes were in session, so we went to work. My name’s Ruvelle. My partner’s name is Alver.” Rose would always make her voice lower and gravelly to imitate Joe Friday, and Luisa would think that was both sexy and hilarious. It was a difficult feat to achieve, but of course, Rose always managed to do it. 

Luisa always liked to keep busy—it was a habit she picked up in high school when she was trying to forget Allison and keep her mind off her broken heart. It didn’t always work because her mind had a tendency to fixate, but if she wanted to try to keep her mind off something, the best way to do that was to keep busy. But Luisa didn’t want to particularly do all those things alone, and Rose was the only person who was always willing to try anything with her. 

No matter what it was, Rose was always willing to give it a try. It took some time, but Luisa realized that Rose was not particularly social, so Luisa stopped suggesting things that would attract large crowds, or she would suggest they do things on days where there would be fewer people. Rose never complained, and Luisa appreciated that Rose was always so willing to play with her. Rose seemed to accept Luisa unconditionally, and Luisa wasn’t about to abuse that by trying to get Rose to do activities she didn’t want to do. 

Rose was the warm, supportive friend that Luisa had always dreamed of, and now she was real. 

It took Luisa a little while to realize her attraction to Rose wasn’t purely physical. Luisa had been attracted to Rose immediately. Who could blame her? She knew she had a crush, but girls she was attracted to were never gay, at least not that she knew, Allison being the exception, and Allison had spent three years pretending she didn’t exist. She didn’t know if Rose was gay, and Luisa knew she wouldn’t have done anything about it even if Rose were, so she thought a physical attraction was no big deal because it was just never going to happen. 

But it turned into more than that. 

Luisa remembered the first time that changed for her. 

They’d finished watching a particularly preachy episode of _Dragnet_ that they mocked from beginning to end before hunkering down to study.

Luisa tried to open the can of Coke, and winced as the tab pushed into the paper cut on her thumb. She actually wanted something stronger than a Coke, but she didn’t want to give Rose a bad impression—it was only 4:30pm on a Wednesday, after all. 

Across from her, Rose opened her Coke and then offered it to Luisa. “Here.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Luisa said. “I just—“

“I hate paper cuts,” Rose said. She pushed the open can to Luisa and gently plucked the closed one from Luisa’s hands, and opened it. “I read somewhere once that there are more nerve endings in the finger tips than other areas of the body, and that’s why they are so painful.”

In that moment, Luisa was glad she was not a cartoon character, because she would have hearts in her eyes.

Rose was so sweet and caring, and Luisa had never before had a friend like that. No one ever seemed interested in anything she did or said before Rose. She just wanted to be around Rose as much as possible, and seeing Rose laugh or smile could make Luisa’s entire day. Rose also had this endearing tendency to whistle when she felt happy or accomplished. Luisa wasn’t even sure if Rose knew she was doing it, and it was always the same little tune every time, but hearing that whistle gave Luisa butterflies. 

\--

It took Luisa longer than she’d care to admit to let go of the fantasy of getting married to Allison, but when she was honest with herself, it was just her brain that was still attached to it. Her heart just wasn’t in it anymore, and she was tired of being treated badly—especially once she realized it wasn’t normal for people to be horrible. 

There was a point in the movie, _Clueless_ where Cher realizes to the tune of “All By Myself” that she was in majorly, totally, butt crazy in love Josh. Luisa had a similar realization sharing a churro with Rose the night before the Spring Quarter started.

She’d finally ended things with Allison, and Luisa just wanted to get away for a while. Erin had sang a unique rendition of ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead,’ and Rose was finally back at the dorm, and Luisa knew she could count on Rose to accompany her to get some air. 

While Erin and Kara had assumed that she was happy about her breakup with Allison as they were, Rose had genuinely cared to ask if she was okay. 

It was a pretty standard question after a break up, but Rose had once again shown her so much sincere concern, and then Luisa thought back to all the multitude of ways in such a short time that Rose was the most loving person in her life, and that of all the people in the world, she trusted Rose the most. 

There weren’t fireworks, and she didn’t come to a standstill, but she had realized that she was in love with Rose.

She wasn’t sure if Rose liked girls—with the exception of Allison, no girl she’d ever been attracted to was ever a lesbian. No girl she ever liked even questioned their sexuality. And even if, on the off chance, Rose did like girls, there was no chance that Rose liked _her_ , because Luisa had never been particularly lucky in terms of reciprocity of her feelings. But she did know that she was in love with Rose. 

But Rose was the best friend she ever had, and she just couldn’t imagine she’d ever have better. Luisa wanted to keep Rose in her life, and so Luisa knew she would have to take her secret with her to her grave.

One day, just a few days after Luisa broke up with Allison, Rose stopped by just the check in while Luisa was studying and listening to ‘I Will Always Love You.’

“Hey,” Rose said with a grin. “You’re listening to Whitney’s version. Does that mean you’re ready to move on?”

Luisa had always preferred Dolly’s original, and she’d also believe that Dolly’s version was the one to listen to when a person was heartbroken, but Whitney’s version was the one to listen to when a person was ready to move on. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever told Rose that because it was exactly the kind of drunk shit that she tended to spew when she had too much to drink, and Luisa had to admit that she liked to have too much to drink. In any case, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever told Rose that, but she must have because the question was way too specific, and she wondered if Rose actually remembered everything she said, or if Rose just had a good memory. Maybe it was both.

“I am,” Luisa affirmed.

Rose was clearly relieved. “That’s great.”

\--

Their schedules for spring quarter did line up to have free time after 4:30pm on Thursdays. 

After flipping through the stations, they decided to keep up with their tradition of old TV shows, and settled on _M*A*S*H_.

“Hey, it’s Bill Gannon!” Rose said, pointing at the TV where Harry Morgan was playing Col. Potter. 

Luisa grinned. “It’s a sign.”

Rose snuggled into her. “I guess it is.”

_M*A*S*H_ was an objectively better show than _Dragnet_ , but Luisa would have watched anything if it meant spending time with Rose. But it made Luisa happy that the show made Rose genuinely laugh because it was funny, and not because it was ridiculous. 

“Hey, fella?” 

“Yes, lady”

“Allison is leaving you alone, right?” Rose asked, concerned. “She’s not bothering you?”

“She’s leaving me alone, more or less,” Luisa said. She got a few hate-filled voicemails, but Luisa suspected that it was more due to Allison’s bruised ego over being the one dumped than any actual feelings for her. Sometimes, when they saw each other on campus, Allison would send a sneer her way, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. When she thought back on their relationship, Luisa realized loved Allison and Allison just found her convenient. 

“Okay,” Rose said. “Well, let me know if she bothers you.”

Luisa chuckled. “And what would you do?”

“I would take care of it.”

Rose sounded very serious, but Luisa knew that Rose had to be joking. 

“Oh?” Luisa asked, genuinely curious. “What would you do?”

Rose paused. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I’d do whatever it took to take care of it.”

“Would you have her killed?” Luisa teased. 

“If that response was warranted, I might,” Rose said seriously 

Luisa swallowed hard, but she felt the need to lighten the mood that suddenly seemed so serious. “She doesn’t care enough about me that you would have to do that,” Luisa said lightly. 

“She’s a moron.”

How could she not fall in love with Rose? No one had ever instinctually jumped to her defense like that.

“By the way,” Rose said. “Did you know that on Wednesdays, they are doing salsa this quarter?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t want to check it out?”

“I do,” Luisa answered honestly. “But I know that crowds of people really aren’t your thing, and…” Luisa trailed off. She really didn’t want to go with anyone other than Rose.

“No, I want to try it,” Rose said. “Maybe we can finally join in when people start salsa dancing at the Havana Tavern.”

Luisa brightened. “Really?”

She loved their monthly nights at their Cuban restaurant, and had always wanted to learn salsa.

“Yeah,” Rose said. “Let’s go next week, okay?”

“Yeah!”

Luisa wanted to squeal at Rose’s thoughtfulness.

\--  
The salsa class was _fun_. Luisa had grown up with the music, but never learned to dance. Still, she found that she picked up on it pretty quickly. Even though the class tended to pair the men and women, Luisa liked it best when she there were more women than men, and she could just pair up with Rose. 

She’d taken so many dance classes with Rose, pairing up with Rose was just easy. 

Luisa liked to lead, but she had to admit that it was easier when Rose did because Rose was taller and physically stronger. The pressure of Rose’s hands in hers was always comfortable, and when they danced, it felt like their bodies were in harmony, even when they could both be a little klutzy. 

There was no pressure to be perfect or to even be good. If one of them failed, they’d always dissolve into giggles. 

“This wouldn’t have happened if you let me lead,” Luisa chided. 

“If I let you lead, we wouldn’t even be this good,” Rose shot back.

“Are you saying that you’re carrying us?”

“I’m saying that I’ve seen you dance with some of these guys, and you’re better with me than you are with them, so yes, I have to believe it’s me who makes you good.”

“Well, _I’ve_ seen _you_ dance with these guys, and you’re better with me than you are with them, so _I_ think it’s me who makes _you_ good.”

“But when I dance with these dorks, they’re leading. When I dance with you, _I’m_ leading. So it _is_ me.”

This provoked Luisa’s deeply-rooted competitive streak. 

“Everyone knows the girl carries the team!” Luisa said. 

“Yes,” Rose agreed. “But we long ago decided that I’m lady, and you’re fella. So….” Rose trailed off and smiled mischievously. 

Luisa huffed, but knew that Rose had won this round. She wanted to suggest a competition to see who was the better dancer, but she knew that to do so, they’d have to pair off with some of the guys, and Luisa didn’t want to dance with these other bozos if she could just dance with Rose. 

Rose smiled at her victory. “See? I knew you’d rather dance with me.”

“I’ve told you, I’m happy just to dance with you,” Luisa said grumpily. “Although maybe not so much as this very moment in time.”

Rose chuckled affectionately. “If somebody tries to take my place, let’s pretend we just can’t see his face,” she sang softly.

Luisa laughed softly. She could never pout for very long. “In this world there’s nothing I’d rather do, ‘cause I’m happy just to dance with you,” she sang.

Rose smiled triumphantly. “See?”

Luisa pouted. “Can’t we just say we make each other the best we can be?” she wheedled.

Rose laughed. “Okay,” she murmured. “I can live with that.”

\--

The first time they went to Havana House after about a month of salsa lessons, neither she nor Rose were quite brave enough to get on the dance floor, but when the band played ‘Shining Star,’ by the Manhattans, Luisa pulled Rose onto the dance floor. 

Luisa hummed along with the song. It was definitely one her favorites, but she didn’t realize how _intimate_ the song was. Of course, the best songs were. 

“I love this song,” Luisa murmured. And she wished so desperately she could just look Rose in the face and tell her, ‘I love you,’ but Luisa was not ready for the changes that declaration could potentially bring. At best, Rose would let her down gently, and they could still be friends. At worst, Rose would be horrified and her best friend would turn away from her. 

It’d happened once before with Allison, and though she knew Rose was a _much_ better person than Allison had any potential to be, Luisa knew she simply could not endure the heartbreak and loneliness of Rose ignoring her the next few years until graduation. 

She couldn’t even acknowledged that fragile part of her that hoped Rose could possibly reciprocate those feelings.

“I love it, too,” Rose said softly. 

For now, Luisa hugged Rose a little closer. With her head resting on Rose’s shoulder as they swayed to the music, Luisa decided this would be enough. Luisa long ago learned that she had to accept certain things, and this had to be one of them.

\--

Luisa had to make a conscious effort not to stare at Rose. It was kind of difficult because human beings were naturally drawn to beauty, and Luisa really did believe that Rose was the most gorgeous human being she ever laid eyes on. Rose was intimidatingly beautiful. Sometimes, she would be in a foul mood, and then just seeing Rose’s face made her feel better. But she knew she couldn’t just stare at Rose all day, so Luisa made a conscious effort not to stare, and she made a conscious effort not to let her eyes roam all over Rose’s face or her body, but to maintain eye contact. She knew if she didn’t make an effort to make eye contact, she would be caught staring, and she just couldn’t risk that.  
\--

Luisa was an avid reader of the school newspaper, more out of boredom than any actual interest. She’d read the paper between classes or any free time she spent on campus. She started to read the local newspaper as well, which is how she found out that there would be an upcoming _Sound of Music _Sing-along at the Miramar Amphitheatre.__

__Luisa purchased tickets as soon as she got home. She purchased them before she really thought about how they would get to the venue since freshman weren’t allowed to bring their cars to school. Most of the time when they did something that was too far to walk to, they just took the bus since transportation around the city was free with their student ID. But even though the Amphitheatre was only about 35 minutes driving distance, Luisa didn’t want to rely on the bus schedule, and anyway, she wanted to make the night special for Rose and that did not involve a bus._ _

__Luisa wasn’t even entirely sure Rose would enjoy the event, but the _Sound of Music_ was Rose’s favorite movie since it reminded her of a time when her parents were still good to one another, so Luisa thought it was a safe bet, even if it would probably be pretty corny. _ _

__But Luisa thought that could be a selling point since Rose seemed to surreptitiously enjoy things that were a little corny. She loved a dorky pun and enjoyed word play, and was definitely an undercover nerd._ _

__Luisa then asked Rose to reserve that particular weekend without giving telling her exactly the reason._ _

__The weekend before the sing-along, Luisa decided to go home for a weekend to pick up her car and just pay the exorbitant parking fees on campus. She picked up some of the peach ice cream that Rose liked, and was treated to a big smile and a hug because of it. Luisa’s allergy to peaches was very mild, so she wished her little brother hadn’t exposed her like that because it made her a little sad that she was allergic to something Rose enjoyed. Almost like it was a bad sign. What if peaches were Rose’s favorite food in the entire world?_ _

__She swiped a picnic basket from the hotel and on the day of the sing-along, she retrieved her car, went grocery shopping to fill her picnic basket, stuffed her picnic basket into the backseat and had Rose meet her in front of the dorm._ _

__“It’s the crap bucket!” Rose exclaimed once she opened the door._ _

__Luisa rubbed her steering wheel. “Bessie can hear you, you know.”_ _

__Rose got inside and put on her seatbelt. “Bessie is a name better suited to a cow, Luisa.”_ _

__Luisa began to drive. “Well, cows are good and pretty, and Bessie is good and pretty, so I guess it fits.”_ _

__Rose smiled crookedly. “Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.”_ _

__“This car is my baby.”_ _

__“A mother’s love is truly blind.”_ _

__Luisa could not suppress a laugh. “Okay, so she’s not so pretty anymore and is getting on in years, but does that mean I have to replace her?_ _

__Rose smiled. “I can appreciate your loyalty.”_ _

__“Thank you for coming around from your ageist point of view.”_ _

__Rose scoffed, but she stopped mocking the car. “So, are you ever going to tell me where we’re going?”_ _

__“I’ll tell you later.”_ _

__“Sounds ominous, how do I know you’re not going to take me somewhere to murder me?”_ _

__“Oh, if I were going to murder you, I wouldn’t have allowed it to be a known fact that I’m with you today. They always look at the last known person to see the victim alive.”_ _

__“That doesn’t bring me great comfort. You do seem to take pride in believing you would make a better criminal than I would.”_ _

__“Rose, I never said I would make the better criminal. I said I would be a better criminal _mastermind_. I would be great at being the brains behind an operation, but wouldn’t do as well with the labor-intensive part.”_ _

__“Are you calling me a peasant?”_ _

__“Pleasant?” Luisa asked, confused._ _

__“ _Peasant_ ,” Rose enunciated. “Why would I be upset with you calling me pleasant?”_ _

__Luisa shrugged. “You like coming across as a misanthrope, even though you are so nice and squishy on the inside. Like a marshmallow.”_ _

__“I am not nice and squishy on the inside. Inside my exoskeleton is concrete and steel.”_ _

__“Yes, you are,” Luisa declared. “You’re always nice to me. Inside your exoskeleton is squishy, gushy stuff.”_ _

__“Gross. And I’m only nice to you.”_ _

__“You brought up the exoskeleton. And you’re nice to Erin and Kara.”_ _

__“You always take it one step too far with the squish, and we live with Erin and Kara.”_ _

__Luisa turned her head to look at Rose. “Well, you’re nice to other people!”_ _

__“Luisa, _please_ keep your eyes on the road.” _ _

__“I’m a decent driver,” Luisa defended. “And you _are_ nice.”_ _

__“I don’t play well with other people,” Rose said._ _

__“You play well with me.”_ _

__“Yeah, but not with other people. Maybe just you.”_ _

__“Well, other people are saboteurs.”_ _

__“You’re thinking about dodgeball again, aren’t you?”_ _

__“Well, that wasn’t fair!”_ _

__“I know, honey. You would have destroyed them.”_ _

__“Yeah, I would!” Luis said proudly. “You know what we should do one day? We should take a road trip. I’ll drive.”_ _

__“Luisa, I will go anywhere with you, but as for you driving on a long road trip—honey, no offense, but _absolutely_ not.”_ _

__There were two things she thought about in that moment. One, that Rose called her ‘honey,’ twice and two, Luisa had to defend her honor. Luisa was going to defend herself, but she had to brake very suddenly, and both she and Rose jerked forward. Luisa decided her defense was best suited for another day._ _

__“You’d really want to go on a road trip with me?” Luisa asked._ _

__“Sure,” Rose said. “But you can’t drive.”_ _

__It seemed like a good compromise, and Luisa put that thought away for another day._ _

__“So, will you tell me now where we’re going? We’ve been driving for 20 minutes.”_ _

__“Yes, I will,” Luisa said. “Um—I know this will sound really corny, but there’s this _Sound of Music _sing-along, and I bought tickets for us. I know it’s your favorite movie, and it just sounds kind of fun, so I thought we could go. And if you think it’s lame, we could leave and just sit down at a park or something because I packed food for us, and—” Luisa was getting flustered and when she got flustered, she started to speak faster and ramble.___ _

____“Luisa,” Rose cut off gently. “That sounds like a lot of fun. Thank you. I definitely want to go, and I definitely will _not_ want to leave, even if it is lame because I still have fun with you when something is lame. I’ve watched a lot of episodes of _Dragnet_ to prove it. And anyway, no matter what, we’ll be watching the movie, right? So, it’ll be fun.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa was relieved. “Okay, great.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____After Luisa parked, she opened the backseat to pull out the picnic basket._ _ _ _

____“What’s that?” Rose asked._ _ _ _

____“Oh,” Luisa said. “We can bring food, so I brought us some stuff.”_ _ _ _

____Rose’s smile was wide. “You did? That’s so sweet.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa loved the way Rose smiled._ _ _ _

____Rose reached for the basket to carry it, but Luisa pulled it away. “I got it, don’t worry,” Luisa said as they started to walk into the venue. “I’d never take you out and _not_ feed you, lady.”_ _ _ _

____“I get that, fella,” Rose said. “But you really didn’t have to do all this. The movie is enough.”_ _ _ _

____“How can you watch a movie and not eat? People who can do that are psychopaths.”_ _ _ _

____Rose’s smile was teasing. “And what about people who order a ton of food and only take about four bites before saying they’re full?”_ _ _ _

____“Those people have poor impulse-control,” Luisa said. “But can also be criminal masterminds, so don’t push it, lady.”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled. “Gotcha.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____It had been a few years since Luisa had seen the movie, but she genuinely forgot that it had been so Nazi heavy, which was ridiculous considering the whole reason they were climbing the mountain at the end of the movie was because they were fleeing from the Nazis._ _ _ _

____Watching it with Rose, and singing along with an entire amphitheater of people, Luisa had a newfound appreciation for the movie. And she thought it was cute that Rose knew every word without having to follow along with the words at the bottom of the screen._ _ _ _

____The picnic Luisa packed was nothing special—just a couple of sandwiches from the deli section of the grocery store, a couple of sodas, a couple bottles of water, fruit and some other snacks. Luisa had a tendency to overdo things, so she brought more than enough food for this event, but she was glad she did so that Rose could have a variety to choose from, even if she generally knew by now what kind of food Rose liked._ _ _ _

____Luisa had liked girls for as long as she could remember, and she was mostly out, especially now that she was in college. It’s not like she told everyone she knew, but she didn’t try to hide it like she did in high school either. So, Luisa knew that Rose knew she was gay, but she had no idea what Rose was, because Rose gave any indication of ever liking _anyone_._ _ _ _

____In the time-honored tradition of trying to ascertain the sexuality of someone, Luisa used the movie to try to get an idea of the kind of person Rose may be into._ _ _ _

____“Wow, I forgot Julie Andrews is so pretty,” Luisa said._ _ _ _

____“Yes, she is,” Rose said, as they watched the opening scene in which Julie Andrews sang about the hills being alive._ _ _ _

____Later, in the movie, Luisa tried again._ _ _ _

____“Wow, Liesel is so pretty,” Luisa commented. And Liesel was indeed, very pretty. The actress’s eyes were very blue and reminded Luisa of Rose._ _ _ _

____“Well, she’s a teenager, and you’re a teenager, so of course you would think so,” Rose teased._ _ _ _

____“Hey!” Luisa said. “So are you!”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, but you’re more of a teenager than I am.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Thinking that girls weren’t Rose’s cup of tea, Luisa turned her attention to Christopher Plummer. Luisa briefly considered saying that Rolf was handsome, but Luisa just could not bring herself to say that about a character who was a Nazi._ _ _ _

____“The Captain is very handsome and brave,” Luisa said as she watched Captain Von Trapp rip a Nazi flag._ _ _ _

____“Yes,” Rose agreed._ _ _ _

____Luisa suppressed a sigh. Why couldn’t Rose respond to subtlety and just give her a hint? It’s not that Luisa would do anything about it, but she just wanted to _know_. Like, if Rose actually were gay, then Luisa would somehow feel less lonely, even if nothing ever happened to them. It didn’t make any logical sense, but Luisa was never really blessed with logic. _ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Those brief exchanges were the most conversation they had during the movie outside of a couple of “please pass the napkins” and “thank yous.” But as they walked back to the car, Luisa was still energized from singing along in unison with a few thousand other people._ _ _ _

____“I never realized that this is actually a good movie,” Luisa said as they walked back to the car. She swung the basket as she walked. “Like, I just thought it was one of those movies everyone liked more out of a sense of collective nostalgia than any kind of merit. But it’s actually really good,” Luisa said. “Like, I know they weren’t in any real danger of getting caught by the Nazis, but I wonder what happened to the nuns. The Nazis must have killed them all because Rolf was such a rat. That dumbfuck.”_ _ _ _

____Rose looked stricken. “I never thought about that.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah! I didn’t think about it before either, because when the nuns confessed to the Mother Superior about messing with the cars, it just seemed funny, but afterward, I thought about what the Nazis would do to the nuns. And you could really sympathize with the Captain when he was singing ‘Edelweiss’ for the last the time because he knew he’d probably never be able to go home again. When you really think about what they were losing and everything they were going to go through climbing the Alps with no food or water and seven kids, you just knew the Von Trapps are going to go through hell. And you know that even if the story itself isn’t real, there are so many people who go through this—fleeing from war and trying to get to somewhere safe. I never realized how good this movie was until now.”_ _ _ _

____“The Von Trapps are a real family, you know.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa’s eyes were wide. “They _are_?!”_ _ _ _

____“Yes,” Rose said._ _ _ _

____They’d reached Luisa’s car. Luisa opened Rose’s door for her._ _ _ _

____“Thanks,” Rose said._ _ _ _

____“Sure,” Luisa smiled. She opened her backseat and put the picnic basket away._ _ _ _

____By the time Luisa reached the driver’s side door, Rose had already opened it for her._ _ _ _

____“Thanks,” Luisa said as she sat. “So, wait. The Von Trapps are a real family?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah. I know that the movie is fictionalized, but they are a real family, and they took elements from their real lives for the movie.”_ _ _ _

____“Wow, I never knew. No wonder you like this movie so much.”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled. “I have to confess—my love for this movie was never that deep,” she said. “I love it because it’s pretty and has pretty songs,” she said. “And it was probably one of the last things I watched with my parents before they started hating each other. But I definitely did not love it for its merits as a story of survival through World War II. I often forget Nazis are in the movie even though it’s such a big part of it.”_ _ _ _

____“Me too!” Luisa said. “Same! I’m so glad. Hey, what was up with Von Trapp all, like, instigating and telling Rolf, ‘you’ll never really be theirs.’ Dude, these are Nazis, just shut up and run!” Luisa started to drive._ _ _ _

____“That has always bothered me. And the fact that he invited Rolf to ditch the Nazis and join them. I mean, what about Liesel? Liesel may not want to flee to Switzerland with her Nazi ex-boyfriend. And even if she did, does Von Trapp want his daughter to get pregnant while they’re on the run like that? He was asking for trouble. I’m sure he was just trying to get out a bad situation, but it seemed like a bad idea.”_ _ _ _

____“If Rolf had agreed to come with him, the Captain would have killed him.” Luisa was confident about that._ _ _ _

____“But then Liesel would have been _pissed_.”_ _ _ _

____“Liesel is not a fool. She wouldn’t endanger the lives her six brothers and sisters, her father and her stepmother for some stupid Nazi boy who has an inflated sense of ego.”_ _ _ _

____Rose bit back a smile. “You’re just saying that because you think Liesel is pretty,” she teased._ _ _ _

____Luisa chuckled. “I’ve always been a sucker for a pretty face.”_ _ _ _

____“Me too,” Rose said softly._ _ _ _

____Did that mean Rose was a sucker for a pretty girl, or a pretty boy? Luisa had no idea. Pretty was something more associated with girls, but Luisa had seen her fair share of boys who could be described as pretty. Damn it. Luisa now wished she’d said she’d always been a sucker for a pretty girl instead of saying she was a sucker for a pretty face. Luisa gripped the steering wheel harder. Why didn’t she ever think before she spoke? Damn!_ _ _ _

____Luisa turned to look at Rose hoping she’d get some clarification._ _ _ _

____Rose was looking back at her, and Luisa couldn’t stop the grin from forming on her face. She could look at that face all day._ _ _ _

____“Eyes on the road, Luisa,” Rose said, sounding a little panicked._ _ _ _

____Luisa turned her eyes back to the road. She decided to try to prod a little. “I mean. I think that’s why I was such a sucker for Allison for so long. Always a sucker for a pretty girl.”_ _ _ _

____Through her peripheral vision, Luisa could see Rose make a face._ _ _ _

____“Allison is not that pretty,” Rose said. “I don’t see anything attractive about her. No matter how pretty a girl is, having a personality like that renders her unfuckable to me. A personality like Allison’s is as bad as poor hygiene.”_ _ _ _

____Had Rose just come out to her?_ _ _ _

____Luisa wasn’t sure, and she couldn’t say anything other than “oh.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh my God,” Rose said. “Are you getting back together with Allison?”_ _ _ _

____“What? No!”_ _ _ _

____Why would Rose think that?_ _ _ _

____Luisa did see Allison around campus, and it was always _excruciating_. Sometimes they talked, and sometimes they didn’t, but every single time they saw one another, Luisa was glad they broke up, and she wondered what the hell she’d been thinking being so broken-hearted for so long over her. Looking back on it, there were times when it seemed like Allison actively tried to break her heart. If nothing else, Luisa now knew what things she _didn’t_ want in a partner, and she definitely didn’t want someone who was shameless about being mean. _ _ _ _

____“Okay, good, because you could do a lot better than Allison, Luisa.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, yeah,” Luisa said. “I didn’t realize personality was that important to you,” she said, trying to move away from the topic of Allison._ _ _ _

____“Why? I’m not that shallow.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa shrugged. “I’m shallow,” Luisa said. “If a girl is hot enough, she wouldn’t even have to know how to read. I would totally sleep with her.”_ _ _ _

____Rose laughed. “Well, sure, if it’s just sex, I would sleep with a hot, dumb girl, too.” Rose paused. “And I think I have,” she added. “I’m sure they could read, but they were definitely dumb.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa was glad she was trying extra hard to be a good driver because otherwise she would have swerved into the car next to her. Okay, so _had_ Rose just come out to her? Or did that just mean Rose had slept with girls, but it really wasn’t her thing. _ _ _ _

____Luisa swallowed hard. “See.”_ _ _ _

____“See what?” Rose asked. “Being dumb isn’t really a character flaw. Not necessarily. But being an evil bitch is. I said I’d sleep with a hot, dumb girl. Not a hot, mean girl. People can’t always help being ding dongs, but people can definitely help being mean.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa was giddy, but she made every effort from showing it. Because she’d finally gotten confirmation that Rose would at least sleep with a girl._ _ _ _

____“What if she were really _really_ hot?” Luisa asked. “But still mean.”_ _ _ _

____“How hot?”_ _ _ _

____“ _Really really_ hot.”_ _ _ _

____“Like who?”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t know,” Luisa said. “Who do you find attractive?”_ _ _ _

____“But you didn’t say attractive, you said really, really hot. So I want to know what you mean. Julie Andrews in _The Sound of Music_ is attractive, but she is not _really, really_ hot that if she were horrible, I would want to sleep with her. Although the fact that she was a former nun is honestly kind of a bonus.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa grinned. Rose was weird. But Luisa was weird, and Luisa kind of liked weird. “Well, who is someone horrible that you would sleep with?”_ _ _ _

____“I can’t think of a single horrible person that I would be willing to sleep with. Truly.”_ _ _ _

____“You know,” Luisa said. “Serial killers have groupies. Lots of people are willing to sleep with horrible people who aren’t even attractive.”_ _ _ _

____“I know they do,” Rose said. “And I think that’s really weird. Too weird for me.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I guess serial killers are too weird for me, too. I’m definitely not going to get a prison pen pal,” Luisa said. “Not if I didn’t know them before they went into the hoosegow anyway.”_ _ _ _

____Rose was quiet for a moment. “You’re kind of weird,” she said, but her voice was filled with affection. “But it’s nice to know you’re not going to get a prison pen pal, at least not as a new friend.” Rose chuckled. “But I’m going to count on you to write to me if I end up in prison.”_ _ _ _

____“I’d break you out.”_ _ _ _

____“You’d commit a federal crime for me?” Rose teased._ _ _ _

____“If you were in prison, I would assume you were framed or wrongfully convicted. Possibly both,” Luisa said seriously. “I would never leave you to that fate.”_ _ _ _

____“What if I did the crime?”_ _ _ _

____Luisa paused. “Maybe I’d still break you out. I’d be lonely without you.”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled. “We’d have to live our lives on the lam.”_ _ _ _

____“A day on the lam still sounds better than a day in prison.”_ _ _ _

____“What’s in it for you?” Rose asked. “I mean, if I’m a fugitive, then obviously a day on the lam is better than a day in prison, but why break me out and go on the lam if you’re already free.”_ _ _ _

____“I’d be on the outside without you. I’d rather be on the lam with you than have you in prison and me on the outside. Who would I watch old TV shows with?”_ _ _ _

____Rose swallowed thickly. “And where would we go?”_ _ _ _

____“Somewhere with a non-extradition treaty,” Luisa said._ _ _ _

____“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” Rose said. “Maybe you _would_ make a good criminal mastermind.”_ _ _ _

____“I would just keep you out of prison. Although I’d make sure you get a good attorney. I think my dad has the kind of money to keep you out of prison.”_ _ _ _

____Rose smiled. “You’d do that for me?”_ _ _ _

____“If you went to prison, who would I dance with?”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, so it’s for your own selfish purposes.”_ _ _ _

____“I never said that _I_ had a good personality.”_ _ _ _

____Rose snorted in disbelief. “I feel tricked. Here I thought you did.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa laughed. “So, personality is important to you.”_ _ _ _

____“I think personality is important to everyone.”_ _ _ _

____“Not necessarily.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s true,” Rose agreed. “But I’ve never slept with someone who I didn’t like.”_ _ _ _

____“So you have to be in love with them to sleep with them?”_ _ _ _

____“No, I didn’t mean that,” Rose said. “I’ve slept with people I wasn’t in love with. I meant that in order to sleep with them, I wouldn’t mind being around them and having a conversation with them. You know, that they weren’t a totally objectionable person.”_ _ _ _

____“I’ve only slept with Allison,” Luisa admitted quietly._ _ _ _

____“And she is totally objectionable. She wasn’t good enough for you. Now we just have to make sure you find someone that isn’t totally horrible. Maybe I could screen your dates for you from now on.”_ _ _ _

____“Thanks,” Luisa said softly. The problem was, there was only one person that Luisa wanted to go on a date with, and that person had just offered to screen Luisa’s dates for her, which obviously meant that Rose didn’t want to be a date._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa always had a hard time sleeping unless she was completely exhausted. She always had so much energy that if she didn’t go to bed physically and mentally exhausted, she could stay up all night or her sleep would be disturbed and she’d wake up every few hours._ _ _ _

____That night, Luisa struggled to sleep as she thought about having received confirmation that Rose liked girls. Or at the very least, had slept with girls in the past. Luisa knew that changed nothing. Just because she knew now that Rose liked girls, it didn’t mean Rose liked _her_ , which was the thing Luisa actually wanted. But it did mean that her poor heart set a little harder on Rose. _ _ _ _

____Everyone liked Rose, and Luisa knew quite a few people in the dorm had crushes on Rose. She’d heard people talking about it. At a minimum, quite a few boys had commented on how _hot_ Rose was, which was indisputable to Luisa. _ _ _ _

____It’s not like Rose expressed any interest back, but Luisa had to admit that she got irrationally jealous when she heard people commenting on Rose. She tried to quell that because she knew jealousy and possessiveness were not attractive personality qualities, but she sometimes thought about how nice it would be to whisk Rose off to an island paradise without breaking her out of prison first._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____The next day, Luisa had to take her car back to the Maracay. She wasn’t looking forward to the drive there and taking the train back since it was about six hours round trip, but she thought it was totally worth it._ _ _ _

____When Luisa opened her door around 10am, she was surprised to see Rose waiting across the hall, leaning against her door jamb._ _ _ _

____“Hi!” Luisa greeted._ _ _ _

____Rose smiled. “Hi,” she said. “I know you’re taking your car back to the Maracay. I know it’s a long drive, and if you want company, then maybe I can tag along. “_ _ _ _

____Luisa grinned. “Even though you think I’m a bad driver?”_ _ _ _

____“Maybe you could let me drive?”_ _ _ _

____“I’ve never let another woman other than me touch Bessie.”_ _ _ _

____“You’ll see,” Rose said. “I know how to treat a lady. Let me drive.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa hesitated. Not because she didn’t want Rose to drive—she would have given Rose anything. But driving could be so tiring._ _ _ _

____“We could take turns,” Luisa suggested._ _ _ _

____“Okay,” Rose said. “I’ll start.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa loved her old ass car for the mere reason that her father and grandfather both owned it before her. It had definitely seen better days, but there was just a continuity knowing it had passed from her grandfather’s hands to her father’s and then to her. Her father offered to buy her a later model car, but Luisa loved driving Bessie._ _ _ _

____Luisa loved being on the road. She really hadn’t prepped to take this drive back home with Rose, but they stopped at a convenience store to pick up some snacks before they left Miami for Key West. With music on the radio, and Rose by her side, Luisa thought this was a pretty great way to spend a Sunday._ _ _ _

____Rose drove for the first half of the trip, and Luisa had to admit (only to herself) that between the two of them, Rose was the superior driver. They stopped off at the midway point to have lunch._ _ _ _

____They both had to use the bathroom, but Rose went to use it first while Luisa got seated._ _ _ _

____“If the waitress comes, could you order an iced tea and something to eat for me?”_ _ _ _

____“What do you want?”_ _ _ _

____Rose shrugged. “I don’t know, surprise me. You know what I like,” she said as she walked off._ _ _ _

____Luisa stared at the menu, anxious. She did know what Rose liked, but this was a lot of pressure. What if she ordered Rose a French dip sandwich, but she actually wanted a chicken salad? Luisa prayed that the server would take her sweet time._ _ _ _

____When she saw Rose approaching the table again, Luisa sighed with relief._ _ _ _

____Luisa got up._ _ _ _

____“Did the server come by?” Rose asked._ _ _ _

____“No, not yet.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, okay. Did you decide what you want?”_ _ _ _

____She’d spent so much time thinking about what Rose would want, she really hadn’t thought about what she wanted._ _ _ _

____“Oh. No,” Luisa said. “If she comes, can you order a Sprite for me? And just get me whatever, you know what I like.”_ _ _ _

____When Luisa got back to the table, there was a Sprite at her place setting, and Rose was still looking at the menu._ _ _ _

____“The server did come by, but I told her we needed more time,” Rose said apologetically. “I’m still looking.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa smiled. “That’s okay.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Once they ordered and their food was brought out to them, Luisa readjusted her plate so that her curly fries would be a little closer to Rose, because any time Luisa got fries and Rose didn’t, Rose could be counted on to swipe a few fries from Luisa’s plate. Luisa bit back a smile every time Rose did. Luisa thought it was just so cute. Sometimes, Luisa ordered things just because Rose sometimes stole food off her plate._ _ _ _

____Luisa drove the rest of the way back to Key West._ _ _ _

____Getting back home to Key West always filled Luisa with mixed feelings. It was home, to be sure. But she had a variety of mixed feelings about it, too. Key West had always been home base, but after her mother died, her father would pack up the family for a few months or years at a time when a new hotel would open or he had some major project at one of the hotels. But the last three years of high school when Allison would ignore her, or worse, had been miserable and painful. She really couldn’t be home without thinking about that time._ _ _ _

____Luisa fell silent as she passed the cemetery where her mother was buried. She felt bad because it was so long since she visited._ _ _ _

____“Are you holding your breath?” Rose asked, slightly teasing._ _ _ _

____“My mom is buried there,” Luisa said softly._ _ _ _

____Rose looked stricken. “I’m sorry, I—”_ _ _ _

____“No, it’s okay,” Luisa said. “When I was little, I did actually hold my breath when we’d drive by the cemetery. But my mom is buried there, and I was just thinking how long it’d been since I visited her.” Luisa swallowed hard. “Pretty shitty of me, right?” she asked quietly. “I should see her. Maybe next time.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s not shitty. I’ve never lost a parent, but I don’t think it’s shitty. I think it’s human and totally normal. Do you want to go now?” Rose asked softly. “I’ll go with you. Or I can wait in the car. Or you can drop me off somewhere and I’ll wait.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa swallowed hard. “You’d really go with me?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes,” Rose said quietly._ _ _ _

____“Okay.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____It had been some time since Luisa visited her mother at the cemetery, but her burial site was still easy for Luisa to find._ _ _ _

____Luisa stood in front her grave and sighed. She wondered how differently her life could have turned out if her mother hadn’t killed herself._ _ _ _

____Next to her, Luisa heard Rose peer closely at the dates on Luisa’s mother’s grave and heard Rose gasp quietly._ _ _ _

____Luisa turned to look at Rose who was already staring at her._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, she killed herself on my sixth birthday,” Luisa confirmed. She turned back to stare at the dates. “I don’t think she meant to do it on my birthday,” she murmured. “I mean, I think if she had remembered it was my birthday, maybe she would have done it on another day. I was going to have a party, but she disappeared that morning, and we knew something was wrong, so we cancelled it. Then the police came that night. I don’t think she meant to do it on my birthday, but I’ve never really been able to celebrate my birthday in good conscience. It’s nice when it’s acknowledged, but I always had a hard time celebrating it.” Luisa turned to Rose and gave her a small smile. “Until you. You gave me my best birthday in a really long time.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry, Luisa,” Rose said. Rose’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “That’s awful.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s okay.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa turned her gaze back to her mother’s grave marker._ _ _ _

____She through a long period in her life when she thought her mother wasn’t really dead, she’d just gone away, and so Luisa spent years trying to be her very best in an effort to be so good and so impressive, that her mother just couldn’t resist coming back. But of course, her mother never came back, and her father replaced her mother with a series of women who’d never taken any interest in her, and so Luisa had come to believe that no matter how hard she tried and could attain superficial success, she’d never really be good enough for anyone to really love her. Not the way she hoped. She thought she’d come close to it with Allison, but it was pretty apparent to her now that she’d been delusional._ _ _ _

____She never really talked to her mother when she visited. She didn’t believe much in the existence of an afterlife. She was raised Catholic, but she’d stopped believing in the existence of God, or heaven or hell after she found out about the Catholic church’s stance on suicide. Luisa’s memories of her mother were faded—she had trouble even remembering what she looked like without looking at a photograph. But she remembered her mother as being kind and sweet, and Luisa herself had thought about jumping off her mother’s bridge when she was going through the break-up with Allison. She’d been in pain when she considered it, until she remembered Rafael and the pain she went through when her mother died. She couldn’t do that to Rafael, but her pain had been very, very real. Now that she was older, the pain wasn’t as fresh and she could chalk it up to adolescent pain. Her mother had been an adult, and whatever pain she was going through, her mother clearly felt it wasn’t going to be able to make it through like her younger self told herself she could make it through adolescence. Luisa decided early on that there was no way hell was real because there was no way her mother had be in so much pain when she was alive, and still had to be in pain when she died._ _ _ _

____No, when it was over, it was over, and _that_ brought Luisa much comfort. _ _ _ _

____Luisa continued to quietly contemplate, and she would have almost forgotten Rose was with her because her friend was quiet as well. But Rose had reached for her hand, and the soft pressure of Rose’s hand in hers was comforting._ _ _ _

____Luisa didn’t believe in any kind of afterlife, but she hoped if she was wrong, and an afterlife did exist, wherever her mother was, it was somewhere peaceful where her mother could see she’d found a good friend._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____They only spent about twenty minutes, total, at the cemetery. Luisa drove back to the hotel in silence. Her father was in Paris with his new girlfriend, but Luisa knew Rafael was around. She decided she really wasn’t in the mood to put on a happy face for her baby brother, so she dropped her car off and then got one of the drivers to take her and Rose to the train station where Rose tried to buy their tickets._ _ _ _

____“No way,” Luisa said, handing the ticket agent her credit card._ _ _ _

____“But I invited myself along!”_ _ _ _

____“I’m really glad you came.”_ _ _ _

____On the train ride back, Rose reached for Luisa’s hand and gently squeezed. Luisa rested her head on Rose’s shoulder, and they said very little._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____As the end of the school year approached, Luisa could not believe how quickly it had gone. There were times when each quarter seemed eternal and dragged on, but suddenly it was the end of May, and they were almost done with their freshman year of college._ _ _ _

____“Hey,” Erin said to Luisa one night while they were both studying in their room. “Kara and I want to talk to you and Rose. We have proposition, but I want to see what you think.”_ _ _ _

____“What?”_ _ _ _

____“How would you feel if you, me, Rose and Kara got an apartment off-campus?” Erin asked. “I cannot live in a dorm next year, and I know it’ll be really expensive, but we were thinking we could get a 2 bedroom, 2bath.”_ _ _ _

____“Really?” Luisa asked. She thought that was a great idea. “Yeah!”_ _ _ _

____“I know you can’t sign the lease because you’re only 17, but maybe your dad can. Do you think he’ll go for it?”_ _ _ _

____“He doesn’t care,” Luisa said. “But I’ll ask him.”_ _ _ _

____When they brought it up to Rose, Rose agreed immediately._ _ _ _

____Now Luisa had even more to look forward to._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____The school year ended, and they all moved out of the dorm into a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment close to campus with Kara and Erin sharing one room and Luisa and Rose sharing the other. Luisa had mixed feelings about sharing a bedroom with Rose, because obviously she was thrilled, but she was also anxious. How was she ever going to hide her feelings if she shared a room with Rose?_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa was a little anxious about moving into apartment. She’d lived in hotels her entire life, and never lived in a house or apartment, so she was anxious and had no idea what to expect. She swore to be a conscientious roommate._ _ _ _

____Since all her roommates were going to be taking the first summer session, they began living together fairly soon after freshman year ended. They each went home for two weeks, but then returned when the Summer Session I started. Each of them had returned to the apartment with furniture and their cars—with Kara and Erin making fun of her poor crap bucket, Bessie._ _ _ _

____The first night sharing a bedroom was nerve-wracking. Luisa had shared a bed with Rose before, but that was at the Maracay, and this was something totally different. This wasn’t going to be for one night, this was going to be at least for another year._ _ _ _

____They’d celebrated their first night as roommates with pizza, beer and vodka shots. Luisa drank more than she intended, but they all got pretty buzzed. When Luisa lay in bed that night, she regretted the last four shots she took with Erin because rather than making her sleepy, which she kind of was, she desperately wanted to blurt out how much she liked Rose. She had to press her hands over her mouth to remember she was drunk and lacking impulse control. She finally fell asleep that way._ _ _ _

____She woke up the next morning before Rose, dehydrated and needing to pee. She and Rose shared an en suite bathroom, and once she finished her business, Luisa wandered into the kitchen to get a glass of water._ _ _ _

____They’d gone through a lot of cups the night before, and they were still in the sink. Because of this, most of the clean glasses in the cabinet were too far back for Luisa to reach, even on her tiptoes. Luisa grabbed a chopstick out of the drawer and stood on her tiptoes to push one of the cups in the back of the cabinet toward her so that it was within reach. As she expended far too much effort to do this (she made a mental note to buy a small stepstool), she felt Rose’s hand on her back._ _ _ _

____Luisa stepped aside and Rose reached into the cabinet to grab Luisa’s cup and handed it to her._ _ _ _

____“Thanks,” Luisa said._ _ _ _

____“Sure,” Rose murmured, her voice still gravelly with sleep. She reached out to grab a cup for herself._ _ _ _

____Luisa opened the refrigerator to get the Brita filter and poured each of them glass of water._ _ _ _

____“God, is there anything better than water sometimes?” Rose asked._ _ _ _

____Luisa chuckled. “Rough night?”_ _ _ _

____Now that she had some water in it, Luisa felt a million times better._ _ _ _

____“Your tolerance is way too high for someone who should still be in high school.”_ _ _ _

____“Please, where do you think I got this tolerance?”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled and swatted at Luisa’s shoulder. “Hooligan.”_ _ _ _

____Rose looked around at their apartment in dismay. It was still a mess from moving in and celebrating. “I’m not looking forward to cleaning this up.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa sighed. “I know.”_ _ _ _

____Rose rubbed her eyes. “I’m too tired to put up with this right now. I’m going back to sleep. Coming?”_ _ _ _

____“In a minute.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa watched Rose pad back to their bedroom._ _ _ _

____Their kitchen came with a dishwasher, which seemed to make everyone happy. Having always lived in hotels, Luisa never used a dishwasher before, at least not the kind found in residential homes. She’d helped out at the hotels before, and knew how to operate the industrial dishwashers at her father’s hotels. But she’d never used a regular Frigidaire dishwasher, and had to Google how to use one since she didn’t want to look like a total ignoramus. Luisa was glad she was living in 2003 where so much information could be found in on the internet._ _ _ _

____Luisa decided since she was awake, she might as well load the dishwasher and she moved all the plates and dishes from the sink into the dishwasher and before dropping in dishwashing liquid and some Jet Dry. She set the dishwasher, washed her hands and went back to bed. She could do with a little more sleep, too._ _ _ _

____“What the hell took you so long?” Rose asked sleepily when Luisa returned to their bedroom. “You said it was going to be a minute.”_ _ _ _

____“Were you counting down the minutes?” Luisa asked with a grin as she got into her bed._ _ _ _

____“I find your snoring to be comforting.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t snore!”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled. “It’s so funny when you flap your arms like that.”_ _ _ _

____“What?”_ _ _ _

____Rose rolled over so she could look at Luisa. “Sometimes when you get annoyed, you flap like arms like this,” Rose said, demonstrating. “It’s funny.” She paused. “It’s cute.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t do that!”_ _ _ _

____“You do,” Rose confirmed. “Kara says it’s because you have short girl rage.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not short, I’m average.”_ _ _ _

____“I had to get your cup for you today.”_ _ _ _

____“Cabinets are not designed for the average woman in mind, they’re designed to give maximize the amount of storage space. That’s why there’s that weird cabinet above the refrigerator. Who would use that? No one, but whoever constructed this place put that there to give more space options.”_ _ _ _

____“Be that as it may, you’re still short.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s really early in the morning to be so mean to me, lady.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m only speaking the truth, fella.”_ _ _ _

____“Go to sleep, Rose.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s okay, fella,” Rose said. “That just means you can fit in anywhere.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa was relieved that the biggest differences of living in an apartment as opposed to the hotel or the dorm were just the inconvenient parking (four cars, two spaces) and the fact that they were now all responsible for cleaning themselves. Luisa was accustomed to housekeeping crew at the hotel and the dorm had its own housekeeping crew as well. Luisa never really had to wash dishes or scrub toilets before, but she didn’t really mind. She found that cleaning gave her something to do when her mind was too active, and who didn’t enjoy a clean sink or clean bathroom? Luisa had her heart set on medical school, and she thought the world was too filthy anyway._ _ _ _

____Sometimes when she was bored, she liked to open the refrigerator and cabinets and ensure that anything with a label faced outward and lined up. Rose seemed to think the quirk was funny, but both Kara and Erin said it was OCD._ _ _ _

____Overall, it was nice to live with her friends. Everyone was considerate of one another, and split everything four ways. Even the parking spots were rotated on a complicated, but fair schedule._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____That summer was the best of Luisa’s life filled with drunken nights with the closest friends she’d had in a long time. Lots of music and dancing in their apartment, experiments and failures with cooking and most importantly, so many nights spent talking quietly with Rose before they both fell asleep._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Summer session ended, and everyone was going to go home for about a month. Luisa wasn’t looking forward to it, although she did want to see Rafael. There was something impersonal about living at the hotel and now that she’d gotten used to living with other people, she really didn’t want to return back to hotel life._ _ _ _

____But her father was also going to be home and wanted to introduce her to his new girlfriend who was likely going to becoming wife number 6, and he wanted her to get to know her future stepmother, so what could she do?_ _ _ _

____Rose’s birthday was coming up in August, and Luisa wanted to do something to celebrate it, but she wasn’t sure what she could do. Rose would be at home in Marathon, and Luisa would be at home in Key West. She couldn’t expect Rose to come to Key West to celebrate her birthday, but she couldn’t intrude on Rose’s family in Marathon, either._ _ _ _

____Luisa also knew that Rose wasn’t looking forward to it. Just like Luisa had negative associations with her birthday because of her mother’s suicide, she knew that Rose had negative associations with her birthday because of the bitter battles her parents engaged in over it._ _ _ _

____Luisa just wanted to find a way to change those associations the way Rose had done for her. It’s not that Luisa would ever forget her mother, but her last birthday was the first time Luisa didn’t feel guilty for celebrating her birthday. It was also the first time she didn’t feel too sad to do something. She just wanted Rose to have a special birthday. She knew whatever she planned had to revolve around Rose’s pre-existing plans with her family, and her friends from back home._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa called Rose the night before her birthday, a little after 9:30pm. Rose didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic about her birthday, so Luisa tried not to press for too many details. She finally just came clean that she wanted to at least take Rose out to dinner for her birthday because it was getting too hard to figure it out,_ _ _ _

____“You really don’t have to,” Rose said._ _ _ _

____“I want to!” Luisa insisted. “We can make it drama free. I promise.”_ _ _ _

____Rose laughed. “I guess I’d rather see you on my birthday than anyone else,” she admitted. “Except maybe some puppies.”_ _ _ _

____“Puppies?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah,” Rose said. “It’s always nice seeing puppies.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s true. Who doesn’t like puppies?”_ _ _ _

____“Did Allison like puppies?” Rose asked._ _ _ _

____“No, actually,” Luisa said. “I once saw her kick a pug.”_ _ _ _

____Rose gasped. “She kicked a dog?”_ _ _ _

____“Well, to be fair, she’s scared of dogs, and the pug was sniffing at her foot.”_ _ _ _

____“Pugs are so little. What’s wrong with her? You should have known just from that she was evil. Who kicks puppies?”_ _ _ _

____“The pug wasn’t a puppy though. It was an adult.”_ _ _ _

____“All dogs are puppies, Luisa. I would love a puppy party, actually” Rose said a little wistfully. “I think all my birthdays would have been so much better if the humans had been replaced with puppies.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s my little misanthrope,” Luisa said fondly._ _ _ _

____“It’s not my fault that puppies are better than people.”_ _ _ _

____“Most animals are better than people.”_ _ _ _

____Spending so much time alone with Rose had also turned Luisa a little misanthropic._ _ _ _

____“That’s a very comforting sentiment coming from a future doctor,” Rose said._ _ _ _

____“I don’t make the rules, lady.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m glad you’re finally seeing things my way, fella.”_ _ _ _

____They finally agreed to meet up the day after Rose’s birthday. Rose wanted to meet up halfway, but Luisa insisted on driving the full distance to Rose._ _ _ _

____They were talking for so long that Luisa realized it was shortly after midnight._ _ _ _

____“Rose! Happy birthday!” Luisa exclaimed. “You are now officially a 19 year old. How does it feel?”_ _ _ _

____“It feels like I’m talking on the phone after midnight with a minor,” Rose teased._ _ _ _

____Luisa groaned in protest. “I turn 18 in eight months, you know, so you won’t be able to say that kind of stuff for much longer.”_ _ _ _

____“I guess I’ll need to say it every day then.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa groaned again. “Okay, I’m hanging up now. You’re clearly sleep-deprived to be so cruel to me.”_ _ _ _

____Rose laughed. “I’m not being mean, I’m just being accurate.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa snorted. “Yeah, sure. It’s your accuracy that I love.”_ _ _ _

____Rose’s voice was softer. “It’s not?”_ _ _ _

____Luisa swallowed hard. “Well, I guess it’s one of your qualities that I love,” she admitted. In that moment, she wished desperately for bravery, but it just didn’t happen. “But I’m not going to tell you what other qualities I love about you because you were just so mean to me.”_ _ _ _

____“Aw, fella. It’s my birthday.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s too late,” Luisa said. “Birthday or not.”_ _ _ _

____Rose chuckled. “Okay,” she said. “I guess you’re just going to keep me on the hook.”_ _ _ _

____“Who knows,” Luisa said. “If you’re nice to me, maybe one day I will tell you all the reasons.”_ _ _ _

____“I’ll try to keep that in mind.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Luisa was beyond thrilled to have found a small company that actually rented out dogs for puppy parties in Rose’s city. The organization was attached to a small shelter, and all the dogs were adoptable. They were mostly for children’s birthday parties, but Luisa thought it was even better when the puppy party was just for the two of them since no one had to worry about overly excitable children mishandling the dogs._ _ _ _

____Luisa instructed Rose to meet her a 3pm, since she was meeting the doggy handler at 2:30pm. Luisa had stopped off at a pet store to buy treats and toys for the dogs even though she knew the handler was bringing some as well._ _ _ _

____Luisa could always spot Rose in a crowd, and today was no different._ _ _ _

____“Hi,” Rose greeted. She looked around. “Did you buy me puppies?” she asked._ _ _ _

____“I _rented_ puppies,” Luisa said. _ _ _ _

____“You _rented_ puppies?”_ _ _ _

____“We have them for an hour. It could be longer if we want, but yes, I’ve rented puppies for an hour.”_ _ _ _

____“You rented puppies,” Rose said._ _ _ _

____“Yes?” Luisa asked slowly, wondering if this was a bad idea._ _ _ _

____“How did you even find a place to rent puppies?” Rose asked with a grin._ _ _ _

____“I Googled it.”_ _ _ _

____Rose laughed and crouched down to pet the dogs that were clamoring around. “Hi, guys,” she said softly, laughing as they all climbed on her._ _ _ _

____Luisa sat down next to her and just watched as Rose petted one dog at a time, fawning over them equally. She passed Rose some treats and toys, and just watched as Rose gave each dog a treat and waved the toys around._ _ _ _

____Luisa and Rose ensured each dog got enough attention, but Luisa wished she could adopt all of them even though she knew it just wasn’t feasible._ _ _ _

____Their private puppy party piqued the interest of some of the families who were also at the park. The doggy handler collected phone numbers and handed out business cards to the shelter to anyone who expressed interest in fostering or adopting the dogs, and Luisa was happy that her puppy party had that unintended consequence._ _ _ _

____“I can’t believe you rented puppies for me,” Rose said. “What would you have done if I said elephants or grey whales?”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t know,” Luisa admitted. “I’m glad puppies were so doable. If you said elephants or grey whales, I guess I would have tried to take you to an elephant sanctuary or whale watching.” Luisa smiled. “Was it paw-fect?”_ _ _ _

____Rose didn’t even bother hiding her grin. “You’re lucky I love a word play even when it’s bad.”_ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____At Rose’s insistence, Luisa left her car at the park, and she got into Rose’s car as they drove to the Greek restaurant Rose chose for her birthday lunch, since she liked the gyros there. As they drove there, Rose gave Luisa an impromptu 10 minute tour of her hometown as they passed Rose’s former high school and a church parking lot Rose apparently once drunkenly threw up in._ _ _ _

____For Rose’s birthday lunch, they decided on a Greek restaurant where Rose enjoyed the gyros. Rose ordered the lamb and beef gyros with rice and a salad while Luisa ordered the chicken gyros with rice and fries. Once the food was set down, Luisa subtly moved her plate so that her French fries could face closer to Rose. Luisa grinned when, predictably, Rose stole fries off her plate._ _ _ _

____Once they finished eating, they got ice cream cones for dessert and walked around. Luisa enjoyed getting just a tiny glimpse of Rose’s life and where she came from._ _ _ _

____But finally, it got the point where it was awkward that they’d just walked around for a couple hours, talking, without actually doing anything. Luisa wished she’d planned this better._ _ _ _

____Rose invited her back to her mom’s house, but Luisa declined._ _ _ _

____In truth, she wasn’t ready to meet either of Rose’s parents, even if she was wanted to see Rose’s bedroom at either house. Luisa was not in a rush to meet Rose’s parents whom Luisa considered to be selfish and more concerned with getting back at one another than what was best for Rose. Luisa thought Rose deserved the best, and she was not in the mood to meet people who should have been the first ones to put Rose first, but didn’t. Luisa thought Rose deserved the very best in the world, and it pained her that Rose didn’t get that._ _ _ _

____When it came time for Rose to drop Luisa off at her car, Luisa felt a little downtrodden that it would be a more than a month before she would see her again, but at least they would be living together._ _ _ _

____“Here,” Luisa said, getting Rose’s present out of her backseat and passing it to her friend._ _ _ _

____“I thought the puppies were my present,” Rose protested._ _ _ _

____“The puppies would only be your present if I adopted them for you. I told you, I rented them. You can’t rent a present. It’s uncouth.”_ _ _ _

____“Should I open it?”_ _ _ _

____“Sure.”_ _ _ _

____Rose unwrapped the gift. “You got me headphones?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah,” Luisa said. “I know yours broke, and that you like to wear headphones when you go into shops so people won’t talk to you. I don’t necessarily want to encourage your misanthropic behavior, but it’s your birthday.”_ _ _ _

____Rose smiled. “You even got me blue ones.”_ _ _ _

____Luisa shrugged. “It’s your favorite color.”_ _ _ _

____“Thanks, fella,” Rose said sincerely._ _ _ _

____“You’re welcome, lady.” Luisa pulled Rose into a hug. “Happy belated birthday,” she murmured._ _ _ _

____Rose’s embrace was tight. “Drive safe,” she said softly “Keep your eyes on the road, and don’t be distracted. Call me when you get home safe.”_ _ _ _

____“I will,” Luisa said quietly. She wished she could make this moment last a little longer, but she eventually pulled away, got into her car and drove until Rose was just a tiny dot in her rear mirror._ _ _ _


	4. Chapter 4

Luisa found that she genuinely enjoyed apartment life, so she was a little bummed out when she had to go back to the Maracay after Summer Session I was over. Even though everyone else was going home to spend a bit of summer vacation with their families, she could have happily occupied the apartment alone, but her father wanted her home to meet his new girlfriend, Melissa.

Melissa was only 25. It was a little weird that the woman who may become her father’s new wife was only 7 years older than she was. Luisa didn’t think she’d ever think of Melissa as her stepmother, even if her father and Melissa got married and stayed together for 50 years. With only 7 years between her and Melissa, Luisa doubted she’d ever think of Melissa as anything other than her father’s wife. Given her father’s track record with marriage, Luisa didn’t think her father and Melissa would still be together when she graduated from college. 

Melissa really seemed to like Rafael, and Rafael clearly seemed to like her, so Luisa hoped that Melissa and her father did stay together, because Rafael could have really used a mother. Just like Luisa, Rafael was also growing up without a mother. Rafael was just a little kid, and Luisa would prefer it if he did have someone stable in his life. But Melissa made _unnerving_ eye contact. 

She was nice, so Luisa didn’t have anything personal against her, but she burned with humiliation and rage while her father cavalierly recounted to Melissa over the dinner table the trouble Luisa experienced in high school with Allison. Luisa had to admit that in some ways, it did seem like her father had grown a bit as a person—it used to be that when he brought up what happened with Allison, he would talk about his humiliation that people would think she was “that way,” but this time, he spoke about how Luisa had been taken advantage of by an “older” girl, and never brought up Luisa being “that way.” He’d spoken at length that Allison was older, more mature and made Luisa sound like a naïve little fool, and that was just not how Luisa perceived what happened with Allison. He wasn’t totally wrong when he called Allison “ill-mannered,” but he definitely got what happened with Allison completely wrong. 

Melissa had put her hand on Luisa’s arm and again with her unnerving eye contact made an attempt at commiseration. “Sometimes girls just do that to each other.”

Something about Melissa was off—Luisa didn’t think she was a bad person, but something didn’t feel right. She tried to give Melissa a wide berth, although she made it a point to be around if Melissa was spending time with Rafael alone. 

If she had a different kind of relationship with her father, Luisa might have expressed her concerns, but she did _not_ have that kind of relationship with her father, and even if he liked to say “family is everything,” she wasn’t sure he would choose her. None of her stepmothers ever particularly liked her, and a few had wanted to send her and Raf away to boarding school, but her father married them anyway. 

Her father and Melissa asked appropriately engaging questions about her life now that she was in college, but Luisa was careful not to bring up Rose too much, because she didn’t want her father to pick up on how much she liked Rose. She was afraid that if her father hadn’t changed very much since the incident with Allison, then he would force her to move out of the apartment or move schools or come back to the Maracay. She wanted to get a feel for how he felt about LGBT rights, but wanted to do it subtly, like when she turned all the TVs in the Maracay to the same news channel that was discussing the recent _Lawrence v. Texas_ Supreme Court case. She couldn’t bring herself to discuss it with him openly, but just wanted to get a sense of how he felt. Unfortunately, he never took the bait. 

She was pretty sure everyone who went home for a while after being in college felt stifled, but she couldn’t wait to get back to school and to her little two bedroom apartment that she shared with three other girls. 

It wasn’t just that her father’s new girlfriend made her uncomfortable, or that she just didn’t feel like she could have a real conversation with her father, the Maracay just didn’t feel like home anymore. She’d lived in hotels her entire life, but now she had something else to compare it to, and Luisa knew hotel life wasn’t really for her anymore.

She missed Rose, even though they spoke on the phone nearly every night. She missed going to sleep in the same room, talking until they fell asleep. In actuality, they kind of still did—they’d start talking a little after 9pm and stay on the phone with one another until one or both of them fell asleep. They’d turn on the TV to the same thing and just watch it together sometimes, just like they’d do if they were still in the same room.

Luisa usually shared some interaction she had with Melissa that day, and Rose was always a sympathetic ear. 

“Do you want me to come there and just stare at her right back?”

“I can win my own staring contests, you know,” Luisa said. 

“No, you can’t. You always start laughing.”

“You cheat! You make faces.”

“You make faces, too!”

“I do not make faces,” Luisa said. “That’s my normal face.”

“Your normal face is when your cheeks look like a chipmunk?” Rose demanded.

“Baby fat,” Luisa said primly.

“You do not have baby fat.”

“Okay,” Luisa said. “Then it’s just fat fat.”

Rose snorted. “You’re not fat. You just cheat.”

“I have never cheated at anything in my entire life.”

“Okay, fine. You play dirty.”

“When have I ever played dirty?”

“You took Kara hostage when we played paintball. You knew Erin wasn’t going to actually shoot her.”

Luisa sniffed. “Kara was a willing assistant.”

“I’m just glad you’re not a spy.”

“Oh, I could never be a spy. I’m very delicate. I could never stand up to torture. If I got captured, I’d spill everything.”

Rose chuckled. “They’d never take me alive.”

“You mean you wouldn’t count on me to lead the rescue mission?”

“I’d assume you were dead if they were close enough to try to take me alive.”

“Why am I dead in this scenario?”

“Because I think you’re way too competitive to be taken alive.”

Luisa was silent for a moment. “You may be right.”

“I know I am,” Rose said. 

After a moment of quiet, Rose spoke again.

“I really can come there and try to…you know, handle your dad’s girlfriend.”

“It’s okay,” Luisa assured. “She seems fine. She’s just…a lot.”

“Okay,” Rose said. “But let me know. You know I’m only an hour away.”

Luisa chuckled. “My princess charming, always ready to come to my rescue,” she said fondly. “How did I survive before I met you?”

“Maybe I was meant to be by your side.”

Luisa swallowed hard. “You think so?”

“Maybe?” Rose ventured softly.

There was something in Rose’s voice. Luisa wasn’t sure what it was, but neither of them were laughing anymore or needling each other. Luisa needed to catch her breath for a second. Maybe because it was starting to get late—it was past 11pm, and they’d been on the phone for the past two hours. 

“Rose—”

“Luisa—”

They spoke at the same time, and then laughed. 

“Go ahead,” Rose said, her voice soft, sweet.

“Rose, I’ve been wanting to—”

There was so much Luisa wanted to say in that moment, wanted to _confess_ , and there was something in Rose’s voice that sounded like maybe she would be willing to hear her out. 

And then the fire alarms in the hotel went off.

Luisa sat up quickly. “Oh my God, the fire alarms!”

“Luisa?” Rose’s voice was panicked. 

“I’ll call you back!” Luisa said. 

She threw her phone off to the side and ran to Rafael’s room to pull him out of bed. Once she got him up, they ran out of their suite. This was probably a drill, but she didn’t want to take that risk. 

The hotel guests and staff were evacuating, and the fire department was on its way.

Twenty minutes later, it was clear that a couple of drunk guests pulled the fire alarm. Luisa put Rafael to bed, and knew she had to call Rose back or else Rose would worry.

Rose answered immediately. 

“Are you okay? I turned on the news, but there was nothing about the Maracay, and--”

“I’m okay,” Luisa gently interrupted. “It was the fire alarms. Some drunk people pulled the fire alarms.”

“Dumb asses,” Rose said. 

“For real.”

“What were you going to say before we were interrupted?” Rose pressed.

Luisa had lost her nerve. She’d been so ready to confess her feelings, but she took the pulled fire alarm as a sign that she wasn’t supposed to say anything. The universe was clearly trying to save her from rejection.

“Oh, I don’t remember. I’m sure if it’s important, I’ll remember,” Luisa said. “Um, what were you going to say?”

Rose paused. “You know, I don’t remember either,” she said finally. “I guess some drunks pulling a fire alarm was a lot more exciting.”

“Yeah,” Luisa said softly. She was disappointed, but she knew it was probably for the best. Sometimes the universe intervened when it was necessary. 

\--

The Saturday before the Fall Quarter was starting, Luisa returned to her apartment to find Erin and Kara having sex on one of the couches in the living room.

“Oh my God!” Luisa yelled, covering her eyes. “My eyes! My eyes! You guys are doing it!”

Erin and Kara were already re-dressing, but they did not seem nearly as distressed as Luisa. 

“Luisa, calm down,” Erin said. “Geez. It’s not like you’ve never seen us naked.”

“Not in those positions!”

“You’re going to be a doctor,” Kara said. “Maybe you’ll even be an OB-GYN. Those positions were nothing new.”

“I don’t even want my doctor to see me in a position like that!”

“Luisa, calm down!” Erin exclaimed. “It’s not like you’ve never done it before on this couch.”

“What?! No, I haven’t! That is so unsanitary!”

Erin raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never had sex with Rose on this couch?”

“ _What_?” Luisa asked, mortified. “No, of course not! Why would I have sex on this couch with Rose?”

Erin shrugged. “Sorry, I guess I just assumed you guys were doing it everywhere. I mean, Kara and I are.”

“I had no idea,” Luisa said. “Since when?!”

“Since move-in day freshman year,” Kara informed.

Luisa had to admit Kara and Erin had been very subtle. This was the first time she had any inkling they were anything more than just roommates and friends. 

“So you two just do it in your bedroom?” Erin asked. “I guess that is pretty considerate. Maybe we should do the same,” she told Kara.

“Rose and I aren’t doing it!”

“Oh,” Erin and Kara said.

“Why didn’t you guys tell us you were dating?” Luisa asked. 

“Oh, we’re not dating,” Kara said. 

“We have an arrangement. We thought you and Rose were dating and just keeping in on the down low,” Erin added.

“We’re not dating!”

“Bullshit!” Kara said. “You two are the gayest couple in the world.”

“We’re not a couple!”

“Sorry,” Erin interjected. “We just assumed.”

“Why?!”

“I don’t know,” Erin said. “Literally everything you two do with each other is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like, a daily thing. And every day you two do things that are even gayer than the day before. I just thought you guys were being lesbian with each other. We thought for sure you were doing it, and that you were both being quiet to be thoughtful. But we thought for sure you were…” Erin made a lewd hand gesture. “I guess I just assumed you were both repressed and were having the world’s quietest sex.”

Luisa was mortified. She had no idea she was so obvious. “We’re not repressed and you… you better Lysol that couch!”

“Okay, we will,” Kara agreed. “So calm down, okay?”

“Yeah, calm down, and don’t tell Rose about any of this,” Erin said. “She’s more uptight than you are. If you’re acting like this just because we did a little hanky panky on the couch, I can only imagine what she’d do. She’s a redhead and a Leo. That’s a bad combination.”

Mortified, Luisa fled to her room carrying her bags. She did bring back some of the sweet biscuit and peach ice cream in dry ice for Rose, but she took that with her, too. She knocked on her bedroom door before emerging just in case Kara and Erin were engaged in some activity so that she could go to the kitchen to put the ice cream away. 

Fortunately, Kara and Erin were both fully dressed and dutifully Lysol spraying the couch, but Luisa stayed in her room until Rose came home a couple hours later.

\--

“Rose!” Luisa said, scandalized when the bedroom door opened. She was so happy Rose was home. She couldn’t wait to gossip.

Rose dragged in her luggage. “Hey you,” she said warmly, her smile big.

Luisa got up and shut the door. “Guess what?” she whispered.

Rose raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I came home and Erin and Kara were doing _it_ on the couch! My eyes!”

“No!” Rose yelled.

From the living room, Luisa heard Kara yell, “Luisa, you tattletale!” but Luisa decided to ignore it. As if she was going to keep that a secret from Rose. Although she planned to withhold what Kara and Erin had said about her and Rose. 

“They’re friends with benefits, and have been since move-in day last year.”

“Where did they find the time to do that?” Rose wondered. 

“Who cares? They’ve been having sex everywhere in the common areas. That’s just so unsanitary.”

“That’s very troubling,” Rose said. “I mean, we’ve eaten on that couch.”

“Exactly!”

Rose looked at her sympathetically. “How much did you see?”

“Let’s just say I’m qualified as an OB/GYN now.”

“The idea of a 17 year old OB/GYN certainly fills me with confidence.”

Luisa scowled. “I thought you’d be more outraged than this, frankly,” she said. “Erin even said not to tell you because you’re a redhead and a Leo, and that was a bad combination.”

“Hey!”

Luisa smirked. She knew that would get her. “Ha!”

Rose shook her head. “Keep me company while I unpack, will ya?”

“How can I go out there?” Luisa asked rhetorically. 

Rose chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll get over it.”

“I’m over it,” Luisa said. “But I don’t want them to know.”

Rose chuckled. “Hey, turn that song up, please.”

“Oh, sure,” Luisa said, turning up the volume on her stereo. It was a mix CD of her own creation, so she was glad Rose liked it. She wondered if Rose remembered dancing with her to this song. There was something so peaceful about ‘Shining Star’ by the Manhattans. 

As Rose unpacked, Luisa caught a sudden whiff of Rose’s clean laundry as she put clothes away in the wardrobe and drawers. Luisa hid a smile. She loved it when their room smelled like Rose. 

Rose finished unpacking and held her hand out to Luisa. “Come on, fella. It’s time to face the music.”

Luisa pouted, but she took Rose’s hand and followed her out to Kara and Erin’s room, which was open. 

Kara was playing Minesweeper on her computer, while Erin was lying in bed talking on her cellphone with her mother. 

“Oh, I’ll call you back,” Erin said. “Yes, okay. Okay. Bye.”

Luisa waited until she knew Erin was off the phone. “Hey.”

“What’s up, guys?” Erin asked carefully. 

“What did you guys want to do for dinner?” Rose asked. 

“Oh, my mom sent food,” Erin said. “So I think we’re good for dinner.”

Rose nodded. “Oh, great!” Erin’s mom was a great cook. She paused and smiled devilishly. “But I guess we’re going to have to actually eat at the dining table considering the couch is probably still drying off after getting its Lysol bath, right?”

Kara and Erin laughed. 

“See?” Kara said to Erin. “Total tattletale.”

“I don’t keep secrets from Rose,” Luisa said primly. 

Well, not many anyway. And certainly not something like this. 

Rose shook her head. “I hope at least you two never defiled the kitchen table.”

“We can clean it,” Erin said.

“Unsanitary,” Luisa whispered. 

“I’ve seen you throw up on yourself,” Erin said. “You’ll be fine eating on a kitchen table I’ve had sex on.”

“I don’t even know how you to managed it,” Luisa said. “It’s from IKEA!”

Rose put her arm around Luisa. “I’d rather be around you after you’ve thrown up on yourself rather than eat on a kitchen table they’ve had sex on,” she said. “I got you.”

Luisa snuggled up. “Thank you, Rose, I knew I could count on you.”

Erin caught her eye and discreetly made a lewd gesture. 

Luisa wrinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes warningly. 

“So, we’re in agreement then?” Rose said. “All…bedroom activities remain in the bedroom?” 

“Sure,” Erin and Kara said. “We’ll keep it in the bedroom,” she said. “And you guys will too.”

Rose looked confused. “Okay?”

\--

Luisa had always excelled in school, so the beginning of a school year always filled her with excitement, and college was no different. Luisa liked school, liked learning, liked getting good grades, and most of all, being the top of her class. 

But this Fall quarter was particularly exciting for her because she and Rose were taking a lower division Western Civilization class together. Since their majors were so vastly different, Luisa didn’t think they’d ever take a class together, but they both apparently needed to take it for a General Education credit, and they even had the same section class. A Tuesday and Thursday lecture class at 8am with a Friday 9am discussion class was not her ideal, but at least she got to take it with Rose. 

Luisa also particularly enjoyed her Human Sexuality class which was a requirement for her major. Her Human Sexuality professor turned out to be married to her Biology professor, and she thought they were a good match for one another. They were two of her favorite professors so far, by far. She was neutral about her Organic Chemistry class, but was glad that school had always come easy for her because she could see some of her classmates struggling. 

\--

On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, Luisa and Rose always left the apartment together to go to class. 

Luisa typically experienced difficulty in sleeping, so she was both an early bird and a night owl. She always woke up well before Rose on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays to get ready for school to allow Rose to sleep in until the last possible moment and then use the bathroom freely to get ready. Luisa usually waited for Rose by studying and getting coffee ready. It always entertained her that Rose would grumble so much about the early hour. 

Since it was so early, Luisa didn’t want to bother with the bus. Plus, it would be way too crowded filled with other students who were also going to early morning classes, and Luisa knew Luisa knew that Rose would hate very nanosecond of being around them, so Luisa always drove her and Rose to school on those days.

Rose would close her eyes through the drive, even though it was only about fifteen minutes from leaving their apartment to getting into a parking space. Luisa thought it was endearingly dramatic, and would always keep the music low and her thoughts to herself so that Rose could get some peace and quiet. Rose never mentioned Luisa’s bad driving on those days.

Once Luisa parked, she’d always take a moment to look at Rose who still had her eyes closed. No matter how much time passed, no matter how many people she saw or met, she still thought Rose was the prettiest person she’d ever seen. She never let herself stare for too long—she didn’t want to be a creep or for Rose to notice, especially now that she knew her roommates thought she and Rose were….doing ‘it.’ It was alarming to think that her crush on Rose was so apparent, and she did _not_ want Rose to become aware of it, because Luisa was certain Rose didn’t feel the same way. She did not want Rose to get creeped out.

Eventually, Luisa would break the news to Rose that they had to get to class, and they would walk together. Rose would still have an adorably grumpy look on her face, and Luisa had to make an effort not to smile because no one in a grumpy mood wanted to be around someone who was smiling like an idiot. 

By the time they’d take their seats in class, Rose would be over her grumpy mood and they’d chat quietly until class started.

The class itself wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t interesting either. She’d try to pay attention, but she mostly found herself surreptitiously staring at Rose through her peripheral vision. Rose didn’t seem to be all that invested in the lectures either, because she often doodled absently through class, the doodles frequently becoming very elaborate. 

After class ended, they both had an hour gap before they had their next classes, so they would walk to the University Center where they would find one of the sofas to occupy. Luisa would read for her Biology class and Rose would take a nap with her head on Luisa’s lap. The position was always a little awkward, as Rose would occupy Luisa’s lap, so the textbook would be on a cushion a little to her left. She’d always end up with a cramp in her back, but it was always worth it. She’d play with Rose’s hair, and Rose would get annoyed that Luisa put a braid in it, but Rose usually kept it in. It always made Luisa smile when Rose did that.

When they had to go their separate ways for the rest of the day, it was always a bummer. Luisa had classes significantly later than Rose on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so Rose found her own way home on those days. But Luisa _loved_ Fridays when their schedules lined up so that Luisa got out her Human Sexuality class at 3pm and Rose got out of her 19th Century British Literature class at 4pm. Luisa would find a nice spot to study outside of the building that housed Rose’s class, and just wait until Rose was finished so they could drive home.

Their Friday afternoon routine after getting home consisted of buying fruit from the same street vendor and eating in in front of the TV while watching _The Golden Girls_. Erin and Kara both came home late on Friday nights, so Luisa and Rose took the opportunity to hog the TV and snuggle up on the couch.

“Maybe we’ll all still be living together when we’re that age,” Luisa mused. “You’d be Sophia.”

Rose snorted. “Erin would be Blanche. “

“Karen would be Dorothy.”

“Ha! That makes you Rose!”

“No! _You’re_ Rose. You have the same name!”

“You’re totally a Rose!”

“I don’t want to be a Scandinavian from Minnesota. I want to be the slut,” Luisa said. 

“Don’t be that way,” Rose said. “Roses have plenty of fun.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Sophia is a cute little Sicilian with colorful stories.”

“You’re a cute little Cuban with colorful personality,” Rose pointed out helpfully. 

Luisa grinned. “Well, you’re a cute Irish girl with a spiky personality who is really a marshmallow on the inside.”

Rose poked Luisa’s tummy, making Luisa squeal and smack Rose’s hand. “I told you, that’s only with you.”

Luisa snuggled into Rose. “You can’t fool me, Rose Ruvelle. You love puppies and 80’s sitcom grandmothers. You talk a good game, but I know you have a heart of gold and that you would do anything for anyone.”

“You think I’d do anything for anyone?” Rose asked. “So you think _I’m_ the slut?”

Luisa swatted Rose’s shoulder. “You know what I mean. You act tough, but I know the truth.”

Rose smiled wryly. “Are you sure you really see me as I am? I’m honestly not sure.”

“Are you saying you think I’m looking at you through rose-tinted glasses?”

Rose sighed deeply, but she had to smile. “You’re just silly.”

“I know you better than you know yourself,” Luisa declared. “No one will ever convince me you’re anything but a marshmallow.”

“I just feel like you’re calling me fat.”

Luisa sighed and smacked Rose’s belly.

“Now I feel like you’re more violent than I thought.”

“It kind of seems like we’ve reach equilibrium then,” Luisa said. 

\--

Sharing notes for their Western Civilization class, Luisa realized she and Rose thought the same way—the way they outlined their notes was almost identical. Luisa wasn’t sure if it meant that they thought the same way or if they were just educated in a similar way, but Luisa thought it demonstrated why they got along so well.

“If it weren’t for you, I probably would never go to this class,” Rose declared. “I just _cannot_ keep learning about the fucking Magna Carta.”

“I’ve got news for you, my friend,” Luisa said. “But as a future lawyer, this will not be the last time you read about the Magna Carta.”

“I don’t even want to see the Magna Carta in writing.”

“Are you _opposed_ to the Magna Carta, Rose? How can you be opposed to the Magna Carta? The Magna Carta is very important. Magna Carta, Magna Carta, Magna Carta.” Sometimes Luisa just liked to goad a reaction out of her, but Luisa never wanted to actually make Rose mad, so she always chose something relatively insignificant, 

“Stop saying Magna Carta, fella. And no, of course I’m not _opposed_ to the Mag—to that document. I’m just saying I’ve literally learned about it every year of my life since, like, 2nd grade, and I’m kind of over it.”

“It was literally a paragraph in the textbook.”

“Are you saying my outrage is not valid and unwarranted?”

“Nothing about you is invalid or unwarranted,” Luisa soothed. She tossed a gummy candy she had on her desk to Rose. “Here, have a piece of candy though. I think your blood sugar might be a little low.”

Rose caught it. “Thank you,” she said. She looked at it. “Oooh lychee!” She opened it and tossed it in her mouth, and put the wrapper into the trash can. 

“See,” Luisa said. “I have your back. I know those are your favorite, so I took a few before everyone else could eat them and I was saving them for a rainy day.”

Rose grinned at her. “You hoarded for me?”

“I’d wouldn’t call three ‘hoarding,’ but yes, of course I did.”

“Well, toss me another one,” Rose said.

Luisa tossed Rose another one. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

Luisa glanced at the caricature of her and Rose that she had pinned up on her bulletin board. Rose had an identical one tacked up on her side of the room. “I want to go to another carnival,” Luisa said wistfully. 

Rose gave her a fond smile. “That was a really good day,” she chuckled. “One of my best days, actually,” she murmured. “We should definitely go to another carnival.”

Luisa turned to her computer. “I’ll see if anything it coming up,” she said. She brightened. “Hey! Next month there is a seafood festival. We’re definitely going. We can go, right?”

Rose smiled crookedly. “When have I ever been able to deny you anything?”

Luisa grinned. “You mean I have you eating right out of my hand?” she teased.

“You know you do,” Rose said softly.

Luisa laughed. How she wished that were true. “Well, I guess I do _now_ ,” Luisa said. “Since I have you eating right out of my hand, can I borrow one of your highlighters?”

Rose threw her a pink highlighter. It was exactly the color she wanted. 

“Thanks.”

Luisa devoted many of her waking hours to thinking about Rose. She used to obsess on the minutiae of their interactions, but since they spent so much time together, that was no longer the case. But she found herself thinking about Rose _all_ the time when they were apart. When she was in class, she often thought about her. Her eyes, her lips, the rest of her face. Her hair. Her breasts. Her hips. Her legs. Luisa didn’t want to _perv_ on her friend/roommate, but sharing a bedroom meant that every day her crush on her friend got a little worse.

She was glad she found her Bio and Human Sexuality classes to be so interesting. She met with her professors regularly just to talk about the material. They were a married couple, which Luisa knew, and it tickled her that they didn’t know that she knew. But they each had photos of one another in their offices, so Luisa had discovered that pretty early on.

Luisa found that sitting in those classes and studying were some of the few times when her mind wasn’t preoccupied by Rose.

\--

Ballroom dance was back for the Fall quarter, and Rose easily agreed to go back to the classes with her. There were a lot of familiar faces, but quite a few freshman. What had felt so new last year was now just par for the course. 

Luisa felt pretty lucky this quarter—she liked two out of her four classes, she shared one class with Rose, so they spent even more time together because of it, there was ballroom dance on Wednesdays, and at least one day a month, she and Rose had dinner and dancing at the Havana House. 

If someone had told a younger version of herself how good life was at the moment, Luisa would have thought they were crazy. Luisa knew that a large part of her happiness this quarter was because of Rose, and while she knew that wasn’t the healthiest, she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. This was the happiest she’d been in a while.

\--

One night, Luisa had a dream about her mother.

Luisa rarely dreamt about her mother. The last time, Luisa was 15 years old.

Her dreams about her mother varied—sometimes she was just a face in the larger story of the dream, just a silent witness. Other times, Luisa dreamt that her mother was still alive, but she had to find her. And other times, she dreamt of having had her mother for her entire life. Often times, when Luisa woke up from a dream like that, she had a lingering sense of unreality where she wasn’t sure what was real. Then she would remember that in the dream, she got older, but her mother obviously didn’t, which meant that her mother had to be dead. But it always took a few minutes for her brain to work that out and always left her with a sense of disquietude and melancholy that kept her awake for the rest of the night. 

Luisa stared up at the ceiling, trying to return her breathing to normal. 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked softly.

Luisa swallowed hard. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” Rose lied. “Are you okay?”

“I just…” Luisa trailed off. “My mother _is_ gone, right?”

Rose was silent for a moment. “I’m coming over.”

Luisa shifted so she could make room. Then Rose’s warm body was sliding in next to hers, and Luisa took a moment to breathe her in as Rose’s arm wrapped around her.

“I have this dream about my mother sometimes,” Luisa said. “And it always feels really real. But she’s gone, right?”

Rose swallowed audibly. “Yes, honey. She is.”

Luisa nodded. “Okay,” she said softly. “I knew that. It just seemed so real, you know? It takes a few minutes for my brain to catch up.”

Rose’s fingers lightly rubbed up and down Luisa’s arms. It almost felt like Rose was writing her name on Luisa’s arm, but Luisa knew her mind was probably playing tricks on her.

“That’s understandable,” Rose murmured.

“I always get older, but she doesn’t,” Luisa explained. “It’s not like I’m going crazy. I know what’s real, but it just takes me a minute.” Luisa knew she wasn’t exactly making sense, but she just needed to get her thoughts out. 

“I know, honey,” Rose murmured. “It okay. Just go back to sleep. I’m here.”

Luisa snuggled into Rose and covered Rose’s hand with her own. “Thanks, Rose.” Luisa actually did feel herself getting sleepy. There was just something comforting about the feel of Rose’s body against hers, the smell of Rose’s shampoo, conditioner, body wash, the smell of the detergent on her clothes. As alluring as Rose’s presence was, there was something so reassuring about it, too.

She felt faint, gentle pressure on the back of her shoulder, and she wondered for a moment if Rose had kissed her, before she fell asleep. 

\--

The next morning Luisa woke up with Rose still in her bed. She really didn’t want to get up and just wanted to enjoy this feeling, but she also knew she and Rose had to get to their 8am Western Civ class. She’d woken up before her alarm. She generally did. She turned off the alarm to ensure it wouldn’t wake Rose and got out of bed. She tucked the sheets around Rose, and went to the bathroom to get ready.

When she got out of the bathroom, Rose was still sleeping, and Luisa thought about how much Rose looked like she belonged in her bed. 

Luisa went to the kitchen to make coffee, and heard Rose’s alarm go off followed by a string of groans and curses. Luisa chuckled fondly. Rose was not a morning person, and she felt a pang of guilt knowing that Rose lost sleep because of her.

When Rose got out of the bathroom, Luisa was ready with a travel mug of coffee.

“Thanks,” Rose said gratefully, taking it.

“I’m sorry for waking you last night,” Luisa said, contrite. She couldn’t quite meet Rose’s eyes.

“Hey,” Rose said, palming Luisa’s cheek.

Luisa peered up at her.

“If you need an anchor, I’ll be your anchor, okay?” Rose said with a smile. “I’m here.” 

Luisa swallowed hard. “Okay,” she said softly. “Thanks.”

Rose sighed and let Luisa go. “I guess we have to go to class.”

Luisa laughed. “Come on, let’s go.”

She looked back at her bed ruefully. What she would have given to have stayed in that bed all day long with Rose. 

\--

Luisa came home from school one day to find Rose lounging on the sofa and watching the evening news. Luisa set her backpack down in their room and then came back to the living room to recline half on top of Rose.

“It’s a grim state of affairs,” Luisa commented.

Rose nodded in agreement. “It is,” she said. “God, this state is goddamn weird.”

“It is,” Luisa agreed. The longer she lived in Florida, the more she realized that she really needed to leave. She had already committed that when it came time to apply to medical school, she would apply outside of Florida. She thought it would do wonders for her mental health. It was still a couple years away, but there was no way she could spend the rest of her life here. “I can’t wait to leave.”

Rose looked up, startled. “Are you planning on transferring?”

“No, no,” Luisa assured. “I’m just thinking that when it’s time to apply for medical school, I’d focus on schools outside of Florida.”

“Oh,” Rose sighed. “Okay, good. Good. Yeah, I’m thinking about leaving Florida after I graduate, too. But it really depends on what kind of law school I get into. Not everyone has a 152 IQ, you know.”

Luisa smacked Rose’s leg. “Yeah, as if you have any problems with school.”

Rose smacked Luisa’s leg back. “Not everyone can read something once and remember it, you know.”

“Have you thought about where you want to go?” Luisa asked.

“No, not really,” Rose said. “I think I’ll have to see how the next couple years go to get an idea of what’s realistic for me. Have you given it thought?”

“I don’t see anything changing in terms of your grades,” Luisa said. “I haven’t given it too much thought, either. I guess I’m waiting to see what’s realistic, too.”

“We both know you’re not going to have a problem with that.”

Luisa shrugged. “I’m more worried I’ll…” Luisa trailed off and made a whirling motion next to her head with her index finger.

“I told you I’d watch out for you for that,” Rose said softly.

“I know,” Luisa murmured. “But how will you stop it if it happens?”

Rose swallowed. “I guess we’ll just have to keep living together until graduation.”

Luisa smiled fondly. “And afterward?”

“Maybe we’ll go to the same school—me for law school and you for med school.”

“I’ve thought about Stanford,” Luisa admitted. “That does have a good law school _and_ med school. Maybe we can go together.”

“I’ve thought about Stanford too,” Rose said. “And yes, maybe we can. Maybe we’ll just have to spend the rest of our lives together.”

The thought made Luisa smile. “Do you promise?”

“Ours will be the greatest friendship the world has ever known,” Rose joked. “Up there with Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.”

“You could be the Tesla to my Twain,” Luisa said.

“The Gayle to my Oprah.”

“The Thelma to my Louise.”

“You criminal,” Rose teased. “You can be the Bonnie to my Clyde, I guess.”

“What? No,” Luisa said. “I’m Clyde. _You’re_ Bonnie.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one would ever think you’re Clyde. You’re definitely Bonnie.”

At that moment, the front door opened, and Kara stepped inside. “Neither one of you have the stones to rob banks,” she said, taking off her shoes. “You’re both more likely to be the hostages in a bank robbery.”

Luisa and Rose scowled at her. “We would not!” they said together. 

“Yes, you would,” Kara said. “And anyway, even if you were the robbers, don’t get it twisted. As soon as the cops got one of you, the other would fall apart. It could never work.”

“What makes you think we’d get caught?” Rose asked sullenly. 

Kara smiled. “Bonnie and Clyde got caught,” she pointed out smugly.

“Oh, shut up.”

Kara laughed and went to her room.

“We wouldn’t get caught,” Luisa pouted.

“No, we wouldn’t,” Rose agreed. 

“And even if we did get caught, we could run away,” Luisa said. “We’ve already agreed a life on the lam together is better than a day in lockup.”

“In that scenario, they were only looking for me.”

Luisa looked insulted. “Are you saying you wouldn’t live a life on the lam if they were looking for me?”

Rose laughed. “No, I’m not saying that. I would live a life on the lam if they were looking for you, but it’d be better if we were both on the lam. That would mean leaving each other was mutually assured destruction, so we’d have to stay together.”

“I don’t need an incentive to stay with you,” Luisa said sincerely. 

Rose gave her a big smile. “I don’t need an incentive either.”

Luisa never really experienced someone wanting to be around her. Her mother was gone and her father gallivanted around the world. Rafael didn’t really count, he was just a little kid. Luisa had friends, but never anyone she could count on for anything more than a drunken night out. Even Allison did not want to spend very much time with her. But Rose was _always_ up for spending time together, even if they shared a room. 

Luisa just had so many feelings sometimes, she thought she would burst. Or shatter. Did it even matter? She always felt like she had too many feelings compared to other people, and she just felt _crazy_ because of it. How could she feel herself going crazy with affection for this girl, and Rose just seemed so…cool? Not aloof, because Rose was so good to her. But Luisa felt overwhelmed and dazzled by everything about Rose.

She spent so much time just watching Rose sometimes—she loved the way Rose brushed her hair, the way her lips moved into quirky little smiles. She loved the smell of Rose’s shampoo or the way she smiled so reluctantly sometimes. She loved that Rose opened cans for her when she had a paper cut. 

Rose was a dream, but she was real. Rose lined up so much with what Luisa had dreamed of her entire life, sometimes Luisa questioned reality. Maybe Luisa was crazy in an institution somewhere and created Rose out of desperation.

“You’re my best friend,” Luisa murmured. “Are you even real?”

Rose gave her a hard pinch on the shoulder. “Yes, I am,” she murmured back. 

Even that started to feel good as the pain subsided.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose loved living with Luisa, but it was also getting to be too much. Familiarity was supposed to breed contempt, but with Luisa, it only engendered more affection. Rose just didn’t understand it. She’d never experienced the instant attraction followed by sustained affection for anyone other than Luisa. It was driving Rose crazy. 

She thought it was enough just to be friends. Rose didn’t want to lose Luisa as a friend, so even if friendship wasn’t enough, friendship was better than nothing. But what ended up happening is that living with Luisa only made Rose fall deeper in love. It was the way Luisa juggled fruit before putting it away after a trip to the grocery store. Or the way Luisa once convinced a random unicyclist to let her ride it for a stretch of the beach, since apparently, she’d been a part of the unicycle club in high school. It was her cute snores and the way she coordinated highlighters for each class, so that each course had its own color. She loved the dorky jokes Luisa made. She loved that Luisa was competitive and always rushed the last few steps to the lecture hall before their Western Civilization class just to get to the door before her. The girl could turn anything into a competition, but at least she was chivalrous enough to hold the door open for Rose. 

It was a really sad day when Fall quarter came to an end. They no longer had their Tuesday, Thursday, Friday routine, and it was unlikely they’d take another class together, at least in that academic year. And Rose had to go back home for the holidays and deal with her family again. She thought it would be easier to deal with her parents now that she was an adult and away at college, but in a lot of ways, it was actually harder. 

She thought once when there was no court and family law order to deal with, things would be simpler, but now it was all on _her_. At least when there was a family law order, she just went along for the ride. Now, her parents put her in the middle and forced _her_ to choose between them. It might have been more palatable if she thought they actually cared about her, but it was more about hurting one another. She knew that her parents loved her, but she also knew her parents’ hatred for one another and need to hurt each other outweighed any love they actually had for her. Consequently, any time she spent at her father’s house, her mother made her feel guilty for missing out on time with her, and any time she spent at her mother’s house, her father made her feel guilty for missing out on time with him. She just wanted them to stop, and wished she could have stayed in the apartment even if it was alone. She never had a problem being alone. 

Over the winter break, she liked being off school, but she missed Luisa. She had hopes that she could spend another New Year’s Eve with Luisa, but Luisa was “dragged” off to Prague on a family vacation with her father, brother and her father’s girlfriend.

“Believe me,” Luisa said. “I’d rather be with you.”

She didn’t hear talk to Luisa on the phone much while Luisa was away, although she did get nearly daily emails. 

Rose missed speaking to her, and she was looking forward to going back to school just to be around Luisa again.

\--

Rose knew Luisa was coming back to the States late on a Wednesday night, so she didn’t expect a call although it would be nice. The call did come later in the afternoon on Thursday though.

Rose lit up when she saw Luisa’s name on the caller ID. She assumed Luisa was likely just waking up, likely still jet-lagged after spending 10 days in Prague.

“Hey fella!”

“Hey lady!” Luisa said. “It feels like it’s been _so_ long.”

“You’re telling me,” Rose said. “At least you’ve been traveling. I’ve been stuck going back and forth between my parents’ houses.”

Luisa chuckled. “How’s that going?” 

Rose sighed. “Okay, I guess. Maybe one day I’ll have guts to stand up to them.”

“That day doesn’t have to be today. It’s hard standing up to parents.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Rose said. “I just don’t want to be 30 years old and still like this.”

“You’re just being respectful. They’re the ones who should try to get it together. You shouldn’t have to be in the middle. I’m sorry they do that to you, and I wish I could help. But you’re just trying to be a good daughter to them—you don’t need to feel bad for not telling them how to do their jobs as parents.”

“I guess,” Rose said glumly. 

“You can always spend holidays with me.” 

Rose chuckled. “Yeah? You think your dad will pack me off to Prague with the rest of you? I can ride cargo,” she joked. 

Luisa laughed, though it sounded a little hollow. “I think it’s going to be a while before I go home again,” she said softly.

There was something in Luisa’s voice that bothered Rose. Something was not right.

“What’s wrong?”

Luisa sighed. She was quiet for a long moment. Rose just waited her out. She and Luisa were very similar in that sometimes they just needed a moment to gather their thoughts. She knew Luisa well enough not to press yet. 

“My dad married Melissa. That’s why he took us all to Prague,” Luisa began. “But Melissa and I had this…moment.”

Rose’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem like Luisa was finished speaking. 

“I think Melissa hit on me,” Luisa said softly.

“ _What_?” Rose couldn’t help but blurt it out. Rage was beginning to bubble up inside of her. 

“I know,” Luisa said in a rush. “It was right after the ceremony. I was getting another glass of champagne and she pulled me into a corner, and she said she hoped we’d always be friends. And then she kissed me on the mouth. It was really quick. And later, she came to my hotel room and did it again, and we like…made out for a little bit. But not really. Like, there was no tongue. I didn’t know what to do, so I just…I didn’t say anything. So then she left. It’s weird, and I don’t know, it’s just _so_ messed up. So as soon as we got back, I needed to get away, so I came home,” Luisa’s explanation was a little disjointed, and she herself sounded a little confused. Luisa’s words came out in a rushed jumble.

“You went home?” Rose asked, momentarily confused. “Our home?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” Rose asked softly. She clenched and unclenched her fist. The rage she was feeling was threatening to overwhelm her—she couldn’t stand anyone hurting Luisa. But at the moment, the most important thing was to make sure that Luisa was okay, and not how much she wanted to beat Luisa’s new stepmother to death. 

“Yeah,” Luisa said softly. “I don’t know if I’m making too much of it, but she’s always been weird around me. And everything that happened at the wedding just weirded me out. I can’t be at the Maracay, so I just came home. Now that she and my dad are married, I thought I should just make myself scarce. My dad married her, and Rafael seems to like her, so I just thought it was better that I put myself out of the equation. It’ll be a lot better if I’m not around, and I don’t want to be around her.”

“I…I really don’t know what to say, Luisa,” Rose admitted. “Maybe you should tell your dad.”

“I don’t know,” Luisa said. “I don’t know if she is after my dad’s money or what. But I know after what happened with me and Allison in high school, my dad will blame me, so it’s not worth me mentioning. He doesn’t care that I went home, and he’s not going to care if I just make myself scarce for a while. So that’s what I’m going to do.”

Rose swallowed. “What happened with Allison in high school?”

This bitch again. Rose often entertained fantasies of punching Allison in the face. 

Luisa groaned. “I don’t even want to think about it right now,” she said. “I’ll tell you one day, but I just can’t even go there right now. Just…because of it, I know my dad thinks I’m some kind of hussy, and he’ll think I did something to encourage my new stepmommy, and I just can’t face it right now.”

“You didn’t do anything to encourage her,” Rose murmured. “This wasn’t your fault, Luisa. She’s a creep. She’s…she’s a predator.”

“I know,” Luisa said. “But he’s not going to see it that way, and he pays for my education, he pays for my apartment. He pays for everything. I’m totally dependent on him. And even if I weren’t, I can’t afford to piss him off because of Rafael. I don’t think he and Melissa will be married for very long anyway. She’s his sixth wife. I can just stay out of the way until they split up. This isn’t a big deal. I hardly go back to the Maracay anyway.”

“Luisa…” Rose trailed off. She didn’t want to nag Luisa who sounded upset as it was, but this all just felt wrong to her.

“I know it’s not ideal,” Luisa interjected. “But I can’t tell my dad, and nothing is going to change. It’s better if I just stay out of the way. Raf can have a mom now, and I’m here anyway. What’s the big deal, really?”

“It’s just really creepy she’s hitting on her stepdaughter.”

“It is,” Luisa agreed. “But that’s only, like, a legal relationship. I would never look at her as my stepmother. And she _clearly_ doesn’t think I’m her stepdaughter.”

“It’s just so inappropriate. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Luisa sighed. “I guess. It was always just easier when none of my father’s wives really had _any_ interest in me. All the others ones, I could have been a dog or a cactus for all the difference it made to them. This was the only one I’ve ever had any kind of prolonged contact with, even though I was still living at the Maracay with the others. Maybe she’s totally normal, and I’m just blowing it out of proportion. Do you think?”

“No,” Rose said emphatically. Rose was still so angry, and she was angrier because it was obviously totally abnormal and inappropriate, but this woman had Luisa so twisted up that Luisa was now thinking that she was the one blowing it out of proportion. “It’s not normal for 25 year old women to go around kissing the 17 year old daughters of their new husband, not in some corner after the reception, and definitely not alone in hotel rooms. You’re not blowing it out of proportion, if anything, you’re taking this too well. I would be flipping out.”

Luisa groaned. “I don’t see the point in flipping out. I just want to forget about it.”

“Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know,” Luisa said. “But I just want to forget about it. It wasn’t bad as far as kisses go, so no harm, no foul. I’ll just do my best to avoid going home so I don’t have to see her.”

“What she did was wrong,” Rose said. “She shouldn’t have done that. And you shouldn’t have to avoid going home because of her. This is _your_ family.”

“No, she shouldn’t have,” Luisa sighed. “But I should have known something was wrong. Her eye contact was way too intense, and I’m not that close with my father anyway. I’m just bummed about Raf, but I’m not there and he needs a mom. She’s good to him, so I need to step aside.”

“Ugh, she needs to be on the Megan’s Law registry.”

Luisa laughed. “Oh, come on. I’m almost 18.”

“Ugh. It doesn’t matter. She could go to prison. Maybe she should be _in_ prison.”

“Over a couple of kisses?”

“It’s not about the kisses, it’s how inappropriate she was! She’s a predator.”

“Could you imagine if I started an affair with my father’s wife? I could go on _Jerry Springer_.”

“Ugh.”

“Maybe we’re actually meant to be,” Luisa joked. “Star-crossed lovers. I mean, she is really beautiful, my father has good taste in women.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Rose said. “I’ll never allow it.”

“ _You_ won’t allow it?” 

“Yeah, you shouldn’t worry about your dad, you should worry about me and what I would do if you started an affair with your stepmother. We already agreed I would be vetting your dates from now on. You’re violating our agreement.”

Luisa chuckled. “And of course, I can’t renege on that.”

“No, you may not,” Rose said. “Your next girlfriend won’t be some 25 year old gold digger who should be on a sex offender registry and is married to your father. Your next girlfriend will be appropriately aged who has no relationship at all to your father.”

Luisa laughed, “and how do you know Melissa is not my soulmate?” she teased.

“Because I’ll kill her if she touches you again,” Rose said bluntly. She was enraged and wanting vengeance. If she ever met this woman, Rose was going to punch her right in the face. And Rose meant it, if Melissa _ever_ touched Luisa again, she would kill her. Florida was a big state with a lot of places to be rid of a body forever. “Your soulmate can’t be a dead woman.”

“Some loves transcend life and death.”

“Luisa, trust me. You and Melissa are definitely _not_ the greatest love story ever told.”

Luisa laughed sadly. “What if she and my dad do end up staying together? What am I going to do then? What if _they’re_ the greatest love story ever told? And even if they aren’t, what if this is the marriage that sticks?”

Luisa sounded despondent, and Rose was desperate to fix it. 

“We’ll figure it out, honey. I promise we will. And I will never let her touch you again. I promise. I will find a way to protect you, even if I have to stowaway on a flight.”

“I just don’t think my dad would choose me,” Luisa said. “Once I’m legally an adult, my father doesn’t have to choose me. I’m not even sure he’d choose me now, honestly. Raf really likes her, and he’s never really grown up with a mom. I’m just his sister, it’s not like I can take the place of a mother. I’m just not the kind of girl people choose, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Rose said bluntly. “I would choose you.” Rose was fairly certain she would always choose Luisa.

“Thanks,” Luisa muttered. She sounded suspiciously close to tears.

Rose bit her lip. She did not like that. She had a feeling Luisa was downplaying everything, and she was getting proof now. Rose made a decision. 

“I would,” Rose assured quietly. “I would always choose you.”

Luisa let out a soft sigh. “I know. Thank you.”

“I’m coming home,” Rose declared. She’d been ready to leave the moment she heard Luisa was back at the apartment, but she’d made a decision. She still had a little over another week with her parents, but she had more than enough reason to go home to Luisa. 

“Oh, no. Rose, no. It’s okay. It’s totally fine. Don’t come home. Your parents—”

“I told you. I would choose you.”

“But what if they get mad? I don’t want them to make your life harder than they already do, and you’ll be home soon anyway. Please, it’s okay I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Rose said. “Don’t put the deadbolt on.”

\--

It took more than 3 hours to drive from Marathon to Miami, but Rose didn’t care. She gave a half-assed, half-hearted excuse to her parents, and broke traffic laws to reach Luisa as quickly as possible. 

When Rose got home, Luisa was in her bed listening to Dolly Parton. Rose bit back a smile at the mere sight of Luisa, because these were not the best of times. But Rose couldn’t stop the smile when Luisa scooted to make room for her. 

Rose climbed into Luisa’s bed, forced to press close because of how small the bed was. Rose rested her chin on Luisa’s shoulder, rubbing Luisa’s back.

“Hi,” Rose said softly.

“Hi,” Luisa said quietly. “You really didn’t have to come.”

“It’s nothing. I told you, I would choose you.”

Luisa released a sharp breath and abruptly turned around so that they were face to face. Their noses were nearly touching. Rose’s heart sank when it was apparent that Luisa had been crying.

“It’s _not_ nothing,” Luisa said. “It’s not. You _do_ always choose me, and you don’t even understand what that…what that means to me. No one _ever_ chooses me, except for you.”

Rose swallowed hard. Luisa was too close, it was all too close. Too much. 

“You’re my best friend,” Rose said quietly.

“And you’re mine,” Luisa murmured. “But I…” she trailed off. 

“What?” Rose asked gently.

Luisa swallowed hard. “Nothing.” She averted her eyes. 

“Luisa,” Rose prodded gently. “You can tell me anything.” She palmed Luisa’s cheek.

Luisa peered into Rose’s eyes. Luisa swallowed visibly and bit her lip. “But I like you as more than a friend,” she breathed. “I love you. I have for a long time.”

Rose froze. Those were the words she’d been dying to hear for so long, and she never thought it would happen. “What?” Rose was confused and her brain was malfunctioning. She wasn’t sure she heard what she thought she heard. What was happening? She’d hoped for this for so long, she wondered if she was hallucinating the whole thing—that she’d finally cracked under the pressure of unrequited love and one-sided pining and hallucinated this confession of love. 

Luisa’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh my God,” she said, “oh my God.” She scrambled away, stumbling out of the bed. “Oh my God, I have to go.”

“Luisa, wait.” Rose stood as well. 

“No, no. I’m sorry. You don’t—it’s…I have to go.”

Rose reached for her. “Luisa, wait! Calm down.”

Luisa pulled away. “I’m—I’ll go. I’ll go.”

Rose grabbed Luisa’s arm, the grip was not very gentle. “I said to calm down, Luisa,” Rose said, her voice stern.

Luisa froze at the tone of Rose’s voice. It was clear she had never been spoken to that way by Rose. 

Rose let go of Luisa’s arm and cupped Luisa’s cheek. “Just calm down for a _second_ , okay?” she asked tenderly. 

Luisa was wide-eyed, and nodded. 

“Jesus Christ,” Rose said with a shaky laugh. She released Luisa’s cheek. “You just…you can’t say something like that and _bolt_ , Luisa,” Rose said, running a trembling hand through her hair. She gave Luisa a small smile. “You…you have to be one hundred percent honest with me, okay? Because as long as you’re honest, no matter what the truth is, it’ll be okay. But if you lie to me right now and I find out that you lied, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to move past that, okay? Will you be honest with me? Can you be honest with me?”

Rose’s heart was beating fiercely in her chest. 

Luisa nodded.

“Did you mean what you said?”

Luisa grimaced and her fists clenched at her sides. But she looked up at Rose. “I did,” she said thickly. “I meant it.”

Rose released a soft gasp. “You did?” she asked. “Because I’m going to ask you again, and you have an out…did you mean it?”

Luisa’s throat bobbed. “I meant it,” she admitted quietly. 

Rose let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good,” she breathed. “That is very, very good.”

In truth, she wasn’t sure what she would have done if Luisa said she hadn’t meant it. If she said she just got caught up in the moment. It would have been _okay_ , because a person just felt what they felt, but if Luisa said all that and hadn’t meant it, Rose knew she never would have recovered from the broken heart.

Luisa bit her lip. “Is it good?” she asked hopefully.

“It is very good,” Rose said. “Because I’ve loved you for a long time, too.”

Luisa’s smile was bright. “You have?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Oh my God,” Luisa said. “Just kiss me already, then.”

Rose had to laugh, and she felt tears spring to her eyes. “Five seconds ago, you were ready to leave me behind. Now you’re telling me to kiss you. Just give me some time to catch up, fella.”

“That’s because you took too long to respond. I’ve told you that I’m delicate, lady!”

Rose chuckled. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “You have mentioned that. I’m sorry. I just wanted to hear that for so long, and when it finally happened, I thought I was hallucinating.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Luisa murmured. “I shouldn’t have just dropped that on you like that. But I meant every word.”

“Come here,” Rose said softly, she reached to pull Luisa close. 

Luisa smiled. “Maybe I should make you work for it,” she teased.

“I’ll say please, honey. Come here. Pretty please,” Rose breathed. 

Luisa swallowed hard and reached up and cupped the sides of Rose’s neck, and she stood up on tip toe to press her lips against Rose. 

Luisa kissed her, and Rose kissed back. 

Rose’s heart pounded in her chest, and Luisa was so close, Rose wondered if Luisa could feel it. Rose’s hands clenched into Luisa’s hair, and Luisa’s hands were still on the sides of Rose’s neck, her hands were gentle, but Luisa’s lips were not. 

Rose had spent so long dreaming about this moment. Maybe it was a dream or a fantasy, but it didn’t matter right now, because she was going to give into it. 

They kissed again. And again. And again. 

“Wow,” Rose said, when they pulled apart.

Luisa smiled. “Wow,” she echoed. 

“I really wasn’t expecting this…”

Luisa grinned. “And I was?”

“It’s just hard for me to believe this is really happening,” Rose said. “I’ve just wanted this for so long.”

“You?” Luisa asked. “I’m still wondering if maybe I’m just crazy and this is all in my head.”

“You aren’t crazy,” Rose said softly. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

Luisa smiled. “How long?”

“I’ve wanted this since the first day we met.”

“Oh, please!” Luisa scoffed.

“No, really.” Rose said. “The first time I saw you, I heard bells—”

“Now I know you’re making this up.”

“It was the bell tower, you nerd. It was noon. Let me finish.”

“Oh,” Luisa said, blushing. “I do actually remember that.”

“You were wearing jeans, a white tank top and your red flip flops and I spilled my coffee all over you.”

“It was the skateboarder’s fault, otherwise you never would have been so clumsy.”

“Oh my God, let me finish.”

“But it’s _our_ story.”

“But I’m trying to tell you that I’ve been attracted to you since the first day we met, fella!”

“Oh,” Luisa said. She laughed. “Sorry, lady. I thought you were just telling me how much you remembered of that day. I kinda thought you were showing off your memory skills.”

“Oh my God. This is what I get for falling in love with a competitive teenager.”

“Excuse you, but you’re only 19. You are also a teenager.”

“Yeah, but you’re still technically a child. Oh my God, you’re still technically a child! I could get arrested for this. Jesus Christ.”

“Will you please relax?” Luisa asked. “I’m 17. I turn 18 in three months. You’re fine. I’ve looked up the laws.”

Rose tilted her head in confusion. “You looked up the laws?”

Luisa blushed. “I mean, yeah, sure. I kind of looked it up in general. Not specific to us, I wasn’t going to be presumptuous. I mean, you’re fine. I just can’t get with, like, a senior or a grad student, but yeah, you’re definitely okay. There’s less than two years between us.”

“This is such a weird day, the whole time I drove here I was thinking about how I could get Melissa arrested, and now I need to make sure _I_ don’t get arrested.”

Luisa gave her a crooked smile. “I guess I should thank her for creeping me out so much.”

“I’ll kill her,” Rose vowed. 

“Oh wow,” Luisa said. “Your eyes get kind of scary when you threaten murder.”

“That’s because when I threaten murder, I mean it. When you threaten murder, it’s cute.”

Luisa scowled. “I can be scary.”

“You’re a puppy.”

“You’re a marshmallow.”

Rose sighed. “I keep telling you that I’m not.” She swallowed hard. “Are you sure you really see me as I am?” she asked timidly. Luisa truly seemed to think Rose just had a hard exterior and a soft underbelly, but that was genuinely not the case. If she could have murdered Melissa without consequence, she probably would have done it. If Luisa didn’t really see her as she was, then Luisa loved a Rose that didn’t actually exist. The thought made her heart clench.

“I see you _exactly_ for who you are,” Luisa murmured. “A misanthrope who loves puppies and has always been good to me. You never put sugar in your coffee even though you have a sweet tooth.” 

Luisa pushed Rose onto her bed and crawled in beside her, and they laid there, facing one another. Luisa draped her leg over Rose and pulled in close.

“I see you,” Luisa said softly. “I see you, and I love you. I love that you’re grumpy. I love that when those tourists asked you to take a picture that one time, you said ‘no thank you,’ and kept walking. I love that you always have my back. I love watching bad TV with you. I’ve loved literally everything we’ve ever done together. Of course I see you as you really are. Are you sure you see me as I am?”

“I do,” Rose assured. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever,” Rose confessed. “I thought it would go away, but the more I got to know you, the stronger I felt. You have no idea what it would do to me seeing you with Allison, knowing she didn’t deserve you, and how horribly she treated you, but you just loved _her_. But I love that you could love someone even when they were horrible because I know now you could love me.”

“You aren’t horrible! You’re _wonderful_. You’re the best. And I’m sorry,” Luisa said sorrowfully. “I would never…” she swallowed hard. “I thought that things with her was just as good as things got. But then I met _you_ , and no one has ever been as good to me as you. You made me see her for who she was. I could have married her, and I would have stayed with her no matter what she did to me, and you know she would have married me for my family’s money. Meeting you, knowing you, you were the one that taught me that accepting someone’s awful behavior wasn’t the price you paid for loving them, because you have never been anything but _wonderful_ to me. I never would have allowed her to be around you if I had known how that hurt you. I would never do something like that to you. I’m so sorry, Rose. I—”

“You didn’t know,” Rose cut off gently. “I just wanted you to know that I knew how I felt about you the very first day we met, and it’s never gone away. This is why I would _always_ choose you. I have never felt like this with anyone but you.”

Luisa sniffled. “I’ve loved you for a long time, too. Even when I was with…her, _you_ were actually the one I wanted. I just didn’t know you could feel that way about me.”

“God, you’re oblivious, fella.”

“Me?” Luisa said. “You’re oblivious, too! I was dropping so many hints.”

“I took a ballroom dance class for you.”

“I danced with you in a literal ballroom at my father’s hotel and made it snow!”

Luisa and Rose stared at one another. Rose decided it was best not to engage in a battle of one-upmanship with Luisa.

Rose smiled. “In this world there’s nothing I would rather do, ‘cause I’m happy just to dance with you,” she sang.

Luisa smiled back. “Just to dance with you, is everything I need,” she sang softly.

“C’mere,” Rose said, pulling Luisa even closer. “Pretty please,” she added.

Luisa obeyed, and Rose kissed her again.

She never wanted this to stop.

\--

Rose couldn’t stop staring at Luisa’s face. They were so close, and now that she’d finally confessed her feelings and Luisa had confessed hers, Rose thought she could just stare at Luisa’s perfect face for as long as she wanted. She still couldn’t quite believe it was real, but she’d fallen in love with that face at first sight. She couldn’t stop touching Luisa’s face, her neck, her hair. It was better than anything she’d ever imagined. 

Luisa had her eyes closed and smiled slowly. It was a sight that Rose loved. 

“I can feel you staring,” Luisa said.

“What are you going to do about it?” Rose challenged softly.

Luisa opened her eyes and touched Rose’s cheek. They stared at each other for a moment before Luisa kissed her and Rose’s eyes fluttered shut. 

“You are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Luisa said quietly once they pulled apart. “It’s just unreal.” Her hand stroked Rose’s cheek. 

Rose opened her eyes and gazed into Luisa’s eyes.

“Even though I spilled cold coffee all over you the first day we met?”

“Are you kidding?” Luisa said with a crooked smile. “I’ve never had a pretty girl spill coffee all over me. If you hadn’t been so pretty, I probably would have been pissed. But I can’t get mad at a face like yours.”

“Are you really that shallow?”

“Yes, yes, I am.”

Rose laughed, “and what happens if I get disfigured?”

“Scars are cool,” Luisa murmured. “Besides, you’re a lot more than a pretty face.” She paused. “Although it helps, you know,” she said with a grin. 

Rose snorted and smacked Luisa’s back. “You say the sweetest things, babe.”

Luisa grinned. She snuggled up to Rose. “I just can’t believe it’s _me_ you like.”

“I love you,” Rose said sincerely. “Just be with me, and I’ll prove it.”

“I’m with you,” Luisa whispered.

“Just me,” Rose pleaded.

Luisa smiled. “Are you saying you want to be exclusive with me?”

“Yes,” Rose said softly. If Luisa didn’t want to be exclusive, there was nothing Rose could do about that. She’d never force Luisa into something she didn’t want to be in, but Rose had never experienced jealousy on the scale she experienced when it came to Luisa. It was almost frightening. She wasn’t sure if she could stand it if Luisa dated other people. She couldn’t do anything about it, if that’s what Luisa wanted, but it would still hurt like hell.

Luisa’s smile got wider. “Good, because I want to be exclusive with you.”

Rose beamed. “Okay,” she said. “Okay, that’s…that’s great.”  
\--

After a couple of hours of lying next to each other, reality set in when Luisa’s newest stepmother called her cell phone.

“Oh God,” Luisa said, dismayed. She sent the call to voicemail.

Rose bit the inside of her cheek. “What are you going to do about her?”

Rose wished she could just will Melissa out of existence, but since she got Luisa today, she knew she’d already filled her quota for wishful thinking. 

“I don’t know,” Luisa sighed. “I’m not sure I’m going to do anything. Why do I have to, right? Are…are you going to be mad if I just do nothing?”

“No, of course not,” Rose said quickly. “I just hate that she’s making you feel this way.”

Luisa smiled sadly. “Thanks,” she said. “I just want to forget about it for a while if that’s okay.”

“It’s okay,” Rose assured. She stroked Luisa’s hair. “Let’s just forget about her for now. I just am _so_ glad this is happening.” She cupped Luisa’s cheek.

Luisa leaned into the touch. “I want to take you out tonight,” she whispered. “On a real, proper date. Will you go out with me?”

Affection swelled up in Rose from head to toe. She smiled and nodded. “Yes, absolutely.”

Luisa grinned. “Okay, great.”

\--

As Rose and Luisa got ready for their date, sharing the same bathroom, Rose thought how ridiculous it was to be nervous, but she was, indeed, nervous. It seemed sort of silly—she and Luisa already lived together, sharing the same room. They did a ton of things together, a lot of which could arguably be considered dates when she looked back on it in retrospect. But as Rose straightened her hair, she couldn’t help the flutter of butterflies in her belly. She wasn’t sure what Luisa had in mind since she refused to say, but she’d never felt this kind of breathless anticipation before. 

At 6:30pm, Luisa left the apartment promising to be back to pick her up by 7pm. Rose was actually glad to be alone for a little while so she could hyperventilate in peace and not make Luisa worry or let on how much she really loved that all this was happening. 

Rose wished she weren’t such a maladjusted ding dong, but then again, Luisa had fallen for her anyway, so maybe Luisa liked maladjusted ding dongs. The girl was into some pretty weird stuff.

At 7pm on the dot, there was knocking on the door.

“Who is it?” Rose yelled, confused.

“It’s me!” Luisa yelled back.

Rose grinned. “Did you forget your key?” she asked, opening the door. 

“No,” Luisa said, grinning at her in a tight little black dress and holding a bouquet of roses. “But this is a first date, and just because we live together doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the first date experience.” She held the flowers out. “You look beautiful,” she said, her eyes roaming over Rose’s red dress. “Wow.”

Rose grinned and accepted the flowers, breathing deeply. “Thank you,” she said. “You didn’t have to get me flowers.”

The last time she’d gotten flowers, it was when she graduated high school. She’d never actually received flowers from anyone other than her parents, unless one counted the dinky little flowers that got passed around as Valentine-grams in high school. Which Rose did not. 

“You love roses.”

“I do,” Rose acknowledged. “Um...do I tell you to come in, or are you just going to come in since you do live here?”

“I would never be so presumptuous. Are you inviting me in?”

Rose smiled. “I am. I just have to put these in some water.”

“Okay,” Luisa said. She stepped inside while Rose found a vase. She looked around. “Nice place you got here. Do you have roommates?”

“Yes,” Rose said. “Two of them are okay, but the one I share a room with is a real nerd who has a thing for me and has this compulsive need to keep everything in the refrigerator lined up with the labels facing outward.”

Luisa nodded. “She just sounds like a tidy person who has good taste.”

Rose filled the vase and began to fill it up at the sink in the kitchen. “She’s tidy, but I’m not sure about her taste. I think she has a thing for ding dongs.”

“Mmm. From where I’m standing she’s got _excellent_ taste.”

“Well, she is a little cutie pie,” Rose acknowledged with a grin.

“Oh? You think she’s cute?”

“Sure, she’s cute. You should see her when she gets mad. It’s kind of hilarious.”

“I bet it’s scary.”

“No, it’s hilarious. Trust me. She gets really pouty and surly, and then she gets over it after about 15 seconds.”

“Rose Ruvelle, you know that I’m a grudge holder,” Luisa said, temporarily dropping the act.

‘Not good at role play,’ Rose noted. She laughed. “I know. Are you cancelling our date because of it?”

“No way.”

Rose put the roses in water and spent a few moments arranging them properly, finally stepping back to admire them. “Beautiful,” she murmured.

“Yes, you are.” Luisa held her arm out. “Shall we?”

Rose linked arms. “We shall.”

\--

Rose grinned as Luisa pulled into the parking lot of their little Cuban restaurant. 

“I know it’s not really special,” Luisa said. “But so much has happened here and they have music tonight, so I thought…”

“It’s perfect,” Rose assured.

So much of their story happened in this restaurant, and Rose thought it was only fitting that their first proper date would happen here.

Luisa gave her a relieved smile. “Okay, great.”

The restaurant was the perfect choice because it was so familiar. They knew the menu well, and had always gone family style, so it was comforting to keep to a routine. The food was always good, and by now, they knew most of the staff and many of the regular patrons. But when they finished their meals, and people started dancing, Rose suddenly felt awkward and shy. She’d never experienced this clumsy feeling before, except for that first night, and it seemed like Luisa was feeling the same way. Usually it was Luisa who got excited when she heard a song that she particularly liked and then she would pull Rose to the floor. This time, even though Luisa hummed along to at least five songs, they just sat and watched other people dancing.

Then the band began to play ‘I’m Happy Just to Dance with You,’ and Luisa grabbed Rose’s hand.

“It’s our song,” she said with a grin. “Come on.”

Rose didn’t need to be asked twice, and this was absolutely their song. If Luisa hadn’t pulled her to the dance floor, Rose would have pulled Luisa.

For a few verses, they were happy just to dance along, their bodies pressed together. 

“If somebody tries to take my place, let’s pretend we just can’t see _her_ face,” Luisa sang.

Rose smiled at the pronoun switch. “In this world there’s nothing I’d rather do ‘cause I’m happy just to dance with you.”

“We should have done this so much sooner,” Luisa murmured.

“I know,” Rose said. “But we’ve got plenty of time.”

“Yeah,” Luisa agreed softly.

They danced until closing.

\--

When they got home, Luisa hovered by the front door.

“Am I invited in?” she asked with a sly smile.

Rose chuckled. “Are you a vampire? I already invited you in.”

“I told you, I don’t want to be presumptuous.”

Rose shook her head and pulled Luisa inside by the arm. “Get in here,” Rose said, drawing Luisa into a kiss. She slammed the front door and locked it. She pushed Luisa against the door and kissed her. She was a little rough, but Luisa seemed to like it that way, which was a relief because that’s how Rose liked it, too.

“Mmm,” Luisa hummed when they pulled apart. “I like it when _you’re_ presumptuous.”

“Luisa, honey, sweetie, baby, cram it,” Rose murmured, pushing her lips against Luisa’s again.

Luisa smiled into the kiss. “Make me,” she challenged when they pulled apart.

Rose kissed her again.

\--

That night, after they’d both showered (separately) and brushed their teeth (together), they cuddled in Luisa’s bed. 

Luisa played with Rose’s hands. “You have nice hands,” Luisa said softly, tracing patterns on Rose’s left hand before interlocking their fingers.

“You have nice everything.”

Luisa chuckled. “Are you trying to sweet talk me,” she asked. “I already got you into bed, you don’t have to sweet talk me.”

“Maybe you need to sweet talk _me_ ,” Rose said, kissing Luisa’s neck.

Luisa let out a small breath and threaded her fingers through Rose’s hair. “I can’t look at a face like yours and just want to talk,” she said, kissing her.

\--  
By the time the new quarter started, and Erin and Kara returned to the apartment, they decided it wasn’t worth trying to keep their relationship under wraps. They _could_ try, but it probably wasn’t worth it considering Erin and Kara were often in their own world and probably wouldn’t notice anyway. They weren’t going to announce their relationship to the world, but they weren’t going to hide it. They were both certain that it would just come out in due time. Anyway, they really couldn’t keep their hands off each other, so it would be difficult to hide.

There was nothing Rose wanted to do more than strip Luisa naked and get her into bed, and in truth, they’d already done that, but not much more. Luisa was still only 17, and even though she turned 18 in three months, it still made Rose queasy to think about having sex with a minor. Rose could just picture herself in the running as a Supreme Court justice and then having it come out that she fornicated with her 17 year old girlfriend when she was 19. Besides, Rose wanted to take things slow since she never even thought about taking it slow before. She’d had a series of one night stands and a few flings, but never had any relationships, so she wanted to do this one right. Whatever she could do to avoid any missteps, she would do.

One night, Luisa was making grilled cheese sandwiches and Rose kept her company in the kitchen.

“Those look good,” Rose said lightly. She gave Luisa’s butt a tap with a little force to it.

Luisa smiled. “You make them better.”

“Food tastes better when someone else makes them,” Rose said. “It’s a proven fact.”

Luisa smiled. “Put your hands down my pants,” she said. “Then I’ll think these taste pretty good.”

Rose laughed, “Unsanitary,” she whispered, but she obliged by putting her hands down Luisa’s pants and rubbing Luisa’s butt. She pressed up onto Luisa’s back and kissed Luisa’s neck.

“Mmm. See? I know these will be the best sandwiches ever.”

“Don’t I know it,” Rose murmured.

Luisa tilted her head back. “Kiss me.”

Rose pecked Luisa’s lips. “Satisfied?”

“No,” Luisa said. “That’s hardly a kiss.”

Rose let her lips linger next to Luisa’s. “You are very opinionated.”

“Maybe you should kiss the opinions out of me.”

“Maybe I like it like that, and now I won’t kiss you.”

“Maybe I won’t say anything to you.”

“Maybe I’ll take my hands out of your pants.”

Luisa sighed and turned so that Rose actually did have to take her hands out of Luisa’s pants. She put her hands behind Rose’s head, her fingernails lightly scratching into Rose’s scalp as she pulled Rose closer. “This is the kind of kiss I meant,” she murmured, as she kissed her.

Rose wasn’t sure how long they were making out, but they definitely did not hear Erin and Kara come home.

“Freeze! Miami PD!” Erin yelled. “Rose Ruvelle, step away from the minor!”

Rose and Luisa pulled apart and glared at Erin and Kara who were smirking at them.

“Oh, shit,” Luisa said. “My sandwiches.” Luisa grabbed the spatula and picked up one of the sandwiches to make sure it wasn’t burned. “Oh, perfect, actually,” she said. She put both sandwiches on a plate and turned off the stove.

Rose’s cheeks were bright pink.

“Luisa, you little liar. You guys are totally a couple!” Erin said. She poked Kara in the shoulder. “You owe me ten dollars. Give me back my ten dollars!”

“I wasn’t lying!” Luisa protested. “This just happened. It’s very new.”

“What is happening?” Rose asked, confused.

“Lies!” Erin accused. “You two are the gayest couple in the world!” She turned to Kara. “I told you Luisa was lying when she said they weren’t a couple, but you took my money anyway, and you said there was no way they were a couple because if they were, they were having the quietest sex in the world!”

“I’m sorry, but _what_ is happening?” Rose asked.

“Is all this really over ten dollars?” Kara asked, waving her hand so that it hovered over Erin’s head. 

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle!”

“Erin and Kara thought we were a couple, like months ago,” Luisa explained quietly to Rose. “Back when I caught them having their unsanitary sex on the couch.”

“We weren’t together then,” Rose assured.

“Ha,” Kara said. “In your face, Erin. I’m keeping the money.”

Erin looked at Rose and Luisa suspiciously. “You two weren’t a couple until recently?” she demanded skeptically. “You two who become the gayest people in the world when you were around each other? You weren’t a couple? What horseshit!” she exclaimed. She slapped Kara’s arm. “You should not have taken my money with all their lesbian pining! It was like a cartoon bubble! You could practically see it.”

Kara raised an eyebrow. “Calm down, half-pint. I will give you ten dollars if you just shut it.”

“First admit I was right.”

Kara sighed. “You were right.”

Erin brightened. “Oh, thanks!” She rushed up to give Rose and Luisa a hug in turn. “Well, congratulations, guys. You make the cutest little couple in the world!”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “Suddenly we’re the cutest couple, not the gayest?”

“You can be both. I just wanted my money back. Enjoy your sandwiches, guys, you should really eat them before they get cold. Food is best enjoyed at the intended temperature.” Erin grabbed Kara by the arm. “Come on, let’s give them the kitchen.”

Luisa and Rose watched their roommates leave.

Rose was still feeling overwhelmed. “They thought we were a couple?”

“Yeah,” Luisa said, her cheeks flushed. “I guess they picked up on my very obvious signals.”

“You mean _my_ very obvious signals.”

“Excuse me, Rose,” Luisa said. “But if your signals were obvious, I would have picked up on them.”

“Well, if _you_ had given obvious signals, I would have picked up on them.”

“Untrue,” Luisa said. “You’re oblivious.”

“I am not, you’re oblivious.”

Luisa sighed and hugged her. “I’m just sad we could have been together a lot longer and we missed out on all that time.”

“Well, if you want to look on the bright side, we’ve arguably gone out on a lot of dates, so how much did we miss out on?”

Luisa pouted. “We missed out on kissing.”

Rose laughed. “We’ll just have to do a lot of it to make up for lost time.”

Luisa smiled crookedly. “I don’t mind a cold grilled cheese sandwich,” she said, pulling Rose by the hand toward the bedroom. “Make out with me.”

\--

Luisa was definitely testing Rose’s will power. Rose wanted to wait until Luisa turned 18, and while Luisa admitted that she didn’t mind waiting, she was definitely testing Rose’s tenacity. It was getting especially hard because ever since they admitted their feelings for one another, they’d shared a bed every night. Sometimes it was Luisa’s, and sometimes it was Rose’s, but they shared every night and being that close all night to Luisa just made Rose want her. Badly.

They were watching _Malcolm n the Middle_ on the couch with Erin and Kara one night when Luisa put her arm around Rose and began to absently rub Rose’s breast.

It’s not that Rose minded—she liked it a _lot_ , but she gently elbowed Luisa in the side and gestured discreetly toward their roommates.

Luisa pouted, but got the message.

“It’s okay,” Erin said. “You guys have been fondling each other for years. It’s about time you moved to first base,” she declared, not taking her eyes off the TV.

“You just like watching girls fondle each other,” Kara chided.

Erin raised an eyebrow. “Of course I do,” she said. “Is there anyone in this room who doesn’t like to fondle girls, or get fondled by girls or watch girls fondle each other?”

Silence. 

“Ha!” Erin looked closely at the TV where Jane Kaczmarek as Lois was going off on a customer. “You know, Lois is kinda foxy,” she commented. “She’s spunky.”

Kara grinned. “Yeah, she is.”

Luisa shook her head. “I’m going to our room to study. Do you want to study with me?”

“Definitely,” Rose said.

Luisa and Rose escaped to their room, and shut the door. Rose pulled Luisa to her bed and pushed her down, giggling.

“We live with perverts,” Luisa declared. “Knowing them, they are probably into some very weird stuff.”

Rose nodded. “Definitely.”

\--

Rose had never been in a relationship before, so having a girlfriend was a new experience for her. She knew it wasn’t a normal relationship—she and Luisa were already living together and they shared a bed every night, but since this was her first relationship, she had no idea if she was being a good girlfriend or not. Luisa wasn’t expressing any complaints, but Luisa wasn’t really the type to complain, at least not about anything serious. Rose refused to be a bad girlfriend, but she didn’t even know how to be a good one either. 

Luisa, on the other hand, was an _excellent_ girlfriend. She was sweet, and funny, and just _sexy_ beyond belief. Luisa was a wonderful friend, but she made an even better girlfriend. Rose knew if Luisa ever broke up with her, she would be heartbroken beyond repair. 

This was a frightening thought. Before Luisa, she was always okay on her own. She didn’t really believe she would find the love she read about in books or saw in movies, and she was okay with that. She never wanted to get married, having seen the way her parents destroyed each other, and thought it was better that way. But everything about Luisa just pulled her in. Now when she thought about the future, she wanted Luisa to be in it. It was frightening, and Rose was trying her best not to let it frighten her. 

As the months passed, the deeper she fell in love with Luisa, and the more the fear grew that it would all be taken away.

\--

Luisa had developed this odd relationship with a pair of professors whom she had during the Fall quarter. It kind of creeped Rose out because they took regular out-of-town trips and asked Luisa to housesit. Nothing improper ever happened as far as Rose knew, but Luisa was very trusting of other people and this was the sort of thing that Rose found suspicious. As a consequence, Rose usually went with Luisa to make sure that everything was okay. Luisa thought Rose’s skeptical suspicion of the arrangement was hilarious, but Luisa saw the best in people, whereas Rose always saw the worst. 

One March afternoon, all classes were unexpectedly canceled when there was a rare freak tropical storm headed their way. It was months after hurricane season, and everyone was scrambling to get home as the rain started. The campus cleared out.

Rose, Kara and Erin all arrived at the apartment within twenty minutes of each other. 

Rose was relieved to see her roommates, but was worried when Luisa was still gone. The rain was starting to get heavy, although the worst of the storm had not yet hit. She tried calling Luisa, but it’d gone straight to voicemail. She’d actually tried to call Luisa the entire way home, but the phone lines had been spotty.

“Where the hell is Luisa?” Rose asked. Anxiety gnawed at her belly.

“I think she mentioned she was going to the Boyds’ house today,” Erin said. “They’re out of town again.”

Fear and anxiety gnawed at Rose’s belly. The Boyds’ house was on a hill by the beach in an area known for mudslides during hurricane season. They were well past hurricane season now, but this was a rare freak storm. There was no way the house was ready for this storm.

“Fuck,” Rose whispered. She grabbed her keys again.

“Wait, where the fuck are you going?” Erin asked. 

“I’m going to find Luisa.”

“Rose, don’t be crazy. The roads are insane, and the rain is really coming down now. If she is at the Boyds, she’ll be okay. If she’s not there, maybe she’ll be home soon. Just stay put.”

“No,” Rose said. She could not live with the anxiety. She had to do something.

Erin grabbed her arm. “Don’t be crazy! You can’t go out there!”

“You don’t have to come with me to look for her, but you are _not_ going to stand in my way!”

“Rose, calm down,” Kara said. “One, we can’t all leave. If Luisa does get home, she will freak out when she sees none of us are here and will probably go out looking. Two, you _know_ better than this, and that you should stay put. So stay put.”

“No.”

\--

Rose knew it was insane, but she just could not sit idly by when she didn’t know where Luisa was. She’d gone to the Boyds multiple times, so she had the drive more or less memorized, and it wasn’t that far away. She took the route they always took, and she kept an eye out for Luisa’s car. She was glad the Crap Bucket was so identifiable, even if she didn’t see it on the road. 

The drive was frightening—she could barely see anything and she nearly wiped out a dozen times, but when she saw Luisa’s crap bucket Studebaker parked in front of the Boyds’ house, she nearly cried with relief. 

Luisa was outside putting up the last of the hurricane shutters over the windows, but when she saw Rose’s car, she ran up. 

“Are you insane?” Luisa yelled. “Why would you come up here in a storm?”

“I could ask the same of you! How could you come here instead of coming home?”

“I told them I would look after their house! I was going to come here today anyway, and then they said the storm was coming, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay!”

“Goddammit, Luisa! Not in a hurricane!”

“It’s just a tropical storm!”

They were both getting soaked to the bone as the rain pelted them.

“Come on,” Luisa said, grabbing Rose by the hand. They ran into the house. Luisa shut and locked the door and immediately threw herself on Rose. “Rose, you idiot,” she cried. “How could you drive in this storm?”

Rose hugged her tightly. “How could you come here instead of coming home?” she asked. “I couldn’t stay at home without knowing you were okay.”

“God, you’re stupid,” Luisa breathed. “I can’t believe you would brave a storm just to look for me.”

“I couldn’t think,” Rose said thickly. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“I love you,” Luisa whispered, “You dummy.”

“ _You’re _the one with the 152 IQ.”__

__Luisa shook her head. “I love you,” she repeated._ _

__\--_ _

__Luisa had gym bag in her car with a couple changes of clothing, and so she ran out to her car to fetch it. They stripped off their clothing and changed into the dry set of clothes to wait out the storm. The pants were a little small on Rose, but it was better than her wet jeans. They sat on the Boyds’ couch to wait out the storm._ _

__Rose and Luisa tried to call their roommates, but the phone lines were down._ _

__“What a freak storm,” Luisa commented. “This happened once at the Maracay. Raf was really little, and he was really scared.” She paused. “I had to act tough for him, but I have to admit, I was scared, too. It’s nice not to be alone. I’m still pretty mad you came here when you knew it was dangerous, but I’m really glad I’m not alone.”_ _

__“Well, I’m pretty mad you came here, too. But I’m glad I’m with you. I’d rather be with you anywhere than alone at home.”_ _

__“Just don’t ever do something like this again. If something happened to you while you were coming here, I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t want you to ever get hurt because of me.”_ _

__Rose sighed. “I know it wasn’t rational, but I’d do it all again. If I’m not sure that you’re safe, there’s nothing that is going to stop me from making sure you’re okay. How about _you_ don’t ever do something like this, and I won’t have to do something like this.”_ _

__Luisa swallowed hard. “But if something happened to you while you were looking for me, I don’t think I would want to live anymore. I would have killed myself.”_ _

__A lump the size of her fist rose up in Rose’s throat and she found it difficult to breathe. “Don’t say that,” Rose said. “Please don’t ever say that.”_ _

__“I know this will sound crazy, but I’m not sure I want to live without you.”_ _

__Rose swallowed hard. “It’s not crazy,” she said softly. “I feel that way, too. But please don’t ever say you would kill yourself over me. I mean, I want you to be honest with me, always. If you ever feel that way, _please_ tell me. But the thought of a world without you, even if you’re not with me, breaks my heart.”_ _

__Luisa sighed and laid down so her head rested in Rose’s lap. “Most of the time, I kind of get why my mom did it. I mean, it doesn’t seem unreasonable that the world sucks so much that you want to leave. But at the same time, the older I get and the more I experience, it makes less sense to me, too, you know? I _like_ being alive, and I can’t imagine that even on our worst days together, that it wouldn’t be worth it to stick around for you. I just…I think about all the time why I wasn’t enough for my mom. I mean, what is it that I could have done differently that would have made it worth her while to stick around a little longer? Even just a day or two.”_ _

__“Luisa,” Rose said softly, running her fingers through Luisa’s hair. “I don’t know what was going on with your mom, or why she chose that day. But I know it wasn’t you. There was nothing a six year old—not even an adorable genius six year old could have done to make her stay. Just like there was nothing you could have done to make her leave.”_ _

__“But why wasn’t I enough?” Luisa asked softly. “You would be enough for me to stay. A lot of other people think about their kids and don’t kill themselves.”_ _

__“It wasn’t about you, baby,” Rose said, her voice tender. “If it was, she would have stayed. We won’t ever know, and we’ll just have to be okay with it. But I promise you that I will always do my best to be good to you and to make staying with me worth your while.”_ _

__Luisa chuckled. “Okay,” she murmured. “And I promise the same.” She swallowed hard. “I’m sorry about today. You’re right. I should not have come here. I’m just not used to people really caring what happens to me, and I never imagined a scenario where you would come here after me.”_ _

__“It’s okay,” Rose said, playing with Luisa’s hair. “I wasn’t thinking either. I should have stayed put, I never thought about what it would do to you if I got hurt. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”_ _

__Luisa peered up at Rose. “So, we’re in agreement then. From now on, I think about you and how it would affect you, and you think about me.”_ _

__“Okay,” Rose said. “I promise.” She crossed her heart._ _

__Luisa smiled. “Promise,” she said, crossing her heart as well._ _

__\--_ _

__After the storm passed, Luisa and Rose drove home. There were some downed trees, but the city otherwise looked okay. The power was still out in many parts of the city._ _

__When Luisa and Rose got home, Kara and Erin were in the living room, listening to Kara’s battery-powered radio._ _

__“Oh, hey!” Erin said. “Thank God you guys are home!”_ _

__“Hey,” Luisa and Rose said._ _

__Erin got up, and Luisa held out her arms, thinking Erin was going to hug her._ _

__Instead, Erin slugged Luisa in the arm and then punched Rose twice in the arm._ _

__“You get two because you were twice the dumb ass,” Erin told Rose._ _

__“Ow,” Luisa said, rubbing her arm. “Why!”_ _

__“Listen, you little idiot,” Erin said. “When a freak tropical storm warning comes, you go home. You don’t go to mudslide country. You’re lucky you didn’t get washed away.”_ _

__Rose rubbed her arm resentfully. That actually hurt quite a bit. Erin had quite a bit of short girl rage and her fists felt like little hammers. She reared her fist and punched Erin back._ _

__“Ow!” Erin said, rubbing her arm. “What the hell? You deserved that and you know it! You’re both dumb asses.” Erin looked at Rose. “But you’re the bigger dumb ass.” She gave her a small grin. “Now that I know you’re okay, can I just say what a fucking drama queen you turned out to be? You were all ‘you don’t have to come with me, but you aren’t going to stop me.’ Christ on the cross, when did you become a character on _All my Children_?”_ _

__Rose flushed, embarrassed, especially when she saw the big smile on Luisa’s face._ _

__“You were in my way,” Rose muttered._ _

__“You were all aggressive,” Kara said. “You psychopath.”_ _

__“She’d really be more of a sociopath,” Luisa interjected. Luisa put her arm around Rose’s waist and kissed her cheek. “My hero.”_ _

__\--_ _

__As Luisa’s 18th birthday approached, Rose’s anxiety increased as she wondered how she could possibly make Luisa’s birthday special._ _

__The day had so much emotion tied to it, and Rose knew that Luisa didn’t really like to celebrate her birthday because of the history behind it, but it was a significant birthday, and Rose wanted to do something to acknowledge its significance._ _

__She was glad she had thoughtful roommates, even if they were both perverts, and possibly psychopaths. Erin and Kara approached her together._ _

__“So, there’s a special day coming up,” Erin said with a wide grin,_ _

__“Arbor Day?” Rose asked, confused._ _

__“Arbor Day? What?! No! I mean, yes. Arbor Day is coming up although I did not take you for an environmentalist,” Kara said. “Luisa’s birthday is coming up!”_ _

__Rose was cranky. “I _know_!”_ _

__“Well,” Erin said. “Kara and I were talking, and we thought it would be nice if we made ourselves scarce for a couple days around her birthday, that way you can… do whatever it is that you have planned for her in _private_.”_ _

__“I don’t have anything planned yet,” Rose grumped. But the idea of an empty apartment made her very happy. “But thank you,” she said. “I would really appreciate that.”_ _

__“It’s more for us than for you,” Kara said. “We don’t really want to hear your sex-crazed declarations of undying teenage love.”_ _

__Rose grimaced. “I hate you both. Truly.”_ _

__Kara nodded sagely. “We like Luisa better, so I guess it all evens out.”_ _

__\--  
The night before Luisa’s 18th birthday, Kara and Erin each made excuses for why they weren’t coming home, and Rose and Luisa had the apartment to themselves. It was no big deal since Luisa’s birthday fell on a Sunday that year. _ _

__Rose decided on a quiet celebration rather than anything big. She thought about arranging for a big surprise party, but she knew that wasn’t something Luisa would want. Luisa loved a good party, but not on her birthday. She just wanted something _bigger_ than their usual dates to communicate how glad she was that there was a Luisa Alver in the world, and to communicate the depths of her feelings for her. _ _

__They were lying in bed as it became midnight. Rose had watched the numbers on her alarm clock turn from 11:59PM to 12:00AM._ _

__Rose grinned and pressed closer to Luisa. “Happy birthday to you,” she began to sing. She kissed Luisa’s neck. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Luisa. Happy birthday to you,” Rose sang before kissing Luisa for a long, languid moment. “Happy birthday, baby,” she whispered as they pulled apart._ _

__Luisa chuckled as she stroked Rose’s face. “You’re certainly punctual,” she said. “I love that about you.”_ _

__Rose chuckled. “Yes, my punctuality is one of my best attributes,” she said._ _

__“Thank you, baby,” Luisa murmured, pulling Rose into a kiss. “Take off your clothes,” she whispered. “I’ve been waiting for so long, and I’m a full-fledged adult now. Don’t make me wait any longer or I might really lose it.”_ _

__This wasn’t exactly how Rose thought it would happen, but she wasn’t going to say no. She’d waited three months for this, and if she were honest with herself, this had been building up for almost two years. She wasn’t going to continue to deny herself something she wanted so badly._ _

__Clothes were discarded and thrown to the floor, and their bodies pressed together._ _

__Fireworks._ _

__\--_ _

__Rose had never been a cuddler after sex, but then again, she’d never had sex with anyone she actually loved before. But with Luisa, she loved the feeling of being close to her, and Rose realized that at least when it came to Luisa, she was definitely a cuddler after sex._ _

__Luisa stroked Rose’s cheek. “You know what I have a weird hankering for?”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“You know those little powdered donuts? Like, those Hostess donettes where you can practically taste the chemicals. I suddenly really want one.”_ _

__Rose contemplated that. “I could go for one of those,” she said. She started to get up. “I’ll run out to 7-Eleven and get you some.”_ _

__Luisa pulled her back. “No,” she said. “Don’t leave. I want them, but I’d rather have you.”_ _

__Rose chuckled. “But now _I_ want them.”_ _

__“It’s three in the morning,” Luisa said. “And there are other things I’d rather do than wait for you to get back with some donuts,” she murmured._ _

__Rose felt the scrape of Luisa’s teeth on her neck, and then Luisa’s fingertips were digging lightly into her skin, and suddenly Luisa was _everywhere_. _ _

__“Stay with me,” Luisa whispered._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__Fireworks again._ _

__\--_ _

__A few hours later, Rose woke up, still naked. Luisa was naked. After they had sex, they’d each gone to pee (of course) to avoid getting UTIs, but they didn’t bother to put on clothes. Sleeping naked next to the girl she loved, and Rose wanted to do this into infinity._ _

__Rose quietly got dressed, looking back at a _very_ asleep Luisa with some self-satisfaction. She was dead to the world. She had done that to her girlfriend. _ _

__Her first stop was to the 7-Eleven where she bought several sleeves of powdered donuts. The next stop was to the little Venezuelan breakfast shop a couple miles from their apartment. Luisa loved the cachapas and arepas there, and Rose liked the food as well. She got enough food to feed an army, since Luisa liked having a lot of choices, and since it was Luisa’s birthday, Rose thought it was a good day to be indulgent._ _

__Luisa was still asleep when Rose came home with breakfast and coffee, and she busied herself with plating everything and putting in on a tray._ _

__Rose never brought breakfast in bed to anyone, but seeing the delighted smile on Luisa’s face when she woke up made Rose want to do this every day for the rest of her life._ _

__“Happy birthday, baby,” Rose greeted._ _

__Luisa sat up and stretched. Rose swallowed hard at the sight of Luisa stretching—naked. She was backlit by sunlight streaming into their bedroom, and she looked beautiful and perfect. Rose wondered what she had done to deserve this. Rose didn’t think she was a particularly good person, and yet, here she was probably happier than she deserved._ _

__Luisa smiled widely. “Oh my God, I’m starving. Thank you!” she said._ _

__Rose set the tray down next to Luisa’s bed and passed Luisa a coffee._ _

__Luisa took a hearty sip. “God, that’s the best.” She looked at Rose. “You’re wearing too much. If I’m going to eat naked, you’re going to eat naked.”_ _

__Rose smiled. “Maybe you should put on clothes,” she joked._ _

__Luisa raised a brow. “Do you want me to?”_ _

__“Absolutely not,” Rose said immediately._ _

__“Then take off your clothes.”_ _

__Rose gave her an indulgent smile and began shucking her clothes off. She had an audience. She gave Luisa a coy smile as she allowed her bra to fall to the ground._ _

__“That’s better,” Luisa said, her voice cracking slightly._ _

__\--_ _

__After they finished eating, and Rose put the leftovers in the fridge, Rose presented Luisa with a sleeve of the white powdered donuts._ _

__Luisa grinned. “You remembered.”_ _

__“It was only a few hours ago,” Rose said nuzzling Luisa’s cheek. “Just because you finally turned 18 doesn’t mean you can insinuate the rest of us are geriatric.”_ _

__Luisa giggled and brushed her lips against Rose’s lower lip. Her tongue peeked out and Rose parted her lips._ _

__When they pulled apart, Luisa rested her forehead on Rose’s forehead. “I’m starting to believe in God,” Luisa confessed. “Because I can’t believe that it was all just a coincidence that we came to the same school and that we happened to move across the hall from each other last year. It all feels like there was some design here.”_ _

__Rose didn’t believe in God, but she could see Luisa’s point. “Maybe it’s just fate,” she said, stroking Luisa’s cheek. “Maybe ours is just the greatest love story ever told and all this is happening the way it is supposed to happen.”_ _

__Luisa gazed into Rose’s eyes. “Now _that_ I can believe in.”_ _

__\--_ _

__Rose’s plans for the rest of the day were loose, which was a good thing because Luisa didn’t seem to want to do anything except lounge around naked and have sex all day. And if they weren’t having sex, they were making out which usually led to having sex. They barely left the bed all day and polished off a few sleeves of powdered donuts as a post-coital snack._ _

__Luisa was dozing and Rose just took a moment to look at her. Luisa was naked, and she was mostly still, except her feet were still wiggling. Rose chuckled in amusement. Even when Luisa claimed to be worn out, her body still seemed to have excess energy._ _

__“Just beautiful,” Rose murmured, running a finger across Luisa’s collarbones._ _

__Luisa grinned. “Aren’t you tired of deflowering me yet?”_ _

__Rose snorted. “Yes, you were real vestal before today.”_ _

__As to be expected, Luisa was as enthusiastic in bed as she was in all other arenas of life, and Luisa had taught her a few things, even if Rose was the (slightly) more experienced one._ _

__Luisa laughed and opened her eyes, gazing into Rose’s eyes. “Can you blame me that when I see your face I want it between my legs?”_ _

__Rose was accustomed to Luisa’s bluntness now. “The things I want to do to you,” she said softly, trailing her finger across Luisa’s cheek._ _

__“You can do them,” Luisa murmured. “You can do anything you want to me.”_ _

__“Is that a _promise_?”_ _

__“It certainly is.”_ _

__\--_ _

__Eventually they got out of bed and took a much needed shower. Even though she loved showering with Luisa, Rose realized in their crappy little bathroom, showering with another person was pretty overrated. Showering alone was underappreciated._ _

__“Rose, my love, my heart, my spirit, my breath, my reason for living,” Luisa said. “I love you very much but until I earn my first couple million and can buy you a big house with a rain shower, I’m going to insist that we shower separately. That was the coldest warm shower of my life.”_ _

__“Luisa, sweetie, honey, baby, you don’t have to talk me into that. That was a very mediocre shower considering you scrubbed my back.”_ _

__Luisa gave her a squinty-eyed look. “One day, I’m going to make sure you upgrade showering with me from mediocre to the best thing ever. But for now, I’ll have to agree.”_ _

__Rose laughed, knowing she’d just stoked something competitive in Luisa. “Do you promise?”_ _

__“Cross my heart, babe.”_ _

__Rose thought now was as good a moment as any to hand Luisa her carefully wrapped gift. “Happy Birthday, Luisa.”_ _

__“You didn’t have to!”_ _

__“It’s your 18th birthday, babe. Of course I had to.”_ _

__Luisa carefully took off the wrapping paper and opened the jewelry box. “You got me a necklace?” she asked with a bright smile._ _

__Rose shrugged, a little embarrassed by the emotion she was feeling. “Your 18th birthday should be special,” she said. “I hope you like it.”_ _

__It was a simple heart necklace, but Rose hoped to give Luisa better jewelry in the future. This was just a starter._ _

__“I love it, put it on me.”_ _

__Luisa turned her back and Rose helped put the necklace on._ _

__“How does it look?” Luisa asked, turning back to face Rose._ _

__Considering it was the only thing that Luisa was wearing, Rose found it difficult to answer._ _

__“Beautiful,” Rose breathed._ _

__\--_ _

__For dinner, Rose had reservations at a little seafood restaurant at the pier. On the drive there, Luisa lowered the window and sang along to Sade (‘By Your Side’ which Rose loved), LFO (‘Summer Girls’ which Rose hated, partly because she actually once spent a summer working at Abercrombie and Fitch) and Rehab (‘It Don’t Matter’ which Rose actually never heard before but she liked it.)_ _

__Rose loved every second of it. When she had moments like these, Rose wished she could find some way to make it last a little longer. She’d always found life as being a bit of a chore and when she was younger, she thought life was solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short regardless if she was part of a society or not. Thomas Hobbes was an optimist compared to her younger self._ _

__But now, she was in love and she sang along with Luisa to songs, even ones she hated._ _

__The food was delicious, and Rose could see that Luisa was enjoying herself, but she wished she could have made this day something more than just food and sex. Rose definitely enjoyed the day, but she wished there was something more she could do as a grand gesture. Luisa was generous with her smiles, and Rose loved being on the receiving end._ _

__After dinner, they went for a walk on the pier. Rose reached for Luisa’s hand, threading their fingers together._ _

__Luisa was quiet, and Rose knew better than to press when Luisa was quiet in that way. It’s not that Luisa was always noisy or talking, but there were times when Luisa was quiet because she had nothing to say, and there were times when she was quiet because she was contemplating. Now was one of those moments when Luisa was contemplating, and Rose had a lot of contemplating to do herself, so she was content to just hold Luisa’s hand and let the silence ride._ _

__She thought about how much she wanted _this_ with Luisa. How much she wanted Luisa. She thought about how lucky she was to have met Luisa now before Rose lost hope for the future, because Rose didn’t think people got _less_ cynical as they got older. Rose had reached a point in her life when she didn’t think she’d ever meet someone and fall in love, and she kind of had this vision for her own future where she was successful, but alone. It didn’t seem sad or cynical at the time, but now that she had Luisa, she thought about how they met at exactly the right time before Rose started to make some irreversible life decisions. _ _

__“This was a perfect day,” Luisa said, pulling Rose to a standstill. “Thank you.”_ _

__Rose smiled. “Welcome to adulthood, Luisa Alver.”_ _

__Luisa shook her head. “You’re so silly,” she chided, but she leaned up on her tiptoes to give Rose a kiss._ _

__The dark sky lit up with actual, literal fireworks, but it took Luisa and Rose a moment to notice._ _

__Luisa and Rose pulled apart to watch the fireworks over the water._ _

__“Wow,” Luisa said. “What’s the occasion?”_ _

__“Your birthday,” Rose joked. “Actually, they do this every Sunday.”_ _

__If she could have arranged the fireworks, she would have._ _

__“They do?” Luisa asked. “Why is this the first time I’m hearing of this?”_ _

__Rose smiled ruefully. “I know. I’m sorry. I just found out, too. But at least we’re here now.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Luisa agreed. “They’re really pretty.”_ _

__“They are,” Rose agreed, even though she could scarcely take her eyes off Luisa. “I wonder how fireworks actually work.”  
.   
“Oh, it’s the metal salts and oxidizing agents,” Luisa informed. “And the colors come from strontium, barium, copper and sodium working together.”_ _

__Rose bit her lip in amusement that Luisa had actually answered her question. Sometimes it was difficult to remember what a little nerd baby genius Luisa actually was. Affection swelled up inside her._ _

__“I see,” Rose said fondly. “Thank you for that explanation.”_ _

__Luisa seemed oblivious to Rose’s crazy affection in that moment, and Rose watched Luisa watch the fireworks show.  
\--_ _

__As the quarter was coming to a close, and Spring Break was approaching, Luisa seemed anxious and upset._ _

__“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, finally, deciding that she allowed Luisa to marinate for about a three days too long. “I know it’s not finals.”_ _

__Luisa bit her lip. “I don’t want to go back to the Maracay for Spring Break,” she admitted. “I don’t want to see Melissa again.”_ _

__“Do you have to go back?”_ _

__“I don’t know,” Luisa said. “My dad said he wants me to go back, but I’ve gone back home before only to find out he forgot I was coming and he wasn’t even in the country.”_ _

__“Maybe we can stay here.”_ _

__“Would your parents be okay with you staying here?” Luisa asked. “I know they want you to come home during breaks.”_ _

__“They don’t actually care if I go home,” Rose said. “They just care if I choose one over the other. I doubt they’d care if I stayed here. But if I need to make up a story, I’ll just tell them I got a jury duty notification.”_ _

__Luisa grinned. “You are a good liar.”_ _

__Rose was actually kind of proud. “Yeah. So, maybe we can both just stay here?”_ _

__“A week just with you?” Luisa beamed. “Let’s do it.”_ _

__\--_ _

__It was one of the best weeks of Rose’s life. She had no regrets about not going home. Instead of enduring sniping and griping from both her parents about the other parent, she spent the week naked and having a lot of drunk sex with Luisa._ _

__\--  
When the new quarter started, Rose was disgruntled to hear that Allison was in one of Luisa’s classes. _ _

__“It’s not a big deal,” Luisa said. “I’m sure I’ll hardly see her.”_ _

__Rose sighed, because there was nothing she could do._ _

__\--_ _

__One night, Luisa sat down on Rose’s bed, her expression very serious. “I have to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it.”_ _

__Rose was in the midst of reading _As I Lay Dying_ for class, and she was definitely _not_ enjoying it, and was looking for any excuse to put it down, but this wasn’t quite what she wanted. _ _

__“What’s wrong?” Rose asked._ _

__“I got assigned a group project in my evolution class,” Luisa said. “The TA assigned the partners.” She paused. “I got Allison as my partner.”_ _

__“Who is—” Rose trailed off. “Allison? Allison Cabral?” She absolutely refused to say “your Allison,” because Allison Cabral was definitely not Luisa’s anymore._ _

__Luisa winced. “Yes.”_ _

__“No way. Absolutely not.”_ _

__“Babe. I can’t do anything about it. It’s just shitty luck.”_ _

__Rose sighed. “Goddammit.”_ _

__\--_ _

__Rose came home from class knowing that at this very moment, Luisa was in one of the library study rooms with Allison. She was _not_ happy. _ _

__Kara and Erin stared at her as Rose angrily kicked off her shoes as they each hit the wall with thumps, rather than her usual manner of taking them off and putting them off to the side in a neat pair._ _

__Rose’s mouth was set into a pronounced pout as she stomped to her room and flopped onto her bed, grumbling about the unfairness of the universe. She pulled the covers over her head and continued to pout._ _

__She remained that way until Luisa came home two hours later._ _

__“Rose?”_ _

__Rose did not respond._ _

__“Little lump that I’m assuming is Rose?” Luisa ventured._ _

__That made Rose crack a small smile, but she wanted to continue pouting._ _

__After a few seconds, Luisa spoke again. “I’m naked,” she said, her voice sultry._ _

__Rose pulled the covers down immediately, and sat up. She scowled when she saw that Luisa was in a long shirt and jeans. “No, you’re not!”_ _

__She would be out of her bad mood in about a second if Luisa were naked, but since Luisa was fully clothed after saying she was naked, this was a cocktease on top of everything else. Rose’s bad mood only worsened. Rose crossed her arms and pouted._ _

__Luisa smiled, clearly amused. “I was hoping you could take my clothes off for me.”_ _

__Rose narrowed her eyes. “Stop using your sexy voice,” she said. “That was a big, fat lie.”_ _

__“So punish me.”_ _

__Rose fought a smile. She couldn’t stay cross. “Come here.”_ _

__Luisa was always up for a good time, and she was always down to try anything at least once._ _

__“Listen,” Luisa said. “I know that you aren’t happy with me working with Allison, and after giving it a go for a couple hours, I decided I really didn’t want to work with her, so I told her that I would do the project myself and she can put her name to it as long as she did not speak to me.”_ _

__Rose made a face. “I’m not happy about that either,” she protested. “I don’t want you to have to do all the work, and she gets an A on your back.”_ _

__“I don’t care about that,” Luisa said. “It’s no big deal to me do all the work. She’s an idiot anyway. She’d just slow me down. I’ve worked on plenty of group projects with her in high school, and I always did all the work anyway.”_ _

__“I just really hate her,” Rose said._ _

__Luisa smiled crookedly. “It was my heart she broke, you know. You don’t have to hate her.”_ _

__Rose pursed her lips. “Anyone who hurts you, hurts me. And I don’t forgive the way you do.”_ _

__Luisa smiled. “Take off my clothes.”_ _

__Rose smirked and unbuttoned Luisa’s jeans, pulling them down. She stared. “What’s with the granny panties?”_ _

__Luisa chuckled. “They’re from Costco. I wasn’t going to waste a good pair of underwear on a day with Allison,” she said._ _

__Rose laughed lowly. “I had no idea you got your underwear from Costco.”_ _

__“Not all of them,” Luisa said. “But I find bulk shopping to be very efficient.”_ _

__Rose shook her head and began pulling Luisa’s underwear down. “I mean, they’re kind of cute. On you.”_ _

__Luisa sat down on the bed. “Take my shirt off.”_ _

__Rose obliged and also relieved Luisa off her bra. “God, your tits are nice.”_ _

__“Show me yours,” Luisa said. She began to tug at the neck of Rose’s shirt._ _

__“Okay, okay,” Rose said, shucking her shirt off. “You’re so impatient.”_ _

__“You’re not with me because of my infinite patience,” Luisa said. She started taking Rose’s pants off. “I hear you were in the middle of a temper tantrum when you got home,” she said. “I think you are real cute when you’re mad and jealous.”_ _

__“I was not having a temper tantrum,” Rose huffed._ _

__Luisa rubbed her thumb across Rose’s lower lip. “You are so cute when you pout.”_ _

__“I wasn’t jealous,” Rose said. “Not really anyway. I trust you. It’s not like I thought you were going to do anything with her.”_ _

__“Hell, no,” Luisa said. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. When you live at the Sistine Chapel, you don’t voluntarily move into Poor Tom’s hovel.”_ _

__Rose bit back a smile at Luisa’s ridiculously nerdy references. “It’s not like I thought you would do anything with her,” she said. “I trust you completely, but she was horrible to you, and you have this tendency to be nice to people who are horrible to you, and I didn’t want her to take advantage of that. I told you, anyone who hurts you, hurts me. And I don’t think she’s suffered enough for being so awful to you.”_ _

__“Rose, my love, my soul, my breath, my reason for living. We’re both naked. Do you really want to talk about my ex-girlfriend?”_ _

__Rose smiled. “I guess not,” she admitted._ _

__“Don’t get me wrong,” Luisa said. “I appreciate that you feel that way,” she murmured, kissing Rose’s jawline. “And no one except you has ever loved me like that, but I don’t want anyone else to love me like that anyway. Just you.”_ _

__Rose let out a small gasp as Luisa started to kiss down her throat and her collarbones. Her hands clenched into Luisa’s hair._ _

__“Let’s get married,” Luisa murmured. “Not today, but soon. After graduation. We can plan our lives now. We’ll go to the same place—me for medical school, you for law school. Maybe Stanford. And once we’re done with that, we’ll get married.” She kissed a trail down Rose’s body. “And I know neither one of us had good role models for marriage,” she said softly. “But I promise you right now,” she whispered, licking an ‘x’ into Rose’s inner thigh, and pushing Rose’s hips back down. “I promise you, I will never intentionally hurt you, that I will always think of you. You don’t even have to say yes right now. But just say yes to thinking about it. Tell me you’ll think about it”_ _

__Rose swallowed hard. “Yes,” she said. “To all of it.” She pulled Luisa close. “Let’s build a life. Let’s start now.”_ _

__\--_ _

__It was funny how quickly a life can pass when it was already mapped out._ _

__One day, Rose saw Luisa for the first time and covered her in half a venti iced Americano._ _

__The next day they were moving to California—both to attend Stanford, Luisa at medical school and Rose at law school._ _

__There were good days, and then there were _terrible_ days, but all those days took them to a wintry December day at City Hall, just the two of them._ _

__\--_ _

__The first time Rose saw Luisa once they were officially married, she heard bells._ _

__Literally._ _

__The officiant pronounced them married, and as they turned to one another, the city hall bell tower struck four times._ _

__“I hear bells,” Rose said in a sing-song._ _

__“Wife, just kiss me,” Luisa said._ _

__“God, you’re bossy.”_ _

__“Kiss me and make me happy,” Luisa said. “Happy wife, happy life.”_ _

__“I can’t argue with that.”_ _

__And then they kissed._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief epilogue next, you can stop here if you wish


	6. Epilogue

Luisa woke up on the morning of her 15th wedding anniversary to her wife watching dog rescue videos on Instagram.

“Good morning,” Luisa said, rolling onto her back.

“Good morning,” Rose said. She put her phone back on the nightstand. “Happy anniversary,” she said. “Are you ready to exchange gifts?”

Luisa shut her eyes and stretched. “Why bother?” Luisa said with a lazy smile. “You got me an Instant Pot and I got you a sous vide. This is what happens when you get old.”

“You were so romantic when you were younger,” Rose teased. “Where are the grand gestures of yesteryear?”

“I was 16 and you wouldn’t notice anything I did,” Luisa pointed out. 

“But where are my grand gestures now?”

Luisa sniffed. “I already bought the cow, lady. I don’t need to do any more gestures.”

“Watch it, fella,” Rose said, using her leg to bring Luisa closer. One hand reached out to cup one of Luisa’s breasts and giving it a not-so gentle squeeze, and Rose brought her lips to kiss Luisa’s neck.

“See?” Luisa giggled. “I get fondled for free.”

“Mmm,” Rose said. “Don’t forget I bought the cow, too,” she murmured, nipping at Luisa’s neck and squeezing Luisa’s breast again.

Luisa smacked Rose’s hand which resulted in her slapping her own breast. “Ow, shit. That hurt. Look at what you made me do.” 

“I’m into it,” Rose said. “You know I like it a little weird.”

“You are definitely into some weird shit.”

“You’re into weirder shit.”

Luisa smiled lasciviously. “Okay, open your night stand. I do have a little gift for you.”

\--

One hour later, as they shared a sleeve of powdered donuts in bed, Luisa was ready to get competitive again. Later, they would take a shower together in their amazing rain shower, and afterward, they’d watch murder documentaries naked in bed because this is what couples did after 15 years of marriage. But for now, Luisa was content to lounge naked with her wife. 

“You know, if you hadn’t been so oblivious, we’d be married a lot longer.”

Rose snorted. “Yes, because I wanted a child bride. We got married when we were supposed to get married.”

“When you think about it, it’s shocking we even got together,” Luisa said. “I was very brave to confess my feelings because I got tired of waiting for you to give me a sign. I was dropping some real obvious hints,” Luisa said. “And you just weren’t picking up. I mean, I was dropping signals practically from the moment we met.”

“You were with someone else,” Rose said. “Who was horrible, might I add. How was I to know you were into me? And anyway, I don’t even think you knew that you were into me.”

“Have you ever looked at yourself? Of course I was into you. I was just confused. Have you forgotten my first girlfriend was horrible? I was a mess back then.”

“What does it say that your first love was so horrible?”

“ _You’re_ my first love,” Luisa said softly, suddenly serious. “I barely even remember her name.”

“It was Allison Cabral.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Well, it was.”

Luisa elbowed Rose gently. “I’m being serious here. You’re my first love. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for you back then if you’d asked me.”

Rose swallowed hard. “You weren’t ready back then,” she said softly, kissing Luisa’s cheek. “I was pretty obvious with how I felt about you, and you weren’t picking up on it.”

“Well, you weren’t picking up on my signs either! If you had asked me to crawl on my hands and knees through glass and sit naked outside a gas station, I would have.”

“Kinky, babe.”

Luisa swatted Rose’s shoulder.

“Kinky, babe.”

Luisa laughed. “I really can’t believe I managed to trick you into marrying me.” 

“I asked you. Where was the trick?”

“Excuse me, but I told you that I wanted to marry you long before we actually got married. I put that out there.”

“Yeah, but I got down on a knee and gave you a ring. And then we got married the next day.”

“But it was my idea not to wait.”

Rose squinted. “I would have married you on your 18th birthday. I only waited because when you told me about your vision of our future, marriage was after I finished law school and you finished med school.”

Luisa sighed and closed her eyes in resignation. “Can’t we just agree that getting married was a great choice?”

Rose smiled. “Ha! I win!”

“Arguably, being married to me makes you a winner.”

Rose grinned. “It does.”

“Even if I am a mentally ill alcoholic with a criminal father, a fuckboy little brother and a stepmother who still tries to molest me intermittently.”

Rose’s smile faded. “Well, I would reframe that as being married to a tough doctor who has been sober for ten years and managed to accomplish everything she has in life without an ounce of emotional support from her family.”

“Reframing,” Luisa drawled. “Good ol’ Al-anon. And anyway, _you’re_ my family. You’re all I need. I just think I got a better deal in this marriage than you did.”

“Luisa,” Rose said slowly. “If the police ever came here to investigate me as a serial killer, no one would be surprised because everyone thinks I am a real cunt, and they’re right. My own parents like you better than me. I definitely got the better deal in this marriage.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about our lives,” Luisa declared.

“Of course we wouldn’t,” Rose said. “After all, ours is the greatest love story ever told.”

The End


End file.
